Dear Fanfiction Writers
by RainWillMakeTheFlowersGrow
Summary: This story is really weird... Review with a letter and the character will reply. Like it started with just Les Mis, and then A Tale of Two Cities, and then Phantom, and now it's basically all fictional French people that the authoress knows about. Yeah.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Sooo...fanfiction deleted this story and I have no idea why, because all the other fandoms have them and there's nothing I found in the guidelines against it...so, yeah. Hoping it was just a mistake and putting it back up! Heh heh. Heh heh. Don't kill me, fanfiction.**

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Thank you, my adoring subjects, for thinking I deserve a happy ending. I agree.

Your queen,

Éponine.

* * *

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Why does the fact that I had a happy ending mean that I can't have a happy ending?

Sincerely,

Cosette.

* * *

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Half the book is about us. You do realize that, right? *sniffle*

From,

The Bishop, the Nuns, and All the Soldiers at Waterloo.

* * *

**A/N: So, these are popular in other fandoms, and I had a few Mizzie ideas...I hope you enjoy it!**

**It has been proven that I will do anything for reviewers (SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: SEE MY STORY, "THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN IS DELICIOUS" FOR PROOF) so I'm going to try Airene Archerway's tactic...if you review with a letter to a character, I will write a reply in the next chapter.**

**Anyways, I did three this chapter so you could decide if you liked it or not...but I'm pretty sure I'll be doing just one a chapter from now on. And I swear on the Brick my author's notes won't be as long next time.**


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I would just like to point out that I graduated from law school.

This seems to indicate _some_ level of intelligence.

Yours,

Marius.

P.S. Why does everyone seem to think 'Ponine is in love with me?

* * *

Dear Kitty,

I am most definitely pleased with the fact that France is now a republic. However, Grantaire never did, I believe, truly support us or even care. I have no interest whatsoever in him, and would appreciate you honoring this (somehow, I have a feeling that you won't...sigh. _Fangirls._). I am glad to be inspiring, but it was (sadly) not enough at the time. Vive la France!

Sincerely,

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Om,

I am naturally talented, I guess, though I'm so modest I would never say so. (Wait, was that a rhetorical question? Those confuse me...)

Flattered,

Cosette

P.S. Have we met before? You sound just like one of my friends!

* * *

**A/N: Aww, thank you guys for the reviews! Now do it again...and again...and again...**


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Why do you keep getting my name wrong? It's 'Enjolras', not 'Enjonine'. Gosh, people. And you call yourselves _fans_.

Cordially,

Enjolras.

P.S. Wait, Courfeyrac tells me it means—OH MY ROBESPIERRE, COURFEYRAC, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

* * *

Dear *cough* enjy'scuddlebear,

I'm...flattered...(not really; that's a lie)...but...I don't really have time for a...wife...in my life right now...um...yeah...Patria is really my, like...ARGH! WHERE HAS MY ELOQUENCE GONE? CURSE YOU, ENJY'SCUDDLEBEAR!

Anyway...yeah. I mean, NO! NO!

Enjolras (not Enjy. Never, ever, ever Enjy.)

* * *

Om...the magnificent,

Here are the answers to your questions. Now go away before I arrest you for harassment.

1. My favorite color is gray. Not pink.

2. I do not have any pets. Except for my special kitty Snookums.

3. I do not know my birthday, which is sad, because I really want to know my star sign.

4. NO, NO, NO. I do NOT have a crush on Mme Thénardier!

5. My favorite song is "Look Down". It makes me laugh.

6. Yes.

7. Yes.

8. YES!

9. Well...not quite.

10. No. There are many. And I chase every single one of them equally obsessively. I have a special song for each one too.

11. Because...because...next question.

12. I DO NOT KEEP A DIARY! VALJEAN, IF YOU SAID ANYTHING- anyway.

Who the heck are you? Why are you invading my personal life?

UNsincerely,

Inspecter Javert (who has covered himself in purple triangles so you can't see him.)

* * *

**A/N: Okay. The enjy'scuddlebear letter was from me, I admit it. I just had so much fun imagining his reaction that I _had_ to...**

**And thank you, Om. You are our most loyal reviewer. You have reviewed twice. Good job. You get an e-sticker!**

**The purple triangle thing is sort of an inside joke...**


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Wow. I feel loved.

Sarcastically,

Fantine.

P.S. There are _two_ eligible male characters approximately my age. You have absolutely _no excuse._

* * *

**Gah! I'm glad NA had so many questions, and I'm going to answer them all, but in future, people, I would really rather you only wrote to one character. It just isn't fair to other people.**

* * *

Dear NA,

Hi! JV here to answer your questions. There certainly are a lot of them, aren't there? Here goes...

There was a movie? Oh yeah, I think the gang went to go see that...wait. Hugh Jackman was...me? OMG OMG I'M WOLVERINE THAT'S SO COOL!

It depends. I can hear Enjolras, sing, because he's really, really, loud. Gavroche, too. Sometimes I have trouble hearing Fantine sing because she's, like, sick and dying and stuff. But yes, in general, I can hear the people sing.

Thenardier says, _Help with wut? And this isnt Thenardier its Jondrette._ Come on. Give it up, Thenardier. We know it's you.

Javert says, _Russell Crowe? His facial hair was awesome. But he wasn't a great singer. And me...a girl? Together with...Valjean? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO! _Don't mind him, I'm sure he'd be better as a girl. Especially if he lost the sideburns.

Gavroche says, _I doubt he'll ever be as awesome as me. But you're on the right track with the elephant thing. Also, teach him to steal things and be insanely cute. _No! Don't teach him to steal things! Except candlesticks, from kindly bishops.

Marius has been thrust into the Grandeurs of Despair by your statement. Yet _again_. That boy, I tell you...

Cosette says, _Thank you! I feel like most people either ignore or hate me! _ Oh, they could never do that, my precious ickle sweetikins!

Éponine says, _Yeah, Sam and I have been buds for a while. She's cool. And I agree. Because the shorter "A Little Fall of Rain" is, the sooner my death is. Enjolras? Well, he's hot...but, not really my type._

Enjolras says, _Um, thank you. Aaron Tveit? Who did he play? And I think I've made my position on Enjonine quite clear. I'm never giving up on Patria._

Fantine says, _See? Everyone forgets about me._

Peace out, and remember: TO LOOOOOOOOOVE ANOTHER PERSON IS TO SEE THE FACE OF GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Jean Valjean.

* * *

Dear Guest,

Gah! Not Marius? That's so unfair!

Um...I guess I'd have to say Jean Prouvaire. Because he's just this big, fluffy teddy bear.

Éponine.

* * *

Dear Om,

Dont question the Vest.

Enjolras.

* * *

**Many marecees (teehee, I'm so FRENCH!) for all the reviews. It just gets me so excited to watch that little number going up. Because ten, is, like, the most reviews I've ever had! Thank you thank you thank you (that's what marecee means, if you're being FRENCH!)**

**See you soon,**

**RWMTFG.**

**P.S. This is completely random, but is anyone else here on the East Coast of the U.S.? And is the snow awesome or what?**


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I'm only going to say this once. Listen or you will feel THE WRATH OF THE SIDEBURNS.

_I. Am. Not. In. Love. With. 24601._

Ewwwww, just thinking about it gives me cooties.

From:

JAVERT, Inspector of Paris and Protector of ZE KING! (see my résumé for a complete job description.)

P.S. The revolutionary blondie says the same thing about the revolutionary drunkard.

* * *

Dear Precious Anne Tria (I don't believe that's your real name. Ha.)

1. Umm...if you have a candle of grief, I'd be happy to kindle our flame on it.

2. No. That's like...that's like saying Martha Washington was in love with everyone named George.

3. Yeah, people are always stopping me in the street and calling me Aaron. It's really confusing.

4. Sadly, cell phones haven't been invented yet.

5. What kind of hypocrite would I be if I only dated bourgeois? ALL PEOPLE ARE EQUAL!

6. I don't know. Courfeyrac does tend to talk about them a lot.

7. See #6.

8. "Most handsomest" is redundant.

9. Is ten good, or is ten bad? Because if it's bad, then he's a ten. That guy is like...ugh. "Napoleon is awesome! Blah blah blah! But wait. My girlfriend is awesomer. No, my father is awesomer. No, Thenardier is awesomer. No, Thenardier's a jerk." It. Gets. On. My. Nerves.

10. If I can convince them to join the cause, then yes.

11. NO.

12. Well, Victor Hugo said I was 21, when Marius first left his grandpa's...so, like, 207? Maybe?

13. I've never met you. I can't really say. Courfeyrac says to tell you yes.

Cordially,

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Kitty,

Thendarier! That's a good alias...I mean, yeah, this is Thendarier.

No. I would just stop eating it.

Yours,

Thendarier.

**A/N: Sorry if you left a review on the old one and I didn't answer it here; Evil Fanfiction deleted it, so I only had the ones I've already written.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**You know, that girl Musichetta you write about all the time? She has her name in the book ****_twice_****. And I'm, like, twelve whole chapters, and how many fanfics are about me? Here's a hint: I can count them. And I can't count.**

**From,**

**Champmathieu**.

* * *

Dear Eponine Sparrow...smiley face...,

Sure! I'll be your new best friend. I've never had one before...what exactly does that entail?

Marius got married? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O! But that won't stop our relationship. Nothing can stop true love! So, no. Nobody else. And I changed my mind; you can't be my best friend if you think he's a jerk. So there.

My favorite song is 'The Bishop'. It's the only song that I can't relate to. At all.

Nah. More time for MEEEEEEEE! Who cares 'bout Azelma and Gavroche?

With a Heart Full of Love,

Éponine.

* * *

Dear Snow Whitex Prince Charming,

1. Agreed.

2. The witness refuses to answer that question.

3. Yes, I've often wondered if that's why we lost at the barricades...the signup sheet for the revolution is at your local community center!

Yours, (not really)

Enjolras.

* * *

Dear ,

No. _No. NO!_

From,

Fantine.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! I love you guys! Three questions after, like, two hours! This is the way to get me to update! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**Fanfiction writers? Are you here?**

**Fanfiction writers? Are you _sure?_**

**Fanfictionwriterswellobvious lynoone'shereso...**

**MWAHAHAHAHA! YOU WILL BE..._CROSSED OUT!_**

**Yours,**

**Blondeau.**

* * *

Dear K,

No, no, no, no...

Enjolras and Éponine

* * *

Dear Snow Whitex Prince Charming,

1. As a kid? I don't really want children...

2. But if I did, I would name them Marius or Marie.

3. I think I'm a bit young to be adopting someone who's 15...that's, like, three years younger than me.

4. Um, deal! Courfeyrac will record it. Sorry, Enjolras...but, a hundred francs, just for kissing you! I'll go halfsies if you go along...

Sincerely,

Éponine.

* * *

Dear K,

Still no, no, no, no...

Enjolras and Éponine.

* * *

Dear Preciousat,

I still don't believe you.

Sorry about that. Evil Fanfiction.

From...um...I guess...

Enjolras and RainWillMakeTheFlowersGrow.

* * *

**A/N: I'm serious, you guys have found the SECRET OF ETERNAL UPDATES. Or it's just that I've found the SECRET OF ETERNAL REVIEWS.**


	8. Chapter 8

_Dear Fanfiction Writers,_

_This is Éponine, saying you're right! Enjolras is way better for me than Marius. We're planning a June wedding although it's going to conflict with his rebellion thil;jjjjjjjjj_

Very funny, Azelma. You know I don't like blonds.

From,

Éponine. _(and Azelma!)_

* * *

Dear K,

It's STILL no, no, no, no...

Enjolras and Éponine

* * *

Dear K,

No. I'm serious. Really.

Enjolras.

* * *

**A/N: Hey! I'm doing this instead of studying for a French test. Je n'y vais pas ma maison. Um...I do not go to my house. What? Yeah...**


	9. Chapter 9

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**I am not a scared little boy. I have never been a scared little boy. I will never be a scared little boy. I will always be awesome and gamin-y.**

**Sincerely (heh heh...not really),**

**Gavroche.**

* * *

Dear Eponine Jondrette,

Searching my heart...yeah, no feelings for her. I'm serious. Victor Hugo told me so.

Marius.

* * *

Dear Mormeril Dark Lady of Insanity,

*sigh* No, no, no, no...

Eponine and Enjolras.

* * *

Dear Guest,

Aw, thanks! Well, what kind of feelings? I have feelings of gratitude towards JVJ and feelings of love for Cosette and feelings of hatred for Javert...I have many feelings.

Fantine.

* * *

Dear M,

She told you to only write to one character. You wrote THREE LETTERS, which is way too many to answer. And since Marius isn't here, I'm going to answer with a quote from La Brique which should prove, hopefully, that I am NOT an insipid twit.

"Moreover, Cosette was not very timid by nature. There flowed in her veins some of the blood of the bohemian and the adventuress who runs barefoot."

So, ha.

Cosette.

* * *

Dear Opera Ghost,

All righty then. What exactly DID the phantom ask of me?

Cosette.

* * *

**A/N: So, took my French test today. We had to talk for 60 seconds and the only French I could remember was 'A la volonte du peuple' (Do You Hear The People Sing, en Francais.)...that was tres, tres, embarrassing. Whatever. That was completely irrelevent. Also, ONE DAY MORE until the DVD comes out! Excitedness! Also, sorry if the letters are terrible, I wrote them all in five minutes because I really wanted to update.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**Just because ****_I_**** can't spell my own name doesn't give you any excuse!**

**From,**

**Laiglessuetdemeaux.**

* * *

Dear Snow Whitex Prince Charming,

I suppose so.

Sincerely,

Cosette

* * *

Dear Preciousat,  
1. Kay, don't think you read the book very carefully. I did NOT want to see Cosette's ankle. Victor Hugo said I would rather have gone to a woman on the town...um, yeah.  
2. I stared because I had never seen anyone that poor. What kind of perv do you think I AM?  
3. Yes. We've been married for, like, 200 years.  
4. Because I LOVED COSETTE.  
5. His record is 318. I was there.  
6. Because I LOVE HER.  
7. Oh yeah. It's fun.  
8. 198,753,216. That's why I ran away from home.  
9. See #3.  
10. Well, yeah, but...I LOVE HER. So that makes everything okay, right?

From,

Le Baron (under Napoleon OMG i heart him sooo much!1!1!) Marius Pontmercy

* * *

Dear Darci,

Because its fun to annoy Enjy!

-Capital R

* * *

Dear K,

Okay, Enjy pecked me on the cheek. Gavroche helped convince him to do it and Courfeyrac recorded it. So I believe you now owe us a total of 17,000 francs. We're gonna use it to fund ZE REV-O-LOO-CEE-OWN!

Eponine.

* * *

Dear Om,

I know. I'm so jealous! But we're besties. We get together on Wednesdays to talk about our adorable 19th century nobles. I'm STILL not sure whether a vicomtee is better than a baron or not...

Cosette.

P.S. OMG WHERE? I WANT HIS AUTOGRAPH!

* * *

Dear Celestique,

Well, guess what? I don't care about YOUR lonely soul. So, ha

From,

Marius.

* * *

Dear Mormeril Dark Lady of Insanity, K, and Random Woman,

Whatever. We're getting tired of these letters. We're rebelling. Any future letters saying "OMG ENJONINE YOU'VE GOT TO GET TOGETHER!" will be ignored.

Eponine and Enjolras.

* * *

Dear The Modern Works,

Yeah. I mean, Marius rocks, but being rich REALLY ROCKS.

Azelma. She's kind of a brat.

Eponine.

* * *

Dear ElevensSweetie16,

Um...sure. I prefer...REDHEADS! Cause...they're RED.

Enjolras.

* * *

**A/N: Apologies for the long wait...I was in Pittsburgh for the weekend. In other news, only the first five questions asked each chapter will be answered from now on, cause these are getting too long and aren't really supposed to be the main point, anyway...props to Darci the Thespian and Eponine Jondrette for actually SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT THE STORY! Woo-hoo!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**You free Friday night?**

**Yours,**

**Courfeyrac.**

* * *

(Sorry, I didn't see these next few last chapter!)

* * *

Dear Guest (1),

Naw, 'Ponine couldn't be in LOVE with me! That would be WEIRD!

Marius.

* * *

Dear Guest (2),

Enjolras. It's obvious _I_ was meant to lead the revolution.

Gavroche.

* * *

Dear AliceRoseLoves to HUG,

NO. To...everything.

Enjolras.

P.S. I let Gavroche be there cause he was oppressed. If he wants to fight, I'm gonna let him.

* * *

Dear Darci the Thespian,

I would've...I dunno. There are ALWAYS problems with the government.

From,

Enjolras.

* * *

Dear Celestique,

What_ever_.

Marius.

* * *

Dear ,

1. Well...he was cute!

2. Eh. My Daddy told me to, so it must have been the right to do.

3. Yup! I cook for My Daddy.

4. They were just following their parents' examples. My Daddy tells me it's important to forgive.

5. Sadly, no. My Daddy tells me she looks just like Anne Hathaway!

Love,

Cosette.

* * *

Dear Fight Dream Hope Love 3,

Because the events I was referring to happened a while ago, so it seemed right to use the past tense. Of course I still love my precious sugar muffin!

Marius.

P.S. Enjolras wants to see if you'll _really_ stage a revolution if he ignores the letter.


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Oh good grief. Reading (and writing!) this stuff is just too addicting! I now have even less of a life than I did before.

Sincerely,

Grantaire.

P.S. Don't tell Enjolras about all the É/E fics I've been writing.

* * *

Dear awkward-narwhale 78,

I would have welcomed a friend of any kind at all. Even if they wore ugly blue hats.

Cosette.

* * *

Dear Eponine-Jondrette,

1. If you're Marius, you can call me 'Ponine. Otherwise...

2. Rude? Pshaw! I wanted to make sure it was feng shui!

3. Of course I know what PM is! How behind the times do you think I am?

4. You...REEEEEEAAAAAAAALLy LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVE MEEEEEEEEE? That's...mildly disturbing. I'm in love with Marius, though. Really.

5. I said "Some bourgeois two-a-penny thing", not "to a penny thing". As in, Cosette is cheap. Two-a-penny. Whereas scraggly yet lovable gamines are one in a million!

Ah, those homophones. They get me, too.

Eponine.

* * *

Dear SnowWhitex PrinceCharming,

As I told Darci the Thespian, because it's just that much fun to annoy Enjy.

Grantaire.

* * *

Dear Kitty,

Well, aren't I popular today! My hobbies...other than wine and Enjolras...why, that's easy!

1. Absinthe.

2. Beer.

3. Liquor.

4. Ale.

5. Scotch.

I could think of more, but...I've got a heck of a headache.

Grantaire.

* * *

Dear Preciousat,

Cool! I'll meetcha at the Musain at five, kay?

Loads of Love,

Courfeyrac.

* * *

**A/N: If you feel like seeing the funniest thing ever, look up "Blacklick High School Les Mis" and watch their KID-FRIENDLY production. Particularly "Lovely Ladies", Oh, forgive me, "Lovely People" in which Fantine is lowered to the disgrace of SELLING CLOTHING! "Don't they know they're taking gloves from one already dead?" Also, "In this nest of cheese and vipers, let him speak who saw it all!"**

**Do you think I could make this up? Check it out. Also, they can't sing. At all.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**OMG THIS FANNFICTION THING IZ SO KEWL! Yeah this is funn to reed i like 2 do it after marius and i act completely idiotic cuz thats obveeusly all we dew.**

**LOL,**

**Cosette.**

**P.S. My mom's the blonde one. Pick on _her_.**

* * *

Dear Darci,

My biggest medical scare was last week when I thought I had pneumonia, scarlet fever, lice, and OCD. ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

I'm _not_ a hypochondriac. I just get sick all the time!

My biggest fear is getting to the barricade, then realizing I had pneumonia, then going home and realizing that Musichetta had pneumonia, then discovering that all of Les Amis had pneumonia, and then we all died and France was taken over by the Black Plague, which Voldemort set upon the earth after he came back to life and then Bella Swan was like, "I'll never let go, Jack, I'll never let go!" and then, an army of rabid gerbils set out to battle Voldemort, captained by Al Capone, and they won, only they were dictators and France was enslaved forever under their thumb until Katniss Everdeen blew up the planet.

Well, you asked.

Jolllly.

* * *

Dear Celestique,

Maturity...is ten good or bad? Let's say good.

Marius-1

Courfeyrac-2

Grantaire-1

Jean Prouvaire-7

Bahorel-4

Bossuet-6

Feuilly-6

Combeferre-10

Moi-24601! Cuz I'm cool like dat.

The Enj.

* * *

Dear Fight Dream Hope Love 3,

Fine, I'll answer your stupid questions.

1. NO.

2. NO.

3. I...have no idea what that is.

4. I...still have no idea what it is.

5. Because SHE WAS THE FIRST OF US TO FALL...THE FIRST OF US TO FALL UPON THAT BARRICADE...

6. AUGH! I hate them all. Fine, Eponine.

7. Because I'm as beautiful as the sun! I'm so PRETTY!

8. It's my last name. Nobody knows my first name, except for my mother...and my father...oh, and there was that one night Grantaire told me the wine was grape juice and I ended up telling _everybody_...but you can't know. Ha.

9. That's a statement, not a question.

10. That's...another statement.

From,

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Guest,

Why does _everyone_ write to me?

1. I don't know. I always wanted to fight injustice and it struck me as strange that everyone else didn't think the world was unfair.

2. Um...well, we _had _to fight! And that was a really good strategy. It totally would have worked if the stupid _people_ had just found it in their schedules to _rise_.

From,

Enjolras

* * *

Dear K,

That would be cheating. You agreed already. Plus, I refuse to do what anyone orders me to! It's tyranny! Especially since you still haven't learned how to spell lmy name.

Enjolras.

P.S. Enjolras is handsome but it just can't happen. And please send the 17,000 francs. Like, ASAP.

Éponine

P. P. S. What about meeeee?

Gavroche

* * *

**A/N: I'm addicted to Broadway musicals...**

**Blegh. I wish I could sing.**


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

GASP! Beating my children! How could you even suggest such a thing! I mean, I know that they're completely useless, and bruises somehow make Éponine incredibly attractive to Enjolras, but I would neversadlf;kjfjasldf;j;aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Kicked my husband away from the computer. He's such a liar. But he's so CUTE!

M. and Mme...what was it again?

* * *

Dear K,

Okay. I prove that the revolution will be successful. In 1848. It says so on WIKIPEDIA! Pay up.

Enjolras

* * *

Dear PurpleMissAliceWhitlock,

1. BARF.

2. She would have flaming red hair, sparkling blue eyes and carry a French flag. Duh.

3. It's not a question of seriousness as much of sanity.

4. Well...it was raining. Also, she was THE FIRST OF US TO FALL...THE FIRST OF US TO FALL UPON THIS BARRICADE.

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Guest (1),

1. You will NEVER KNOW! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

2. Grantaire's too drunk to explain.

3. I try to avoid that vile 'Fanfiction' place as much as possible. I think the writers of it are posessed by the devil. And Louis-Philippe.

4. I have interest in PATRIA! Also, Katniss Everdeen.

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Guest (2),

Your letter made me crack up.

Because...is the first part related to the second part?

Yes, kissing Enjolras was exactly like death.

Eponine

* * *

Dear Eponine Jondrette,

First of all, argot for 'police' is actually 'cognes'. But I refuse to give away any more of our trade secrets.

Feng shui is...this...thing...it's Chinese, and it has to do with...like, moving stuff around to give the place a better atmosphere. Or something.

Pshaw is saying, like, "Nonsense!" But people said it a long time ago and if you use it people will give you weird looks like they give the authoress.

Ah...I'm always worried when my voice gets horse after drinking likker. Um...I have no idea what that sentence is supposed to mean. My voice gets _hoarse_ after drinking _liqour_...izzat what you meant?

I am 'Ponine. Are you talking about me to...me?

Eponine

* * *

**A/N: I watched POTO (the movie...) and IT HAD RAMIN KARIMLOO! EEEEEEE!**

**True, he had a five-second blurry role in a flashback in which we didn't see his face, but...**

**HE WAS THERE! YAY, RAMIN! I LOVE YOU!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**_Fanfiction?_ Go do something USEFUL with your lives! Build a barricade or something!**

**Huffily,**

**Enjolras.**

* * *

Dear PurpleMissAliceWhitlock,

Pleasure all the way. Who could love _her_? She's so _ugly!_ And...and stuff.

Montparnasse

* * *

Dear Kitty,

I ship Enjonine-who doesn't? Also, I ship Valjean/Fantine and Javert/Cosette. I'm hard at work on an epic Jav...ette? masterpiece, so I can convert more people! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Grantaire

* * *

Dear Anonymous,

It was-are you ready for this?

_"Patria."_

Remember? That scene at the barricades? Nobody heard it, though, so it was wasted.

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Celestique,

She's awesome! She fights in a revolution, and she hallucinates, and...y'know...is awesome.

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Mormeril, the Dark Lady of Insanity,

It's just you. All in your head. Heh heh. Right? I didn't...didn't give anything away?

Also, call me crazy, but it seems like a DARK LADY OF INSANITY shouldn't be scared of drunk people.

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Rosalind,

The author only wants us to answer the first five questions people post, but since when do we abide by the rules?

Well...we've never told anybody this, but when Cosette was five years old, we sold her soul to the devil. (We only got 400 francs, too-what a cheat!) At times she's a sweet, angelic, little girl, and at times she's posessed by evil demon spirits.

Yup.

And I know, right? People are like [insert mocking tone here], "You were so _mean_ to Cosette. Why were you so _mean_ to her?"

It's because she was posessed by evil demon spirits! Who could love a child posessed by evil demon spirits? Of course, it was our fault, but...

M. Mme. Thenardier

* * *

**A/N: Guess who's writing a totally ridiculous story called "The Phantom of the Barricade?" Not me, that's for sure. Heh heh. Heh heh. So totally _don't_ watch out for that in a couple of weeks.**

**Courfeyrac: IT'S THE PHANTOM OF THE BARRICADE! SHE'S HERE!**

**Oh, be quiet, Courf.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**Just because of the way Éponine abbreviates her name...**

**I mean, really. 'Vroche'. Does it sound as cool as Gavroche? No it does not. Why mess with perfection?**

**GAVROCHE WUZ HERE!**

* * *

Dear PurpleMissAliceWhitlock,

Jehan. Because of his teddy bearish-ness.

Eponine

* * *

Dear Preciousat,

(points at rating) K+! K+!

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Kitty,

Um...Enjolras isn't here right now.

Someone who isn't Enjolras

* * *

Dear Mormeril Dark Lady of Insanity,

Didn't mean to offend-I agree that alcohol is a terrible thing...it's just that I've grown rather immune to its effects after spending so much time around R.

Also-how exactly _do_ you torture someone with crocodiles? I want to know!

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Om,

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE I KNOW! He also played my precious icklekins Raoul at some point...So...if I kidnap him, I'll have all my loves in one place...*plots*...Mwahahahaha...

From...um...the Authoress...

P. S. Thankfully, this is such a messed-up parody that Marius doesn't have to sing...the Phantom of the Barricade (Eponine) is teaching him how to shoot...heaven knows he can't do anything himself...

* * *

**A/N: Happy Easter, y'all! I'm watching The Little Mermaid...Ariel is getting excited about forks...OOOH SHARK! And there's that seagull guy...I like him.**

**Um...yeah.**

**Also: I made a "The Scorpion or the Grasshopper: Which?" shirt...and it's amazing...only I feel like I'm betraying LM because I'm far more obsessed with it than with POTO, and I haven't made a shirt for it yet...well...OMG IT'S URSULA AND THE CREEPY DOLPHINS!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Didja miss me? Didja didja didja? I was at Girl Scout Camp...hurrah, hurrah...**

**As an apology for being so late, I am going to answer ALL THE QUESTIONS I WAS ASKED! YAY! And Om's is first...**

* * *

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**You seem to think Montparnasse and I are some sort of 'thing'. No, no, no. Just...no. **

**Sincerely,**

**Éponine.**

* * *

**Dear Psycho Authoress, **

**For the convenience of your readers, would you please include the questions in your replies so that we do not have to dig through the reviews?**

**And... **

**Dear Javert, **

**You need therapy, dude. **

**Sincerely, **

**Om who deeply dislikes autocorrect**

* * *

Dear Om,

Betcha can't figure out my answer to this one. So yay! Everyone will see your questions now, peoples. I didn't know people were actually reading _all_ the letters...but I shall do this from now on! This also means that any non-K+-rated letters will not be answered.

Preciousat, I'm looking at you.

From ze Psycho Authoress. Ooh, Psycho is a cool word. Oh, that rocks. Psycho Authoress. What were we talking about? Oh, right...

* * *

Dear Om,

YOU KNOW NOTHING OF JAVERT, OM. NOTHING. NOTHING. I'VE HAD A HARD LIFE AND I AIN'T GETTING THERAPY IF I DON'T WANT THERAPY.

As you were.

Javert And His Sideburns

P.S. My sister's iPhone autocorrects 'yeah' to 'indubitably'. Not Javert's sister. The PA's sister.

* * *

**Dear Jean Valjean:**

**Don't you find it rather...um...creepy to go up to a little girl in the woods and say SHOW ME WHERE YOU LIVE? What are your feelings towards bread (I mean, do you enjoy eating it, or just avoid it at all costs?). Do you have romantic feelings for Fantine (or anyone else)? What is your opinion of Enjolras' revolution? What do you do with your free time? And I recall something about you once shoving a red hot poker into your own arm-what exactly was the thinking there? I mean, why not shove it into someone else's arm and escape?**

**Regards, Elodie**

* * *

Dear Elodie . Haven,

I am determined to use your FULL NAME this time and not accidentally replace it with a blank space...

Well, she was obviously lost and I wanted to help her. Also, that's less creepy than saying, "Come with me, little girl, your mommy wants you to come with me,"...yah?

I don't really care... I eat black bread to remind me what an awful person I was. Oh, how wretched I am.

-insert ten pages of angst-

I do not have romantic feelings towards Fantine...mostly...heh heh. I barely knew her- like a few months where I made sure she didn't kick the bucket. I failed...oh, how wretched I am.

-insert fifteen pages of angst-

I do not approve of violence really, but I suppose I am with the revolutionaries...or...something...I dunno. I never really thought about it.

And with my free time I walk, but I love reading. And looking at my little girly! And remembering Fantine fondly. But I don't have a crush on her, no sirree.

I wanted to show them they couldn't hurt me into telling them where Cosette was. That's why I did the poker thing...perhaps I could've thought that out better...

From, JVJ

* * *

**Dear Enjy ( I love to annoy u) Hey nobody reads the reviews anyway! And I'm taking that as a yes... Silence means yes...Baby. (Sorry thats how the evil blonde twins talk)**

**(submitted by preciousat)**

* * *

Dear preciousat,

Apparently, some people do read the reviews...and, no.

EnjOLRAS

* * *

**Dear éponine, **

**How do you like your name to be spelled, with or with out the é? I looooooooove it with the é, cause that's how it would be said in french. Why won't you tell me some of your argot? I'm not the type of person to tell everybody, I can be trusted you know. Also I ment your voice is horse from drinking too much brandy. You've been hanging out with Grantaire way to much, don't you think? How good is your reading and writing skills? It says in Victor Hugo's novel that you can read at an okay pase? And lastly, if I were to play you on stage, how should I go about it?**

**(submitted by Eponine Jondrette)**

* * *

Dear Eponine Jondrette,

I do like my name to be spelled with the e-accent-aigu, on account of that is how my name is spelled.

Because the Psycho Authoress' translation of the Brick doesn't include argot, it just translates them straight to English.

Perchance I _have_ been hanging out with Grantaire too much. Sometimes I wonder why more people don't ship us...two cases of unrequited love...

Heck yeah! My reading and writing skills are EPIC! See this letter? There are no faults of orthography, you can check.

You should be an alto...and find a production of Les Mis near you...and audition...and make the director LOTS OF BROWNIES!

Eponine-who-the-authoress-is-too-lazy-to-type-out- the-accent-for

* * *

**Dear Enjolras, **

**What are your reasons for not being attracted to Éponine?**

**(submitted by Guest)**

* * *

Dear Guest,

ENJOLRAS IS NOT HERE. ENJOLRAS IS SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING THESE STUPID QUESTIONS ABOUT EPONINE. WHY DOES NOBODY CARE ABOUT THE REVOLUTION?

_Enjolras needs some sleep. Please don't take offense._

Enjolras _and The Psycho Authoress_

_P.S. Much of thanks for including the accent! Now I can copy it if I need to write Éponine's name again..._

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**

**Not to worry, I've dealt with worse, I was mostly just moody because I've been stuck inside with a seriously sprained ankle for over a week and thus unable to take my beloved long walks that help me stay calm and cheerful. As to crocodiles, I may or may not have decided that a good punishment would be forcing someone to cut out their own tongue - and hands - and then feed said body parts to crocodiles and then jump into the river with said crocodiles... But we were talking about nonexistant people, not real people. It was all entirely hypothetical people. And I only helped come up with that idea. Other people in my group were contributing as well. The fact that I was the only one giggling like a maniac means nothing.**

**Mormeril, the Dark Lady of Insanity**

* * *

Dear Combeferre,

We need to get some crocodiles.

Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Enjy (yes I am calling you that) **

**I know you are against the whole "relationship" thing but what exactly is wrong with Eponine?! **

**She is perfect for you don't you think? Be honest or I will keep pestering you! (Believe me I can b quite annoying) **

**And another thing, if you had to choose who would u ship: yourself and Eponine or you and R? **

**Oh and can I have the xylophone (your cool vest) **

**-Eponine T Daae**  
**PS do you prefer Eppie or Cosette and so I have permission to lock u in a room with your choice of girl?**

* * *

Dear Eponine T Daae,

First question: MRUGASDFHSKLD;JFA

Second question: PASODIUFAOJWEIR

Third question: ME AND PATRIA! ME AND PATRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Fourth question: The vest is miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

PS: Cosette because I am tired of the questions about Éponine. Also, Cosette cares about the poor...I mean, Éponine _is_ the poor, but...and, also, if you locked me in a room with Cosette, because of her being well-brought-up, I can be sure nothing would happen. So that helps.

Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Gavroche,**

**I just need to know: What's your height? **

**Yours, BlackRockShooter**

* * *

Dear BlackRockShooter,

Wouldn't _you_ like to know.

Gavroche

* * *

**Dear Marius,**  
**1. What would you have done if Eponine confessed her feelings to you before you met Cosette?**  
**2. Do you like cheese puffs?**  
**3. Do you miss Ponine?**  
**4. HOW COULD YOU NOT NOTICE THAT EPONINE LOVED YOU!? **  
**5. Do you visit her grave?**  
**6. What do you think of Eddie Redmayne?**

**(submitted by MariusxEponine3)**

* * *

Dear MariusxEponine3,

1. Hm. I actually met Cosette before I met Éponine...wait, are we talking book or musical or movie or what? This is hurting my brain.

2. Yes. Yes I do.

3. I guess...sorta...she was always nice to have around. Ya know. Like a cocker spaniel.

4. Éponine loved me?

5. I...don't think she had a grave...the National Guard just tossed them in a hole all together or something...

6. Wait, who is he? I've been trying to find out...people keep mistaking me for him...

* * *

**Question: Does it actually say in the Brick that Éponine is Montparnasse's mistress? Because some people say it does, but I just read it for the second time and didn't catch it...please tell me if you know. Haha, this chapter is, like, three times as long as all the others.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Another update! Oh, and my rules about ONLY-WRITE-TO-ONE-CHARACTER and ONLY-THE-FIRST-FIVE-LETTERS-WILL-BE-ANSWERED are basically going down the drain. I'm just having too much fun writing the letters.**

* * *

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**You probably don't recognize me. Sorry about that.**

**Spellcheck**

* * *

**Dear Joly (you have been ignored for too long),  
If you are afraid of germs why would you join a revolution? Dont you realize the germs in the air and infection. Someone was not thinking clearly...  
Eponine T Daae**

* * *

Dear Eponine T Daae,

The thing about air is that it's hard to avoid. And Enjolras can be very...persuasive...when trying to convince people to join the revolution.

Joly

* * *

**Dear Eponine,**  
**Why didnt you run away like Gavroche did? Can you please give Marius a piece of your mind I think he deserves it! Also who is your favorite (and you better not say Marius!)**

**Eponine T Daae**

* * *

Dear Eponine T Daae,

Cool name. Also. What the barricade. This library computer is putting completely random extra spaces in my document, and I'm too lazy to go back and fix them all...

Well, Gavroche didn't _run away_ so much as he was _kicked out_.

And I wuv Marius! Why would I chew him out? Of course he's my favorite!

Eponine

* * *

**Dear Joly,**  
**Two things,**  
**1) You know if you become a doctor you'd be around sick people A LOT right?**  
**2) You're a FREAKING MEDICAL STUNDENT! Why didn't you get off your butt and save Éponine!?**

**(submitted by SnowWhitex Prince Charming)**

* * *

Dear SWPC,

1) I want to CURE THE WORLD! Woohoo! And boy, am I popular today!

2)I...er...I'm a medical _student_! Not a doctor! It was too late!

* * *

**Dear Enjy and Eppy,**  
**Have you ever read E/E fanfiction?**

**(submitted by K)**

* * *

Dear K,

They refuse to answer to those names. So this is Jean Prouvaire, because nobody ever writes to me. :( Anyway, I don't think Enjolras cares about fanfiction's lonely soul, so, no. But I don't know about Éponine. :)

Remember your flowers! :) :)

-Jean [heart] (because idiot fanfiction thinks it's a link if I put (less than) and (3))

* * *

**Gavroche,**

**Will you be my boyfriend. I'm the same age as you, so it's definitely NOT creepy. Actually it says in the brick you could be eleven or twelve. Be twelve. That's my age.**

**Yours forever and always,**

******Eponine Elizabeth xxx**

* * *

Dear Eponine Elizabeth xxx,

Enjolras told me women are a waste of time, and he's _always_ right...

Gavroche

* * *

**Dear Enjy**  
**Would you marry Eponine if it could make world peace. Who do you like Gavroche or Eponine better?**

******(submitted by K)**

* * *

Dear K,

...only for world peace. And the Republic. And I like Gavroche better because he isn't always pining after Marius and PEOPLE AREN'T CONSTANTLY TRYING TO PAIR ME UP WITH HIM!

EnjOLRAS

* * *

**Dear Gavroche **  
**Why do you live in a elephant?**

**(submitted by K)**

* * *

Dear K,

Why _don't _YOU?

Gavroche

* * *

**Dear Cosette:**

**If you were forced into an arranged marriage with one of Les Amis (excluding Marius), who would you prefer to be paired with? As a child, were you more afraid of Thénardier or of his wife? Did you notice that Eponine was in love with Marius? If so, how did you feel about it? What is one thing you dislike about yourself? Do you have a favorite outfit? And why don't you clean up your garden a little bit? **

******Regards, Elodie**

* * *

Dear Elodie,

Hm...probably Enjolras. He's handsome and passionate and stuff.

The Thénardiess. She was, like SCARY.

Yeah...I _thought_ Marius would notice and straighten things out a bit, but he's oblivious about that sort of thing...

I dislike...hm. Wait a minute, the authoress is thinking. Huh. There's nothing bad about me, is there? I'm something of a Marie-Suzette, I guess.

I like...that one that Marius first noticed me in.

It has a WILD BEAUTY. Rawr.

Cosette.

* * *

**Dear Jean Valjean:**

**"no siree?" Sounds to me like you're in denial. Oh well, I won't push you...But seriously, go easy on yourself, all that angst cannot be good for your health.**

**What would you have done if Cosette had turned out bitter instead of being sweet? **

******Regards, Elodie**

* * *

Dear Elodie,

Denial? Pshaw! Heh heh. Nervous laughter? What's wrong with me? Oh, how wretched I am.

-insert five pages of angst. see, I'm cutting back!-

My sweetie-pie couldn't be anything but perfect.

JVJ

* * *

Dear Victoire Javert,

We said to stay K+. THE LAWR IS NOT MOCKED.

Javert

* * *

**Dear Courfeyrac,**  
**How do you feel about Jehan?**

**Darci**

* * *

Dear Darci?

The poet boy? LOL.

Courf.

* * *

**A/N: Most of the writers here have great spelling. There's just a few...**

**And go check out Elodie . Haven's story _Golden_. It rocks and it only has eight reviews. I get the feeling no one's reading it because it's Valjean/Fantine and the only thing people will read is Enjonine. Grr. But go read it, seriously.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**You know, ****_every_**** modern day fic doesn't have to take place in a coffee shop.**

**Much Love From**

**Les Amis.**

* * *

**Dear Jehan Prouvaire, **

**I was actually going to write to you, and I just decided to do it now! So, here we go. **

**1. Is it Jean or Jehan? (Personally, I like Jehan better, but hey, your choice.) **  
**2. What is your opinion on Dr. Suess? **  
**3. Do you have any regrets? (I REGRET NOTHING is an acceptable answer)**  
**4. Do you volunteer as tribute?**

**(submitted by Marcelle DuPont)**

* * *

Dear Marcelle,  
:) Thank you for writing! :)

It's Jean, but you can call me Jehan, I don't mind. :) They sound the same in French. I like Dr. Seuss, i suppose. Who doesn't? I don't regret anything. I got captured and faced the firing squad, but Vive la France, Vive l'aviner! Long live France, long live the future! Wait, I regret not studying for my first grade spelling test...yeah. :) :). And what am I volunteering for?

Flowers,

Jean Prouvaire :)

* * *

**Dear Courfeyrac and Combeferre,**  
**Would you ever date Eponine?**

**(submitted by PurpleMissAliceWhitlock)**

* * *

Sure!  
-Courf

Um, probably not.  
Combeferre

* * *

**Dear Gavroche **  
**I don't live in an elephant because it would be abnormal. Who do you like better Javert or Thenardier?**

**(submitted by K)**

* * *

K,

Elephants are AWESOME!

I hate them both. But I guess I like Javert better cuz of his sideburns.

Gavroche

* * *

**Dear Jean Prouvaire**

**Is Enjolras a real marble man? Who do you like better Gavroche or Courfeyrac?**

**(submitted by K)**

* * *

K,

First, yay! I have so many people writing to me! It makes me happy :). I suppose he is...but he doesn't appreciate poetry At All...):. I guess I like Gavroche better because Courfeyrac is always teasing me. ):

Love,

Jean Prouvaire

* * *

**Dear Courfeyrac,**

**What do you think about Eponine?**

**(submitted by Mormeril Dark Lady of Insanity)**

* * *

Dear MDLoS,

I dunno. She's kinda...mopey. Course, I'd still date her.

Courfeyrac

* * *

**Dear Éponine,**

**You and Derek the Whistle Boy are made for each other, no?**

**(submitted by Om)**

* * *

Dear Om,

Well, it's hard to tell. We've only been out on a couple of dates, but...I do like hanging out with him...

Éponine

* * *

**(A/N: Derek is...Derek is hard to explain. I'll copy the thing from our pro.**

**In the LM movie, there's a scene where an unnamed barricade boy wakes the barricade and warns them that the National Guard is coming by whistling. We, the fandom, have christened him Derek. (Don't ask why. Just go with it.) If you believe that Derek deserves more recognition for saving the barricade, copy and paste this into your profile. )**

* * *

**Dear Éponine,**

**What are your reasons for not being attracted to Enjolras?**

**(submitted by Guest)**

* * *

**Dear Inspector Javert,**

**I have a few questions for you:**

**1) Do you look/sound more like Russell Crowe or Phillip Quast (or another actor)? Personally, I think both have their merits. I'm just curious. Also, aren't you supposed to have a darker complexion and darker hair? I thought you were half gypsy... (By the way, that wasn't meant as an insult. I think it's great that you overcame societal norms to become the awesome inspector that you are.)**

**2) Considering the fact that Valjean spared your life, you must have SOME respect for him now. Could you ever see yourself speaking with him on civil terms...maybe not exactly as a friend but at least as a tolerable companion?**

**3) Just so you know, I really hate that you tried to kill yourself. You have so much to live for! I know you feel like you've lost your purpose after the situation with Valjean, but don't you think France still needs you? You are, after all, the most hard-working and dedicated man on the police force...**

**CaptainHooksGirl**

* * *

Dear CaptainHooksGirl

1. Norm Lewis! Duh!  
2. No.  
3. ...whatever. Obviously I'm incompetent if Valjean is a good man.

Javert

* * *

**Enjolras,**

**You dislike Èponine because she is poor, yet isn't that who you are trying to help? the poor? If so then I don't understand why in the world you dislike her. She's been through alot, her father's beatings, Marius' stupidity and blindness to her love, etc. Are you trying to say that if she was a Bourgeoisie you would like her? Wow, just wow. I mean if Cosette and Èponine switched places you would prefer 'Ponine over Cosette because she'd be a Bourgeoisie and Cosette would be a Gamine? If you say that's not the reason you dislike 'Ponine. Then is it because of the fact she always trails Marius in hopes that he'd notice her love for him? Then why would you care about that? Jealousy? **

**Very curious,**  
**Lise/ Fight Dream Hope Love 3**

* * *

Dear FDHL3,

Wow. Obviously I completely screwed up my answer last time. I was just sorting through their merits in my head...Cosette helps the poor...Èponine _is_ poor...that's a good thing! Yeah. Um. So. Sorry.

Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Gavroche,**  
**Who portrayed you better? Nick Jonas in the 2003 Broadway show or Daniel Huttlestone in the 2012 movie?**  
**Sincerely,**  
**Celestique**

* * *

Dear Celestique,

Robert Madge in the 25th anniversary concert. Actually, I have no idea; I've never seen any of them; the Psycho Authoress made me say that because she's in love with him as me.

Gavroche

* * *

**Gavroche - fine. Just friends?**

**Enjolras (yes I know you said only one but I couldn't resist. Anyway it's probably been done before but let's do it again for the sake of it) - WHO'S THERE?**

**Eponine Elizabeth xxx**

* * *

Dear Eponine Elizabeth.

SPANISH INQUISITION!

Hey, Courfeyrac, what are you doing at the computer? Hey. Courfeyrac? Courfeyrac! The...the Spanish...COURFEYRAC!  
G2G, EE. I've got to find some crocodiles and hunt down Courfeyrac.  
Enjolras

P.S. Gavroche says you are welcome to be his friend. Meetcha at the elephant at noon.

* * *

**Javert, have you ever considered, well, um...**

**GETTING A LIFE?!**

**Mina :)**

* * *

Dear Mina,

Who needs a life when you can have TEH LAWRR?

Javert

* * *

**i was wondering if i could ask Grandaire a couple of questions. **  
**1) how did you feel about George Blagden playing you in the movie?**  
**2) were you mad that they cut out alot of your lines for the movie?**  
**3) any les amis pairings that you support? (Personally i like Ee, couf/jehan, and m/c)**  
**4)im confused a little, in the book...it is said that you are extremly ugly, yet they had two EXTREMLY hot guys play you in the movie and in the play...soooo are you ugly or no? **  
**5) why do you drink? **  
**6) annnnnd, final question. Will you go to dinner with me sometime? ;)**  
**Muchove, Melody Saxon**

* * *

Melody,

1) I dunno. I didn't watch it...I was too busy being drunk...heh heh.

2) Heck yes! Courf told me about that. GIVE ME BRANDY ON MY BREATH AND I'LL BREATHE 'EM ALL TO DEATH!

3) I stated my ships a few chapters ago, and the authoress is too lazy to check what they were...I think one of them was Cosette/Javert.

4) Victor Hugo was just jealous of me. I'm totally hot!

5) Because I enjoy annoying Enjy!

6) Naw...I'll go drinking with you, though!

R

* * *

**Dear Azelma,**

**How do you feel about being cut out of the musical?**

**(submitted by EponineTheJondretteGirl)**

* * *

Dear My Sister,

SOMEBODY WROTE TO ME! SOMEBODY WROTE TO ME! SOMEBODY WROTE TO MEEEEE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA EVERYBODY LOVES ME!

Azelma

* * *

**A/N: I got up an hour early just so I could update this friggin story before school. You better thank me. Oh, and this entire chapter was written under the influence of "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" from Phantom of the Opera...that's why it's covered in tears. Wow. Emmy Rossum...just wow.**

_**Wishing I could sing as well as her...**_

_**Wishing I could sing that high...**_

**And OMG I ALMOST FORGOT! I HAVE 100 REVIEWS! YAAAAAAY! I feel loved. Congratulations, Om! You get...dunno. You get a cyber-milkshake of your choice and a hug from Derek. **

**VIVE DEREK! RAISE DEREK AWARENESS!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Blegh. I typed out half this chapter but then weird things happened and I have to start over again. :( Also, Dog Monday is making me cry (Derek-hugs if you know what book I'm reading) and YouTube won't let me watch the first episode of Psych. Mean.**

* * *

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**You shouldn't be spending so much time on your computers. You'll catch a virus.**

**From,**

**Joly.**

* * *

**R: seriously...Cosette and javer? Really? Wy?**  
**Jean: oter than Jehan, do you have any other nicknames?**  
**Couf: WAZZUP?! How are you today? Tell me about yourself**  
**Annnnnnnd...to all the les amis: any opinions n Derek**  
**Love, Melody Saxon**

* * *

Dear Melody,

I just think it's funny.

-R

* * *

Dear Melody,

Too many. Courfeyrac keeps coming up with them.

-JP/Shakespeare/Homedawg/Peanut Butter

* * *

Hey Mel! I'm doing awesome. I spent the morning with Marie, and lunch with Julie, and the afternoon with **Psych: The Complete First Six Seasons**.

-Courfeyrac

* * *

Dear Melody,

Derek is the coolest thing since peanut butter.

-Les Amis

* * *

**Dear Fantine:**

**How did you end up with your locket (just curious because it wasn't in the book)? Where was Cosette while you were off having fun with your friends? What would you do if you met Felix in the afterlife? Why did you decide to leave your child with a woman you met on the roadside? If a genie offered you 3 wishes, what would you wish for?**

******(submitted by Elodie . Haven)**

* * *

Dear Elodie . Haven,

Felix gave the locket to Cosette on her first birthday. He was nice so much of the time...

Where Cosette was...um...the authoress was actually totally wondering that last night as she read the Brick.

I would...sadly, I would probably run away crying.

Because she had kids. Everyone with children is nice, non?

1. That that woman would have given me, like, 500 francs for that locket.

2. That Cosette and I would be together forever.

3. This one's private. But it shares an astonishingly similar plot to _Golden_.

-Fantine

* * *

**dear Eponine and Enjolras, **

******just wondering, do both of you get along in afterlife? I mean, you two shared the same traits as a rebel and stubborn. you should be a friend at least (or probably dating in the future?) *wink**

* * *

Enjolras? I...I think you've mutilated that letter enough. No one's going to be able to read it now. Enjolras? Put the gun down and take a deep breath.

-Eponine

* * *

**Dear Derek,**  
******Why did I never really hear about you until this chapter?**

**(submitted by Mormeril Dark Lady of Insanity)**

* * *

Dear MDLoI,

Sadly, I...am not...exactly canonic. I sort of am. I'm in the movie, but...the fandom christened me. We're trying to convert the fandom to Derek-ism!

-Derek

* * *

**Azelma,**

**Remind me NEVER to write to you EVER again. Like, ever.**

******(submitted by EponineTheJondretteGirl)**

* * *

Dear EponineTheJondretteGirl,

YOU WROTE TO ME AGAIN!1!1! EVERYBODY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES ME!

-Azelma

* * *

**Gavroche - I BROUGHT COOKIES!**

**Èppy Liz**

* * *

Dear Èppy Liz,

I LOVE COOKIES! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIES!

-Gavroche

* * *

**OK, Javert - in this hypothetical situation where there IS NO LAWR, the would you consider GETTING A LIFE!**

**The law will always be there is not an acceptable answer. Nor is suicide.**

******Mina :)**

* * *

Dear Mina,

Suggesting a world where the lawr does not exist? JAIL!

-Javert

* * *

**Oh - and Javert? You can't spell.**

******Mina :)**

* * *

Dear Mina,

I CAN TOO SPEL.

-Javert

* * *

**Dear Les Amis,**  
**Who would win in a drinking contest, Grantaire or Eponine?**  
******-Darci**

* * *

Dear Darci,

R.

-Enjolras

* * *

Dear Darci,

Èponine.

-Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Jehan, Bahorel, Bossuet, Joly, and Feuilly

* * *

**Dear éponine,**  
******What were you like as a chold when it came to Cosette did you order her around and when she didn't do somethign you wanted, did you make a big deal about it like crying and running to your mother? Over all were you nice to people as a child? In the brik it doesn't really tell us much about when you were younger. In the chapter where Cosette gets a hold of your doll Azelma is the one who sees her playing with it and she didn't even make a big deal about it. Why is that? Also it doesn't tell us in the brik when your family lost the inn. When did you all lose the inn? What does it say in the brik about that? If you mom and dad couldn't or wouldn't give you what you wanted did you have a fit? How many teeth did you have in the brik? It doesn't relly tell us so that's why I'm asking. How tall are you in the brk? Again, it never says how tall you really are. Thanks!**

**(submitted by Eponine Jondrette)**

* * *

Dear Eponine Jondrette,

In the Brick (Brick has a 'c') it actually says I was cruel to her. Because 'children at their age are only copies of their mother'. Or something. The authoress' headcanon, on the other hand, is a different thing entirely.

We lost it because people started noticing that all of their possessions seemed to randomly disappear while staying at the inn.

For a while after we lost our money, I would pitch a fit, but...eventually I got used to it.

Why do you want to know how many teeth I have? What do you even plan to do with that information? That's...incredibly creepy.

How tall I am? See answer to last question.

-Èponine

* * *

**Jean Prouvaire,**

**Who would you say you're most like: Emily dickenson or Shakespeare?**

**(submitted by Om)**

* * *

Dear Om,

Don't make me choose!

-Jean Prouvaire

* * *

**Dear Enjolras**

******People say you are made of marble and I truly believe that. BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR THE AWESOME EPONINE! Why do you not have feelings for her?!**

* * *

Back away slowly from the letter, Enjolras. Back away...slowly...

-Èponine

* * *

**Dear Jean Prouvaire,**

**Can you write a poem about Enjolras and Eponine? Thanks! **

**-MyNameIsLuka**

* * *

Dear MyNameIsLuka,

I wrote TWO! Tell me which one you like better.

UNSEEN:

Blond head, brown head  
Across the room  
One loved too much  
One not at all  
Bright eyes laugh  
But don't see  
The other.  
The god and the gamine  
They will  
Soon.  
The poet, unseen  
In the corner  
He knows  
What they do not  
He sees  
And waits  
For them to know

STONE:

He was the Marble Man,  
She unpolished diamond.  
They walked alone,  
But died  
For what they believed in,  
And in the end  
Thats all that seemed  
To matter.

-JP

* * *

**Gavroche - I get that elephants are awesome and all that, but... Why an elephant? Why not, I dunno, a rhinoceros? Or a lion? Or a sausage dog? Because sausage dogs have shorter legs, so it wouldn't be that hard to shimmy up them. And it wouldn't be such a palaver to get two other boys in. Which would save time. Which would give you five or so more minutes of your life to do stuff. Like eat cookies. Or chocolate brownies. So, um, yeah. Living in a sausage dog would give you more time to eat brownies and cookies.**

**Eppy Liz**

* * *

Dear Eppy Liz,

You obviously don't grasp the degree of awesomeness an elephant holds.

-Gavroche

* * *

**Courfeyrac**  
**Is there anyone you'd never date?**

******(submitted by Guest)**

* * *

Dear Guest,

My mother. And Rebecca Black.

-Courfeyrac

* * *

**Dear Èponine and Grantaire,**

**I ship you guys.**

**(submitted by 35712)**

* * *

Dear 35712,

Wow. Usually nobody ships _either_ of us with anybody but Enjolras! Thank you!

-Èponine and Grantaire

P.S. THANK YOU.

-Enjolras

* * *

**A/N: Lucky Courfeyrac. Gets to watch Psych. WHY CAN'T I WATCH PSYCH?**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I SAW INTO THE WOODS LAST NIGHT. YOU WERE WARNED.**

**Eppy Liz. Eppy Liz, Eppy Liz, Eppy Liz. This chapter is dedicated to you because your review made me so, so, happy. I think I might have cried. Thank you. You also get a Derek-hug, and I even convinced _Gavroche_ to hug you, since you seem to like him. (Just a bit) **

* * *

**Dear Enjolras:**  
**What do you do with your time now that you're in heaven where there's no government to overthrow (or is there a government to overthrow)? What do you think of Cosette independent of her effect on Marius? What was your childhood like? What is your greatest fear? If a genie gave you 3 wishes, what would you wish for? (Yes I really like that question). Regards, Elodie**

* * *

Dear Elodie,

Hm. Well, overthrowing the government in heaven would be trying to get rid of God. Somebody already tried that and it didn't go too well, so I mostly spend my time playing chess with Combeferre.

She's...pretty...I guess? And rather nice...I don't know! I never really met her.

My childhood was normalish. I was rich 'n stuff.

My greatest fear is that France will never become a democracy.

1. I wish! More than anything, I wish! More than life! More than jewels! The king is having a festival! I wish to go to the festival! The psycho authoress is done now, so...

2. France becoming a democracy.

3. That the stupid FANFICTION WRITERS would stop trying to pair me up with ÉPONINE!

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Enjorlas,**  
**1. How are you today?**  
**2. Do you know you are insanely hot?**  
**3. I KNOW this is a statement, but two thumbs up for grammar.**  
**4. I know being a revolutinary is the right thing, but it would have been easier to be obedient and following the law?**  
**5. How much money was your red coat?**  
**6. Do you enjoy the abosolute awesome qualities of Harry Potter?**  
**7. Since this this is composed of many questions and I have not mentioned I what ship, may I please call you Enjy?**

**Love (and Vive la France!),**  
******Meredith**

* * *

Dear Meredith,

1. Very well. Thank you for asking. 'Course, I'm dead, but...

2. I...have been told that by many people.

3. Thank you? I guess?

4. Well, yeah. [YOU SPELLED IT WRONG! YOU SPELLED LAWR WRONG!] No one cares, Javert. Go back to your pole.

5. It was a gift. Patria gave it to me on our first anniversary.

6. I can't say that I do.

7. Fine; you can call me that ONCE because you spelled my name wrong.

-Enjolras

* * *

Dear Victoire Javert,

WE TOLD YOU TO STAY K+. THERE ARE KIDS READING THIS.

-The Kinda-Ticked-Off-Psycho-Authoress

* * *

**Dear Grantaire,**

**WHY IS YOUR NICKNAME R?! Your name starts with a G and I can't think of another student who has a name that starts with a G. Oh yeah can any of the amis play any instruments?**

******(submitted by SnowWhitex PrinceCharming)**

* * *

Dear SnowWhitex PrinceCharming (He's a very NICE prince...)

Really? Do NONE of you people understand puns? Fine. "Aire" is How you pronounce the lettre "r" in french. "Grand"=big big=capital. Thus, "Grand r"= Big r, = Capital r, = R. And as a side note, Victor Hugo originally named me Grangé, so that my nickname could be G. Y'a know, "Grand g" (g is prounounced jeh). So yah. And Jean Prouvaire plays flute and I think Enjy sings in the shower (heehee).

-Grantaire

* * *

**Dear EVERYONE!**

**What do you guys think about... Javert/Eponine? :D**

******Star**

* * *

Dear StarCatcher 1858,

Everyone else has run away screaming, but welcome to my personal favorite ship!

-Psycho Authoress

P.S. You may or may not have been bored enough to read our profile, so you may or may not know that there are two of us on this account. Anyway, I have been reminded by my Hyde-half (does that make me Jekyll?) to inform you that Javonine is ABSOLUTELY CREEPY AND DISGUSTING.

* * *

**R: while i daadmit that it is extremly funny, it is also rather creepy...just a tad**  
**Jehan: annnnnd im totally calling you peanut butter now XD it is tottalt adorible**  
**Couf: how did u come up with peanut butter as a nickname? How does that even make any sense? Oh and would you rather take a girl to dinner or a movie for the first date?**  
**Enjolras: i know its a touchy subject, but i dont understant why you keep putting guns to any letters posing questions about you and 'ponine togther. Its a bit childish**  
**annnd finally, to jehan: how does it feel being the youngest les ami?**  
**Much love, Melody Saxon**

* * *

Dear Melody,

Hmph.

-R

Hmph.

-Jehan

It's a secret, but, as you said, totally adorable. What's a movie?

-Courfeyrac

I was raised to be charming, not sincere. **(I know that didn't make any sense; I just wanted to quote that line)**

-Enjolras

We are all equals in ZE REVOHLOOSEEON! That's what Enjolras says, anyway.

-Jehan. Did you realize you wrote to me twice?

* * *

**Dear Bossuet,**

**What was your worst case of bad luck?**

**Darci**

* * *

Dear Darci,

I...don't want to talk about it.

-Bossuet

* * *

**Eponine,**

**Is it Èponine or Éponine?**

**Darci**

* * *

Dear Darci,

It's Éponine...sorry...the Psycho Authoress is just copying the accents from her kind reviewers and doesn't really pay attention to them...

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Eponine**

**WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR THE BRAVE ENJOLRAS! Why don't you have feelings for him?! Come on look at his face!**

**Sincerly **

******K**

* * *

Dear K,

He's HANDSOME but I'm not in LOVE WITH HIM. Can't you just accept that already?

-Éponine (thanks for the accent, Darci :D)

* * *

**Dear Derek,**

**Are you sad that you aren't real?**

******(submitted by Om)**

* * *

Dear Om,

I AM TOO REAL. Hmph. I WAS IN THE MOVIE.

-Derek

* * *

**Azelma,**

**GAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

******(submitted by EponineTheJondretteGirl)**

* * *

IKR? I managed to get to this letter before Azelma did. We have to put up with that ALL THE TIME.

-Éponine

* * *

**Gavroche - I do get elephants are awesome! It's just... I like cookies. So I would sacrifice the elephant in favour of the sausage dog if it meant I had more time to eat cookies. Just sayin'.**

******Eppy Liz**

* * *

Eppy Liz,

I would say we can't be friends, but the Psycho Authoress won't let me because she's still crying over your review. So...let's agree to disagree.

-Gavroche

* * *

**Dear Javert,**

**I MAY BE IN PRISON BUT YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION!**

**Innit.**

******Mina (:**

* * *

Dear Mina,

Fine. Whatever. I'll consider getting a life.

-Javerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt

* * *

**Dear Azelma,**

**Have a cookie (: :)**

**:)**

******SociallyAwkwardUnicorn**

* * *

DEAR SOCIALLY AWKWARD UNICORN (LOL I LOOOOOOOVE YOUR NAME HAHAHAHA)

SUGAR! I LOVE SUGAR! MY PARENTS AND MY SISTER DON'T LET ME HAVE IT! THEY'RE SO MEAN! BUT YOU LOOOOVE ME CUZ YOU WROTE TO ME EVERYBODY LOOOOOOOOOOOOVES ME

AZELMA

* * *

**Dear Éponine,**

**On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you about the fics giving you the happy ending with Marius?**

******SociallyAwkwardUnicorn**

* * *

Dear SociallyAwkwardUnicorn,

Ten. THEY know what should have happened.

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear éponine,**  
**I'm sorry for the bluntness of the question about your teeth. Let's try this a different way... **  
******Did you have enough teeth to be able to eat foods that were hard and needed to really be, uh, chewed? In the brick it says that you are taller then Azelma but it never tells us how tall you are? Before you lost the inn would you ever have a fit if you couldn't do, or get something from a guest or from your mother and father? In what ways were you mean to Cosette? I don't think it was like you were playing copy cat in the fact if you mother said or did something you would say the same thing? You coppied her in the way of just being mean to Cosette and treating her the way your mother and father did, right? Can you give me some examples of how you were mean to Cosette? It doesn't really tell in the brick. The reason why I'm wondering how you were like as a child is because if you have ever seen the tv show Little House On the Prairie and saw Nelly Olsin, you would know what I'm talking about. I guess what I'm trying to ask, is were you like that to Cosette and everyone around you?**

******(submitted by Eponine Jondrette)**

* * *

Dear EponineJondrette,

I have some teeth. Again, what do you plan to do with this information? And I was mean to her like ordering her around or something.

-Éponine

* * *

**To Gavroche:**

**What would you do if you saw an ELEPHANT eating a COOKIE?**

**(submitted by Guest)**

* * *

Dear Guest,

Ooh. Exciting thought.

-Gavroche

* * *

**Enjolras,**  
**If you could hit one person on the head and tell them "Get a life!" or "Shut up!", etc. Who would it be? and what will you use to hit the person with and what will you tell him/her?**

**(submitted by Fight Dream Hope Love 3)**

* * *

Dear FDHL3,

Hit R on the head with my flag and say Grantaire, put the bottle DOWN!

-Enjolras

* * *

**Azelma and Gavroche,**  
**PLEASE I BEG OF YOU MAKE ENJONINE REAL I WILL PAY YOU 1 million francs and cookies and food! xD (I mean it)**

******(submitted by Celestique)**

* * *

Um...Enjolras won't let us read your letter...I feel like Harry Potter.

-Gavroche

YOU WROTE TO ME! YOU WROOOOOOOTE TO MEEEE! YOU LOOOOOVE ME!

-Azelma

* * *

**Dear Eponine:**

** What is the most valuable thing you have ever stolen? What are you most afraid of? Do you prefer being paired with Javert or with Enjolras in fanfiction?**

** -Anne**

* * *

Dear Anne,

First question: Not telling; Javert's listening.

Second question: Not telling; Gavroche's listening.

Third question: Javert, because it breaks the monotony.

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Javert, **

**You chase Valjean so much, are you gay towards him?**

******(submitted by PurpleMissAliceWhitlock)**

* * *

MASFODPWEHFPICDSNKMFERA4JDCUVX ICXKDJN6UY67G5HUT7JUSVCNDKLXM;D,ESKRWO

NO.

-Javert

* * *

**Dear Jean Prouvaire, **

**Great job! I liked both. Now, can you try writing one about them being um... Canoned? That would be so awesome. **

**-MyNameIsLuka **

******P.S.-I am Japanese, but I know a certain amount of French. You're French, right? I mean, THIS IS LES MIS.**

* * *

Dear MyNameIsLuka,

Why, yes, I am French. Not sure what you mean by 'canoned', though...do you mean, that it's canon that they're there together? The authoress wants to update tonight, let's see if she can come up with something on the spur of the moment...

There was a man named Vicky who

said, "I want to write a book, I do!"

The main man was named Jean Valjean,

he started out being a con.

But no one cared about his soul-

no, _they _strived towards a larger goal.

(That was, the part with the Amis)

they said, "Victor, don't kill them-please?"

His daughter asked him, "Please, Papa,

Make Eponine kiss Enjolras!"

Now, Vicky had written this book

Mainly about Jean the crook

But one look at his cute li'l kid,

and he changed the story-line, he did!

Enjy beat the National Guard

And then he kissed Eponine, hard!

The epic tale of redemption was gone

and in its place, the Amis lived on.

So the moral of this story, Luke

Is if this poem just makes you puke

Remember it was written in

about five minutes, at (p.m.) ten

By a girl who they don't call

the psycho authoress for nothing, y'all!

She's not sure whether Vick had a daughter

But now she wants a glass of water!

She is running out of rhymes,

and this poem's hardly sublime.

Jehan's cringing as he wonders

while she commits poetic blunders

Why he let her have the pen

for five minutes at (p.m.) ten

Yes, I already used that line

Do not hit me with your carbine!

And why isn't this poem just DONE?

Because I'm having lots of fun!

If you're tired of reading this drivel,

go into the corner and snivel!

Don't blame me, just blame

that Guest who calls themselves MyName

IsLuka, for prompting me to write

A poem at ten-o'-clock at night.

Which isn't that late of a time,

but it sure has a lot of rhymes!

I'm almost done-I think I am-

for dinner I did not have ham!

Did you have ham when you dined today?

Oh dear, not another tangent-

**JUST STOP ALREADY, PSYCHO AUTHORESS!**

Gosh, Jehan! What's your deal?

Did _you_ have ham with _your_ meal?

**I'M DOING YOU A FAVOR. LIKE YOU WERE GOING TO BE ABLE TO FIND A RHYME FOR 'TANGENT'. JUST END THE STUPID LETTER.**

Fine, but I'm signing it Peanut Butter!

That'll teach you to throw me in the gutter!

Here we go, the letter's done-

for realsies this time! I'm even going to stop rhyming!

-Peanut Butter

* * *

**Dear Azelma,**

**Do you think your older sister looks cute with Enjolras?**

******(submitted by Guess Who)**

* * *

DEAR GUESS WHO

WHO CARES ABOUT HER? I THINK _I_ LOOK CUTE WITH ENJOLRAS!

-AZELMA

* * *

**Dear Javert,**  
** Your voice sounds like you have snot while your pooping. In general, your voice is UGLY. And if you think you can spell, your so wrong. You spell worse then I do. I use to spell orphan as orffin.**

******(submitted by Guess Who)**

* * *

Dear Guess Who,

What_ever_. No, I do _not_ sound like a teenage girl, Valjean. Shut up.

-Javert

* * *

**Dear Derek, **

**So, basically you're the Les Mis version of Figwit from LotR?**

******(submitted by Mormeril Dark Lady of Insanity)**

* * *

Dear MDLoI,

I have no idea. I could do a google search, but that would be Doing Something Productive. Let's assume the answer is yes.

-Derek

* * *

**A/N: You guys could have had this update nineteen minutes earlier were it not for the time I spent on that poem! But if you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it, it was worth it. I want to make some joke about nineteen minutes and nineteen years. Mlpoiweafjdcs. My mind is dead. Does anybody have a good one?**

**-The Psycho Authoress, and Derek. And another HUGE THANK YOU to Eppy Liz, and allllllllllllllll of my wonderful readers who apparently think these letters are funny enough to want to have their own answered. I've gotten fifty reviews on the last two chapters! I love you guys!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I'm ba-ack! But before we begin, some shameless adverting on my part! **

**I stayed home sick yesterday...and published not one, not two, but THREE fics. Whoo-hoo! One of them is called "One Burst of Light" and...I can't say anything about without giving away the plot. But it is NOT (not, I say) completely ridiculous! Next is "Captain Billy Joe Sebastian Mercutio Cullen de Chagny"...much of the same insanity you find inside these letters. Last and probably least is "Harry Valharry and the Weirdest Production of Les Mis Ever." Starring Harry Potter as Valjean, Snape as Javert, and Voldemort as the Bishop...what could *possibly* go wrong? So check those out, okay? Okay. Into the fic...to go to my grandmother's house!**

**Whoops, almost forgot. I forgot the "regular" letter last chapter, and nobody commented on it, so I assume that Nobody Really Cares. So they will no longer be appearing. Which is good, 'cause I was running out of ideas.**

* * *

**Enjolras**

**mean... and why were you looking at that letter in the first place?**

**(submitted by Celestique)**

* * *

Dear Celestique,

Yeah, he reads everybody's mail...but we read _his_ this time! So ha.

-Everybody

* * *

Dear Fight Dream Hope Love 3,

Your letter didn't seem particularly non-K+ to me, but FanFiction starred part of it out, so...

-Psycho

* * *

**Dear Enjolras**  
** Do you still remember me? Just wait for me there in Heaven... Oh I have a confession to say.*sigh* I..stalk Aaron all day everyday (duh he's hot acting as you) *sticks tongue out* I don't love you now! Joking.. I heard that you have a mistress. Is it true?**

******(submitted by preciousat)**

* * *

Dear preciousat,

I do remember you...much to my own sorrow. My METAPHORICAL mistress is Patria. Deal.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Derek,**

**Since you don't know, Figwit's a random elf thrown into the LotR films who originally had no name. The fans of that fandom named him Figwit (Frodo Is Great, Who Is That).**

******(submitted by Mo****rmeril, Dark Lady of Insanity)**

* * *

Dear MDLoI,

Cool! I wonder if one day _I'll_ be that famous...well, Psycho's doing an okay job of spreading the word! And yeah, I guess I am like that. When first I appear I seem delirious, but when explained, I'm nothing serious! **(Oh dear...I though I had gotten the Into the Woods out of my system)**

Derek

* * *

**Peanut butter: yes dearie, i know i wrote to you twice...i couldent think of anything else to say. Now, question time! **

**Couf: never mnd on the movie thing...ummm, describe the pirfect first date **

**Charming(AKA Enjolras): ummm, describe each of the les amis in one word **

**Les amis: i want each of you (including derek) to answer the question i asked couf **

**peanut butter: make up nicknames for each of the les amis **

**Eponine: why is Azelma so spazzy? **

**marius: have you, in fact, ever seen a ghost ? **

**Finally...Jolllly: describe your fearless leader in 5 words **

**I know these are all challanges...but i ran out of questions **

**********love Melody Saxon**

* * *

Dear Mel (can I call you Mel, hon?)

It wouldn't matter where we went...as long as it was with _you_. *suave grin*

-Courfeyrac

* * *

Dear Melody,

Joly-Irritating

Bossuet-Irritating

Marius-SuperSUPERirritating

Grantaire-RIDICULOUSLY IRRITATING

Jehan-Irritating

Courfeyrac-Irritating

Combeferre-Irritating

Bahorel-Irritating

Feuilly-Irritating

Derek-Ridiculouslyamazing (as anyone would say)

-Enjolras, who has Had a Bad Day

* * *

Dear Melody,

Enjolras doesn't let us go out on dates. Except for Courf, who he admits is incorrigible.

Les Amis

* * *

Dear Mel,

That's MY job! So I've stolen Jehan's letter. A lot of that seems to happen in this fic, doesn't it? Come to think of it, that happens a lot in just plain LES MIS. But anyway.

Enjolras-Dillamond

Courfeyrac (MEEEEEEE)-Tholly

Combeferre-Annabeth

Jean Prouvaire-PEANUT BUTTER!

Feuilly-Warsaw

Grantaire-Taylor Swift

Bahorel-Dumbledore

Bossuet-Sparky

Marius-Emoticon

Derek-WillowTree

Dude. The scary thing is, there were legitimate reasons for most of those. If you ask, I'll give you a lengthy explanation next chapter. :D

-Courfeyrac

* * *

Dear Melody,

Why not?

-Éponine

* * *

Dear Melody,

As a matter of fact, I connect with the "spirit world" on a fairly regular basis, and while my cover story is a lawyer, I am actually a professional psychic. Talking to ghosts is a very pleasurable experience, which apparently gives me the exact same look as I had the first time I saw Cosette.

Go figure.

-Marius

* * *

Dear Melody,

Positive Things Or I'll Die.

-Joly

* * *

**Dear Enjolras, **

**No offense, but your anime version looks like a girl.**

**Dear R, **

**Please arrange the following according starting from your most preferred beverage to the least: Tequila, sake, soju, absinth, mekong, lambanog, whiskey, carrot juice**

**(submitted by Thornspike)**

* * *

Dear Thornspike,

Looked it up and I agree.

-Enjolras

* * *

Dear Thornspike,

No idea what most of those are, but absinthe is first and carrot juice is last!

-Grantaire

* * *

**Dear Marius, **

**What if Eponine didn't die? **

**How could you not notice she liked you? **

**Why did you cry for a little when she passed... Then read Cosette's letter literally 10 seconds after?**

**(submitted by MariusxEponine3)**

* * *

Dear MariusxEponine3,

She wouldn't have died, I guess.

She...liked me? Huh. Ya learn something new every day.

"The heart of man is so constituted that the unhappy child had hardly closed her eyes when Marius began to think of unfolding this paper." Yeah...I was kind of a jerk when I was young and in the Brick. But then I grew up and became Eddie Redmayne!

-Marius

* * *

**Dear Marius, **

**Since you are friends with Eponine, didn't you realize that she was in love with you? And please describe Cosette in your own words. Thank you**

******(submitted by Chanty 420)**

* * *

Dear Chanty 420,

Wow. A whole bunch of people seem to think 'Ponine's in love with me, so I guess it's true.

Cosette is an angel sent on this planet to help out my poor soul. Radiance springs from her every pore and it hurts my eyes to look at her, but heals them instantly. Her hair is as brown as a rich, deep, chocolate, laced with strands of gold that is as pure as her soul. Her eyes, too, show her soul in a depth that is not found in any other blue. She is as generous as it is possible to be, and her heart is struck with agony **(AGONY! THOUGH IT'S DIFFERENT FOR EACH!)** every time she sees a child who has not had enough to eat. Her name-Cosette, Cosette!-each letter as perfect as the next, and better than the one before. Everything she does, she does with a simple grace, and I cannot think of anything I would rather do than simply watch her sit and think. Her kisses are as sweet as strawberries and my heart bursts with joy to look at her.

Derek-hugs if you read that whole paragraph.

-Marius

* * *

**Dear Eponine, **

**1. Since when did you meet Marius? **

**2. Did you have feelings for him the moment you met him? **

**3. Who are those who are allowed to call you 'Ponine? **

**and 4. Your so pretty! I wish we could be friends:)**

******(submitted by Chanty 420)**

* * *

Dear Chanty 420,

1. When my father sent me next door to...um...*blushes*

2. Duh. Who wouldn't?

3. Anyone, really. You can, if you want.

4. Aw, thanks! Now you definitely can. And sure! We'll be besties!

-Éponine

* * *

**Gavroche - Let's agree to disagree. Whatvever. But, after that weed debate - what do you like more? Elephants or cookies? Because someone asked me once: What do you like more? Cookies or Gavroche?**

** And I was like: HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME?**

** (Yes, I rank you on the same level as cookies. Don't be offended. I rank cookies very high.)**

** And she was like: Personally I prefer Enjolras-**  
** But she was cut off by me going: AAAAAAARRGGGGHHHH!**

** Anyways, that went in for sometime until she left, so I didn't have to choose. But seriously - cookies or elephants?**

****** Eppy Liz (:**

* * *

Dear Eppy Liz,

Elephants. Now and forever. But if you have any cookies to give me, that would be awesome.

Gavroche

******(EHMAGERSH! I was listening to the Original French Concept Album and I understood a line! I did! "Bonjour, Paris, c'est moi, Gavroche!" And I was like: SQUEEEEEE! So anyway. Um. Why did I feel the need to share that with you? I dunno. It...sort of pertains to Gavroche? -Psycho)**

* * *

**Dear Victor Hugo,  
Why do you feel the need to be so descriptive? And so RANDOM? I do not need 80ish pages of description of a bishop? I do not need a recount of Waterloo - or a history of the sewers? Just... No...**

**EponineTheJondretteGirl IN EXILE!**

* * *

Cher EponineTheJondretteGirl,

Avant de commencer à répondre à la question principale, vous adresser à votre lettre, je dois commenter un fait assez remarquable! Vous voyez, il ya une similitude entre nous, je ressens le besoin de souligner! Nous avons tous les deux été en «exil», comme vous l'appelez. Pour la dernière partie de ma vie, j'ai été emprisonné sur une île quelque part! Parce que j'avais fait quelque chose à quelqu'un colère et ... ouais, Psycho n'est pas vraiment clair sur les détails. Mais cela montre une certaine similitude dans nos âmes, et -

**(SHUT THE HECK UP, VICTOR! WE DON'T NEED NINETY PAGES OF THIS DRIVEL THAT NOBODY CAN READ ANYWAY, AND IF THEY CAN IT PROBABLY MAKES NO SENSE BECAUSE GOOGLE TRANSLATE DOES A CRAPPY JOB OF TRANSLATING STUFF! I'M ENDING THE STUPID LETTER.)**

Victor Hugo et **(PSYCHO!)**

* * *

**Dear Les Amis, **

**In the Philippines, one of their heroes (Andres Bonifacio, I think) was inspired by Les Misérables, and also started a revolution against the Spaniards. And GUESS WHAT? He also failed. Then the Philippines was conquered by America after the Treaty of Paris. **

**-MyNameIsLuka**

* * *

Dear MyNameIsLuka,

Um... Maybe you shouldn't have mentioned that...Enjolras is speechifying about the "new and glorious future" that we can "inspire and be proud to Die for"...um...yah. But that's kinda cool, ya know? Yah...heh. Enjy just said "it is our duty to the Republic"...he said duty...Enjolras just said DOODY...XD **(WAY TO BE MATURE, COURF)**

Courfeyrac

* * *

**Azelma: I WROTE TO YOU**

** I WROOOOOTE TOOOO YOUUU **

**I mean, I don't see why you get so up and excited about stuff like that. Everyone's equal when they're dead. **

**Gavroche: You're cool. Here's a cookie and a couple francs. Just for being cool. VIVE LA FRANCE. **

**Enjolras: Hi. Vive la France, just like I told Gavroche. What's your favorite color? Mine is red, like the blood of angry men. I am totally for the people. WHERE IS THE KING WHO RUNS THIS SHOW?! **

**Eponine: Date Enjolras. **

**Marius: I hate you. **

**Cosette: Ditto to Marius. **

**-How d'you do, my name's JC. These are my people, here's my patch. Not much to look at, nothing posh, nothing that you call up to scratch.**

* * *

Dear JCBoLt,

AAAAH I AM SO HAPPPPYYYY! AND GUESS WHATA HEH IHEE I JJSUT GOOT COCA COOOOLA! ANSDD IT'S WONDERFULLL! AND I DIDNT DIE SO THERRE! AAAAAAAHHHHH! COCAAAAA COLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAA! JE T'AIME, COCA COLA!

-AZELMA!

* * *

Thanks!

-Gav

* * *

RED.

AND THE FLUFFING KING ISN'T HÈRE. WE WANT TO GUILLIOTINE HIM.

-Enjolras

* * *

Um, please excuse Enjolras...he has had à bad day...he got a letter that was...bad...

-Combeferre (who NOBODY writes to...)

* * *

No! I REFUSE.

-Éponine

* * *

Why? Why does EVERYONE hate us just for falling in love and not dying? D'YA THINK MARIUS WENT TO THE FLUFFING BARRICADE WITH THE INTENTION OF LIVING? NO! BLÂME PAPA IF YOU MUST! :(

-Cosette and Marius

* * *

**Dear Enjy, **

**That was my one time, wasn't it? **  
** Anyway, I'm sorry about spelling your name wrong and all. I am on a mobile device (which I won't bother explaining, because if you are in Heaven, you would know such things.) and that impairs my writing by a lot. Also, regarding your reply to someone else ( believe it was someone names Elodie) but France is a democracy now. And by the way, I know you aren't romantically involved with Eponine, and more people should accept that, but are you guys at least friends? **  
** Sincerely, Meredith **

******P.S. Tell Javert to shut up about the law, and if he doesn't he admits to liking Jean Valjean in a romantic fashion.**

* * *

Dear Meredith,

Yah. Democracy ROCKS! And we're friends, because we had to BAND TOGETHER against all the people who WANT US TO DATE (You have turned our friends against us, Enjonine shippers! Our closest friends!) And, um...we hang out a lot...and sometimes eat dinner together...but that doesn't mean anything! No, it does not.

-Enjolras

P.S. Javert thinks that's the stupidest thing he's ever heard, and I agree. The law and Valjean represent completely different things to him. He wants me to tell you, "LAWR, LAWR, LA-A-A-LAWR," **(MUST STOP BEFORE I START SINGING 'POPULAR')** Um yeah. Bye.

* * *

**Dear Gavroche,**  
** THERE ARE GIANTS IN THE SKY!**

******(submitted by Om)**

* * *

Dear Om,

Dude. I know. His name is Lamarque and he speaks for the people here below!

-Gavroche

* * *

**Dear Eponine and Enjolras **

**I will not accept it. Not until you sing a heart full of love to each other and kiss and get married!**  
** Love K**

* * *

...um, I don't know what exactly it was you said, but it must have been bad as Enjolras shot it to bits with his carbine and Éponine didn't try to stop it...

-Combeferre

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
** Is your name pronounced:**  
** Ahn-jol-rah **

**En-jol-ras **

**Ahn-jol-ras **

**Or En-jol-rah?**  
** Peace out!**  
** Mina (:**

* * *

Dear Mina,

Sorry...Psycho and the other half of RainWillMakeTheFlowersGrow have been having a debate...PSYCHO'S opinion THAT SHE **LOOKED** UP AND HAS EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT is that it's Ahn-jol-rah, but if you were French you would pronounce the 's' very softly, the way French people pronounce the 'bluh' in 'Miserables'...any French people out there to confirm or deny this?

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Azelma, **

******I think your sister really hates me now, so I'll just write to you for a while... sorry éponine! I still looooooooooooove you! What were your thoughts on Cosette? Did you try to be nice to her when your mom and dad weren't around? Did you look up to éponine? Do you think éponine changed the most once you had lost the inn? Did your voice get horse like hers from drinking to much brandy? I hope you didn't follow her in doing that? Did you and éponine get along or did you have a lot of spats about things? Why did you lose the letters that your father wanted you to bring to the people that you were told to bring? Why did your father send éponine on more erronds then you? I'm talking about the time she went over to see marius. She seems much bolder then you, but I could be wrong? Are you and éponine a lot a like? Azelma, please tell the authoress that the way to do the "é" is you turn the numb lock on your number pad on and while holding down both the incert key and the alt you press on number and that makes the "é"! Then she won't have to keep coppying the é anymore! Oh, she doesn't have to type the e cause when you do that step, it makes the é all on it's own!**

******(submitted by EponineJondrette)**

* * *

DEAR EPONINEJONDRETTE,

YOU WROOOOOOTE TO ME! MORE AND MOOOOORE PEOPLE ARE WRIIIIIIIIIIITING TO ME! I'M SOOOOO POPULAR! VERY, VERY POPULAR **(DANG, I REALLY HAVE THAT STUCK IN MY HEAD, DON'T I?)** KEEP WRITING TO ME, GUYS! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU ALL!

-AZELMA

* * *

**Dear Bossuet, **

**It's okay, you can tell me about your worst case of bad luck. Or second worst, or third worst, or fourth worst, etc... **

******Darci**

* * *

No, I really, really, don't want to talk about it. My therapist says I'm not allowed to.

-Bossuet

* * *

**Dear Jehan, **

**Can I have a poem? Please? please please please please please please please please please please please please please please? **

**Darci **

**********P.S. You're awesome!**

* * *

Dear Darci,

Aw, you sure can, hon!

What kind of poem? Um...

There once was a reader named Darci

who asked for a poetical...farce-y

Jean thought and thought

but all for naught

For ideas,

he found

were sparse-y.

-Jean Prouvaire (I WILL NOT START GOING BY PEANUT BUTTER, COURFEYRAC! I WILL NOT!)

* * *

**Dear Derek, **

**I TOTALLY buy your existence and everything, that is one of the great things about Les Mis, I totally would believe the Amis de l'ABC were actual people in the revolution. Well... I buy everything BUT the police inspector with the horrible priorities (seriously Javert. Get. A LIFE!) But I digress, I don't seem to recall when you saved the barricade. Please point this out so I can accurately write you into my fanfictions. **

**Much love, Snow WhitexPrince Charming**

* * *

Dear SnowWhitexPrinceCharming,

OoO, I'm going to be in a FANFICTION? Besides this ridiculous one? That would rock. Um, anyway. I saved the barricade right after 'Bring Him Home'. The camera panned up so there was a wide shot of the barricade and that creepy eye on the Café Musain at night, and then suddenly it was morning and I'm, like squatting on the barricade, whistling to tell everyone about the National Guard coming.

-Derek

* * *

**I have a question for Enjolras and Eponine. Simply, why? Why wouldn't you date? Do you not find Eponine attractive, Enjolras? (I know Eponine does) plus, Grantaire, you ship em, haven't you tried to get em together?**

******(submitted by muftimuffins)**

* * *

Dear muftimuffins,

Oh, I've tried. They just...refuse. Of course, we're antagonizing them so much they're being forced to spend time together to get away from us, so...well...*crosses fingers*...we can hope...

-Grantaire

* * *

**And now, some notes from Psycho! Like you didn't get enough of those inserted randomly into the letters.**

**EponineTheJondretteGirl-You are Eppy Liz! I didn't know! I didn't figure that out until this chapter! Awesome!**

**Om-We must fangirl together ASAP. Was that Cinderella not amazing?**

**JCBoLt-I just squeed when I saw you reviewed. It's always exciting when an author you really like enjoys your work as well.**

**Everyone-I love you guys. I love you guys so much. Who will be the lucky 200th reviewer, hm?**

**Keep calm and Mizzie on!**

**-Psycho**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Guess what? I have realized how incredibly creepy Éponine/Javert is! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, as of 8:35 PM on April 18th, 2013, I have LEFT THE SHIP. **

**You can fear *slightly* less for my sanity now.**

******Sticking by Cosette/Enjolras, though. Also, I have discovered new people to ship each of them with! My secondary ships now include Javat (Javert/His Hat) and Grant...onine? Need to think about that one. But yeah, R/Éponine. Reponine? NO. Anybody have a good name?**

* * *

**Dear Enjolras**  
** What's your mistress' address? What's yours? Do you live together? I sobbed all night because of your..urrrrrr.. Patria. Why did u have a bad day? Did they force you to kiss Eponine? Or something secretive awesomer thing? *wink* I promise not to write rated T stuff here! Happy!?**

**(submitted by preciousat)**

* * *

Dear preciousat,  
*facedesk*  
Patria is not a person. She is my country. 'Patria' means 'fatherland'. You got that? (if I get _one_ letter asking me why I'm in love with my father...bad things will happen.)  
-Enjolras

P.S. And the reason I'm having a bad day is that EVERYONE KEEPS WRITING TO ME!

* * *

**Dear Éponine,**

**Using just two words each, how would you summarise the following people?:**

**Cosette**  
**Marius**  
**Gavroche**  
**Enjolras**  
**Grantaire**  
**Thenardier**  
**Grantaire**  
**Azelma**

**SociallyAwkwardUnicorn**

* * *

Dear SociallyAwkwardUnicorn,

Cosette- Pretty, Lucky

Marius- Handsome, Perfect

Gavroche- Cute, brave

Enjolras- Handsome, Fearless

Grantaire- Drunk, Sarcastic

Thenardier- Cruel, Crafty

I already did R...you put him in twice...

Azelma- Hyper, Annoying

-Éponine.

* * *

**Dear R, **

**It's a shame you don't know half of the drinks I've mentioned... Some of them have twice the alcohol content of absinthe without the horrid taste and do not cause hangovers! :) I'll try and send a few bottles to you. And we could bond over the wonderful world of booze while pissing Enj off. :D**  
** p.s. You should ask Feuilly how the Polish mix spirytus in beverages.**  
****** p.p.s. beer keg or wine cask? I love you!**

******(submitted by Thornspike)**

* * *

Yes, do that.

-R

* * *

**Dear Joly (yes, you!),**

**Are you regularly taking your meds? Can you diagnose Azelma? Does she have ADHD or HPD? Don't worry, it's not contagious! But if it'll come a time where she's literally bouncing off walls, are you willing to sedate her?**

**(submitted by Thornspike)**

* * *

Thornspike-

Of course I'm regularly taking my meds! And I think Azelma has ADHD plus she is hyperactive. And what exactly do you mean by sedate? If it's the medical term, then yes.

-Joly

* * *

**Dear Courfeyrac, **

**Can you give us a length explanation for the nicknames please? **

**Darci**

* * *

Ha! I lied. I'm not giving away my secrets.

-Courfeyrac

* * *

**Dear Psycho, **

**There's this one interview with Aaron Tveit where he does show you how to pronounce the name Enjolras. **

**Darci**

* * *

Dear Darci,

Awesome. Guys, go check this out to figure out if what I said last chapter is true. I would go watch it myself, but I'm listening to Into the Woods and I kind of don't want to have to turn it off...

-Psycho

* * *

**Dear Combeferre, **

**What's your favorite book? **

**********Darci**

* * *

Dear Darci,

I'm rather partial to "The Magic Tree House" by Mary Pope Osbourne, but Psycho keeps talking about some French book she insists I need to check out...

-Combeferre

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**

**Why is your vest red and yellow? Why not Red and Black?**

**Eppy Liz's sister Reese xx**

* * *

Dear Peanut Butter Squares,

Don't question The Vest.

-Enjolras

* * *

**HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHO GAVE AZELMA MY SECRET STASH OF COCA COLA?! DANGIT, AUTHOR, I CAN'T TELL YOU WHERE I HIDE ANYTHING! **

******-JC, the one who is angry with the author.**

* * *

Dear JC,

Mwa ha ha ha ha. Besides, everyone but you and Azelma knows Pepsi is far, far, better.

-Psycho, the one who is Psycho. Doy.

* * *

**Dear Azelma, **

**you didn't answer any of the questions I had asked you! Girl you need to com down and read the letters we all write to you. We all write to you with a reason, do we not? I know it's really exciting and everything but... At least answer next chapter, okay?**

******(submitted by Eponine Jondrette)**

* * *

Dear Eponine Jondrette,

What_ever_.

-Azelma

* * *

Dear Eponine Jondrette,

What form of magic did you use to get her to turn off caps lock?

-Everyone Else

* * *

**Dear Combeferre,**  
** Since no one has been writing to you, hi. Out of curiosity, do you ever really need to calm Enjolras down and make him see reason (happens a bit in various fanfictions), and is it true that you two are best friends?**

******(submitted by Mormeril Dark Lady of Insanity)**

* * *

Dear MDLoI,

Oh, all the time. And yes. Where he represents the something of the revolution, I represent the something. Or something. I think he might be the...ideals...and I'm the...philosophy?

-'Ferre Bear (as Psycho affectionately calls me)

* * *

**Dear Couf: dawwww, you can call me what ever you like sweetie :) i must say, i am extremly curious to hear the stories behind the nicknames **

**Peanut Butter: hey, i wrote a poem about some of you guys! You interested at all in hearing them? I have one about each of you, based off of how the book describes you, and with what ive gathered from the movie. **

**Gavroche: hey honey, i have a very special present for you *holds out fluffy elephant plushie that makes noise and is holding a cookie* **

**Eponine: if you had to be stuck on a deserted island, with the les amis, how long would it take you to go insane? **

******Love Melody Saxon**

* * *

Dear Melody,  
Sure! You should publish them.  
-(sigh) Peanut Butter

* * *

**! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !**  
-Gavroche

* * *

Dude. I'd be the only sane one THERE.  
-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**

**Do you ever quote the American Revolution in your speeches? You know like ' Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!' And 'I only regret that i have but one life to lose for my country.' Thinks like that.**

******(submitted by SnowWhitexPrinceCharming)**

* * *

Dear SWPC,

Hm. I'm not sure... I quote so many people in my speeches...

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Eponine and Enjolras**

**YOU SHOT MY OTHER LETTER! You guys are rude. Ooh that's something you have in common! That's why you should be like Marius and Cosette and sing a Heart Full of Love and get married!**  
** Love K**

* * *

Dear K,

Now you're just having fun messing with us.

-Enjolras and Éponine

* * *

**Azelma, you're cute with nobody. **

**E/E Forever! And don't nag me Azelma. Or Enjolras and Eponine. Technically, there's E/E in forEvEr.**

**(submitted by Guess Who)**

* * *

Dear Guess Who,

And nEvEr.

-Enjolras and Éponine

* * *

**Dear Les Amis, **

**Andres Bonifacio's flag was also red. The only differences between you and him is that 1) he didn't build a barricade, 2) he was betrayed by a fellow member (it's as serious as Marius reporting Enjolras to the Police or something) and 3) he didn't have a revolution theme song. He just wrote a poem called "My Country" (or Bayan Ko in the local language.)**  
** I like learning useless facts. But then, it's probably not useless to the Filipinos.**  
** -MyNameIsLuka**

* * *

Dear MyNameIsLuka,

Now Enjolras wants to meet this guy...is he alive?

-Les Amis

* * *

**Enjolras- as a nickname what would you call every les miz character every one it can be mean if that's what you would use. **  
** Gavroche- your Elephant is awesome I want to live in one. You are my favourite! Whose your favourite Amis?**  
** Azelma- do you ever not go crazy when some one writes to you?**  
** Fantine- no one ever writes to you. If you had more children what would be their names? Do you ever talk with Eponine when your in heaven? Can we be friends cos you're awesome!**

******(submitted by Anna)**

* * *

EVERY one? For the Psycho's convenience I am only doing the first ten she thinks of.

Alright.

Éponine-Shadow, because she used to follow Marius everywhere.

R-Winecask, because he is always drunk. I made that one up already, but I don't care. I'm just answering your letter.

Cosette- she already has one. The Lark.

Jean Prouvaire-Jehan. I am not Courfeyrac. You should have asked Courfeyrac this question.

Courfeyrac-Peanut Butter. Because he calls Jean that and no one knows why. _(I know why...:) -Psycho)_

Fantine-Um, blondie, because the authoress wishes it.

Louis-Philippe-I don't care that he wasn't in La Brique much. The Pear.

Robespierre!-I don't care that he wasn't in La Brique at _all_. Monsieur Génial .

Feuilly-Fan-boy. I mean, How can you not?

-Enjolras

* * *

I know! Éléphants are AWESOME. Um, I guess Courfeyrac is my favorite.

-Gavroche!

* * *

NO!1

-AZELMA!1!1!1!

* * *

Are these my kids with Felix or Jean? If it was with Felix he would probably make me name them all after him...with Jean I would _want_ to name them all after him because He Rocks. And I do know Éponine...in fact, she came with me to collect Jean's soul...that sounds evil. Whatever.

-Fantine

* * *

**dear Cosette, **

**1. Are you really a blond or brunette? Because in the movie your a blond but in the book your a brunette. **

**2. If you were to have a chance to befriend Eponine, would you befriend her? **

**3. What would you do if Marius got sick? You know just wondering **

**4. At what age did your mother leave you in the inn? Thank you**

**(submitted by Chanty 420)**

* * *

Dear Chanty 420,

1. I am a brunette...but I think I have blond highlights (natural!) or something...

2. Of course! Everyone deserves the great gift of friendship! My Daddy told me so!

3. Er...take him to a doctor?

4. I was a year and a half...it makes me sad that I didn't get more time with her.

-Cosette

* * *

**To Fantine- Just wondering, are you really a brunette or a blond? Because you know, Anne Hathaway is a brunette but your describe as a blond, so yeah what? **  
** To Azelma- I'm writing to you, so hi! **  
** To Enjolras- who was the first les amis that you met? And what was your reaction when you realized that Marius was in love? **

**(submitted by Chanty 420)**

* * *

I am a blonde, thank you very much. ;) I am very proud of my hair as well.

-Fantine

HI! OHMIGOSH THIS IS SOOOOO FUNNN!

LOVE AZELMA!

I first met Combeferre because we went to university together. And when Marius fell in love, not only was I shocked, but rather upset because he wasn't prioritizing the revolution. And, may I just say, thank you for writing a normal letter and not one screaming for me to kiss Éponine.

-Enjolras

* * *

**To everyone in Les Mis (including you Derek), What do you think of RainWillMakeTheFlowersGrow? Phew that was a mouthful or handful whatever. Better be honest!**

**(submitted by Fight Dream Hope Love 3)**

* * *

I love her! I mean, she NOTICED me!

-Derek

I HATE HER. SHE SHIPS ME WITH _ENJOLRAS_! Half of her, anyway.

-Éponine

I HATE HER. SHE SHIPS ME WITH ÉPONINE! Half of her, anyway.

-Enjolras

I HATE HER. SHE MAKES FUN OF THE LAWRRRRRRRRR.

-Javert

I dunno. I mean, she gives me cookies.

-Gavroche

Yes, I like her. What's not to like? She doesn't have any weird ships with me, and half of her has a crush on me. *blushes*

-Jean Prouvaire

She never writes about me. Unless she is pretending I'm katniss everdeen. (Shameless self-advertisement: see les miz- the improv version by me)

-Jean Valjean

I love her! *eyebrow wiggle*

-Courfeyrac

I do not play the triangle! (See à band les by Enjolras, combeferre, Courfeyrac, and Feuilly) but other than that, no problèmes i guess.

-Combeferre

I AM NOT AN IDIOT! NUU!

-Marius

I, um, am All Nice, but I don't love Enjolras...other than that, no..

-Cosette

Ub, i'b sig. So i dont know.

-Joly

Why not? I like her.

-Fantine

I LIKE EVERYBODDYYYYY!

-AZELMA!

Um, Why not? Oh, and can we please have some money for this kid? Please?

-The Thénardiers

I like wine. Is she wine? Or Enjolras? Then no.

-R

Non! Elle est TRÈS TRÈS TRÈS FOLLE!

-Victor Hugo

* * *

**Valjean - Why do you keep having identity crisises (if thy is a word)? I mean, first you start singing WHO AM I? really loudly, an then you feel the need to change your name a BAJILLION MORE TIMES! (Slight exaggeration, but... Whatever).**

** Éppy Liz who's sister has let her share her fanfiction account! WHOOPEE!**

* * *

Dear Éppy Liz who's sister has let her share her fanfiction account! WHOOPEE!,

This isn't Valjean...but if it was do you realize that this is the FIRST FRIGGIN LETTER TO THE FRIGGIN MAIN CHARACTER?

-Fauchelemadejeanmathieumysteriousmaninyellowcoat (Spellcheck would like to inform me that that is not a word.)

* * *

**Dear Marius,**  
** Do you think that if you'd never met Cosette, something more would have happened between you and Éponine?**  
** SociallyAwkwardUnicorn**

* * *

Dear SociallyAwkwardUnicorn,

I didn't really know Éponine very well except for the fact that she went and found Cosette for me...so, no.

-Marius

* * *

**Dear Éponine**  
** Have you ever been as drunk as Grantaire? Is it even possible to beat him in a drinking contest?**  
** SociallyAwkwardUnicorn**

* * *

Dear SociallyAwkwardUnicorn,

Yes, and yes. Sadly.

-Grantaire Who Owes Éponine Eighty Francs

* * *

**Dear everyone:**  
** Does peanut butter even exist in 19th century France?**

**(submitted by Elodie . Haven)**

* * *

Dear Elodie,

Yes...but sadly, not until, like, the 1880s. Oh, well. Anachronism or whatever it's called, I guess.

-Everyone

* * *

**Well, it seems that I'm lucky 200th reviewer :D I should get reward for that! You already know, what I will ask for, aren't you? So... **

**Dear Enjolras and Eponine, **

**Sing together "Heart Full Of Love"! (I stole idea from K, I'm sorry, but it's for our common goal!) **

**And Enjolras, please, don't destroy this letter. You know, 200th letter is special, and you should be nice at least one time. **  
** YouKnowWho (even if you don't know who I am)**

* * *

Dear YouKnowWho,  
Yes, we do know what you're going to ask for! And we went ahead and got it for you. Unfortunately, we had such a hard time going into the future and killing Harry Potter (those house elves can be vicious) that we didn't have time to read the rest of your letter before that nosy factory lady stole it. (She steals everyone's mail.) Hope it wasn't too important...oh well, here's Harry's head. Do with it what you like.  
-Enjolras and Éponine

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
** I have several question here:**  
** 1. Do you still don't care about Marius lonely soul? **

**2. What's your personal opinion about Éponine? ( I'm not trying ship you guys! please don't destroy this letter!). Do you think she's pretty? be honest! **

**3. Who's portray Enjolras better between Ramin Karimloo (les mis 25th anniversary concert) and Aaron Tveit (les mis movie)?**  
** vivé la france! **

**sincerely, **

**Raya**

* * *

Dear Raya,

1. Who does?

2. Dirty. A bit pretty, I guess.

3. I like to think that _I _ am the best portrayal of Enjolras...:D...

Vive la France!

-Enjolras

* * *

**A/N: I love you guys! So much! 200 reviews! I didn't really expect to reach that this chapter...**

**Darci the Thespian: Thanks again...I feel so loved.**

**SnowWhitexPrinceCharming: You're awesome! Guys, SWPC put Derek in her fanfic...it's awesome...go read...**

**Om: Sad! But what did you think of Cinderella's prince and his fluffy Marius-hair? Florinda and Lucinda also had very poofy hair, but it wasn't nearly as Marius-y.**

**You Know Who You Are: Please, please, please turn off your French spellcheck! I will do anything...ANYTHING, I SAY! Except not really.**

**Also...I want to know...who would you ship Derek with, and why...and who would be your ideal Derek actor? I would ship him with Éponine because of** _**because**_** and Robert Madge would be my ideal actor...of course, he's my idea _everything_...(three and a half months to his birthday, guys! I'm so excited!)**

**See y'all...hopefully...**

**-Psycho!**


	24. Chapter 24

Bonjour Readers! yes, this is Marseillais updating (for the first time of this one)! I am the nonitalicized person. But i have a NAME. It's Marseillais. If you want to know how i got this, please ask and i will be DELIGHTED to tell yuou. unforutently i am crunched for time and cant do it right now. So...V'la (with accent grave)

* * *

**Oy. Psycho here. I'm editing this because Marseillaise (which she continues to spell wrong) made it really hard to read and I'm one of those people who's, like, a grammar NAZI and I'm in charge of the layout of my school newspaper, and, yeah, just in general I'm a bit of a perfectionist. Anyhoo. Happy birthday, Marseillaise! **

**Congratulate us, guys, for P and M took first and third place in our county wide short story contest, respectively. (This is out of over a hundred entries.) Also congratulate Om for winning last year. We're just all around awesome, aren't we?**

* * *

**I'd just like to tell all of you that if you get anywhere near my freaking Coca Cola, which Psyco who is mean swapped with a bunch of Pepsi, I'm going to kill you all with my brown hat of hatness.**  
**Eponine, please keep your stupid sister away from my stash. I need my caffeine. I HAVEN'T HAD CAFFEINE ALL DAY BECAUSE MY MOTHER BOUGHT GRAPE SODA AND IT IS CAFFEINE FREE AND I AM GOING TO DIE.**  
**-JC, the one with a brown hat of hatness. (submitted by JCBoLt)**

* * *

Dear JC,

Um…we won't touch your stash again. Really.

-Psycho and Marseillais

**(JK, not really. -Psycho)**

* * *

JC-

I'll try…

-Éponine

**Dear R,**  
**When did you realize that you love Enjolras?**

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**Y'know, you remind me of Aaron Tveit.**

**Dear Éponine,**  
**If you could vote, out of all of the Amis-not including Marius or Enjolras-who would you vote for to be president? (submitted by JoanneValjean)**

**JoanneValjean**

* * *

Umm…IDK…this is awkward…

-R

* * *

JoanneValjean-

No, really?

-Enjolras (Who by the way has blue eyes. Not brown.)

* * *

JoanneValjean-

Derek! Obviously.

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Ponine and Jorlas**  
**You both agree on something! Yay! Soon you'll be singing a heart full of love and then get married and be just like Cosette and Marius!**

**Love k**

**PS I'm having so much fun messing with you! **

* * *

K-

…When that happens, I will go yell vive la roi to everyone. Precisely: never.

Enjolras

* * *

K-

NO.

Éponine

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**YOU KILLED HARRY POTTER ARGHAAHAHKDFJNVKSMWNDNC I'm taking your vest away until you apologize.**  
**Darci**  
**Dear Pyscho,**  
**Hmmmm how about Granine? Epontaire? Their names don't really match up. Derek and Azelma?**  
**Darci**  
**Dear Courfeyrac**  
**That was a bit rude saying you'll tell the story and then refusing.**  
**Darci**

* * *

Darci-

YOU CAN'T DO THAT. GIVE IT BACK OR I WILL KILL GINNY TOO.

-Enjolras

* * *

Darci-

Well, this is Marseillais updating, so….mwahahaha I vote Éponine/Enjolras, Enjonine, Éponine/Sydney Carton, Sydnine. I made that last one up!

-Marseillais

**EPONINE/ERIK! FOREVER! Because they're both stalkers and rather insane.**

**-Psycho**

* * *

Darci-

Heehee!

-Courf

* * *

**Dear Everyone:**  
**Andreas Bonifacio is not alive he live in the 1800's too...duh! Yeah I have a crush on him before I realize Enjolras is more awesomer! (MyNameIsLuka your awesome to know Philippine histoire like me.. I'M a Filipino too)**

* * *

Dear Preciousat-

WELL WE ARE AWESOME TIME TRAVELING MANIACS SO WE CAN MEET HIM. HAHA.

Everyone

* * *

**Dear Eponine:**  
**Where do you buy ur clothes? Forever 21? Your Corset is lovely... 50 francs for it? I love my waist to be that small**

* * *

Preciousat-

Um…

Éponine

* * *

**Dear Cosette:**  
**I hate ur bonnets...period**

Preciousat-

Well everyone hates me. So I think I might just hate you too.

-Cosette :P

* * *

**Dear Enjolras:**  
**You're a meanie... I hate you. Go stare Eponine in a CORSET the whole day... And you'll see that that's the worst day in YOUR LIFE. Don't let Courfeyrac tho**

* * *

Preciousat-

Go. Away. Before. I. Kill. You. Actually, stay right there so I CAN kill you.

Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Joly:**  
**OMMITED BECAUSE OF NON K+ RATED IMPLICATIONS**

* * *

Preciousat-

K+! K+! K+!

-Joly and Marseillais

* * *

**Im baaaacccck! I really liked this chapter, very well thought out and long! On to teh letters XD**  
**Couf: :0 Why did you lie to me? I was really looking forward to the explinations! Can you at least tell me the story behind peanut butter? Please!**  
**Feuilly: im a bit confused hun, how do you pronounce your name? Ive heard it lik 5 different ways**  
**Montparnasse: whats your story? I know that you are described as "robust, handsome, and ferocious", but thats about it**  
**Legle: which of your nicknames do you like best?**  
**And finally, to my peanut butter ;p im going to send my poems toRWMTFG because something is wrong with my account, and i hevent been able to post anything in a while. So look forward to seeing them sometime soon c:**  
**Oh, i almost forgot...oh Enjolras...YOU ADMITED THAT EPONINE IS PRETTY! Therefore, you have no right to hate on those who ship you with her! BOSH! That just happened XD**  
**love you guys,**  
**Melody Saxon**

* * *

Melody-

Only if you and at least five other people promise to give me moneyydsuyaolg..;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; GET OFF MY LAPTOP THENARDIER. AND NO, I'M NOT TELLING.

-Courf

* * *

Melody-

It's Foy-eeh. For real. Like, in France.

-Feuilly

* * *

Melody-

I am robust, handsome, and ferocious. Duh.

Montparnasse.

* * *

Melody-

Dumbledore. As Courfeyrac calls me.

-Bossuet (and thanks for writing to me! I think Montparnasse feels the same way but he is to ferocious to say it…)

* * *

Melody-

Aw, thanks! They were lovely.

Love and flowers,

Jean Prouvaire

* * *

Melody, or Whomever you might be-

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE IN THINKING SOMEONE IS PRETTY AND LIKING THEM, OKAY? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

-Enjolras

* * *

**Enj,**

**Your nickname is oficially Enj. And by the way, there is totally something going on between you and Eponine. I can smell the sexual tension from here. So, I conclude:**

**Eppy and Enjy sitting in a tree**  
**K-I-S-S-I-N-G**  
**Fist comes love, then comes marriage**  
**Then comes the baby in the baby carriage**  
**That's not it, that's not all**  
**Cuz' the baby's drinking alcohol**  
**Worry not, he won't get far, I think it ain't bunk**  
**He's just on the path to being drunk!**

**Much love (but not as much as Eppy and Enj),**  
**-Meredith**

* * *

Meredith-

Die in a hole. THERE IS NOTHING. And it's Enjolras, not…that other nickname. SO GO AWAY AND STOP ANNOYING ME.

- Enjolras

* * *

Meredith-

Can I get in on the alcohol drinking?

-R

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**I am totally in love with you? Wanna go to vegas and get married?**

**(submitted by Thespian24601)**

* * *

Yes! That would be fun! I can'asdflsggggggggo'''''''''''''''''''' HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO GET OFF MY LAPTOP, COURFEYRAC? GEEZ, YOU WERE COMPLAINING ENOUGH ABOUT THENARDIER GETTING ON YOURS, YOU FILTHY HYPOCRITE! AND NO.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Victor Hugo,**  
**Whut? VICTOR HUGO WROTE TO ME?!KNXBabjhabbckbadvjobavdinavjnainsjichqsfmbajba jdbckajsbhcihbdachjsbicajsacd! I feel like Azelma now...**

**Joly,**  
**What would you do if everyone in Les Amis got sick except you? and you were locked up and stuck with them?**

**(submitted by Fight Dream Hope Love 3)**

* * *

Dear FDHL3,  
Azelma. I regret ever creating that child. Anyhoo, I'm going to go do whatever it is old dead French guys do...namely, being dead. So bye.  
-Victor Hugo

* * *

Dear FDHL3,  
I would get sick, too. And then we would all die a slow, painful death, like being dropped in a vat of boiling oil while the Wickersham brothers shot bananas at you and your tiny friends who live on a speck, and a small child who is the son of the mayor of said speck and a purple kangaroo child would be your only hope of surviving. Only worse, because although there would probably be a purple kangaroo child (Bahorel tends to carry them around with him) it would be unlikely that there would be a speck, its mayor, or his son.  
Duh.  
-Joly

* * *

He would probably kill himself. Trust me, I know him.

-Bossuet

* * *

**Enjolras and Éponine,**  
**Why do you guys hate ENJONINE so much? how about Épolras?**  
**-TheCabFanforLIFE**

* * *

TCFLIFE,

WE HATE ANY AND ALL SHIPS WITH ANY AND ALL CHARACTERS OTHER THAN PATRIA (ENJOLRAS) AND MARIUS OR DEREK (ÉPONINE)!

-Enjolras and Éponine

* * *

**OK, first of all, I just want to point out I wrote to JVJ several chapters ago...**  
**Dear Enjolras:**  
**What is it with your obsession with Robespierre? I mean, I understand he fought against slavery and for the republic and everything, but you do realize he was a de facto dictator responsible for up to 40000 deaths (and the majority of his victims were a part of France's common people)?**

**(submitted by Elodie Haven (Marseillais would like to inform you that she cannot put the dot in because ff thinks it's a link…silly fanfiction…))**

* * *

Elodie-

He was wonderful! And have you remembered the fact that those deaths were bourgeois scum anyway? Vive Robespierre!

-Enjolras

* * *

OK, JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT WE STILL DON'T LIKE UN K+RATED THINGS. A REMINDER TO ALL OUR LOVELY REVIEWERS, THIS FANFICTION IS RATED K+ AND WE CAN ONLY ANSWER LETTERS THAT HAVE NO SWEARWORDS, SUGGESTIVE IMPLICATIONS OR THEMES, OR OTHER SUCH NON K+ RATED MATERIAL. WE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE RATHER STRICT ABOUT THIS, BUT SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE, IF THERE ARE LIKE, TEN YEAR OLDS (what? They could!) READING THIS, WE DON'T WANT THEM TO STOP READING BECAUSE OF UN K+ RATED STUFF. PLEASE, PLEASE, KEEP IT CLEAN, PPL. THANK YOU,

Marseillais (this is my first update of this story…usually I just email her all my letters (we divide them equally) and she updates them…im so happy!) and Psycho (don't ask why she wanted this name…the National Anthem Of France is much better than a crazed killer….) **ALL PSYCHOS ARE NOT KILLERS. AND YOU ARE FREAKING SPELLING IT WRONG AND YOU ONLY NAMED YOURSELF THAT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE COOL LIKE ME. You know it!**

* * *

**Dear Enjy,**

**Don't call me Peanut Butter Squares. If you call me Peanut Butter Squares, I call you Enjy. We clear?**

**So anyway, in the movie, why is the barricade so freakin' small!?**

**Reese -.-**

* * *

Reese-

Well I am sorry you think that way, perhaps you shouldn't have named yourself after a candy. And if you call me Enjy it is a death wish.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Derek,**  
**Why were you dancing with Maria?**

**(submitted by Om)**

* * *

Dear Om,

Um….What do you mean? Me? With Maria? Uhm…

-Derek

WHAT?! WHO IS THIS MARIUS? I mean Maria…

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear éponine, witch do you like better, your character is in la brick, or la musical? Oh, and Marius, did you know that originally that éponine came to you and asked to do your bidding? Gavroche, on the original french concept album there is a song that you sing both on that album and in the book and I was wondering what that song is called?**

**(submitted by Éponine Jondrette)**

* * *

Dear Eponine Jondrette,  
The musical, cuz I'm so much more...you know, nice...and way prettier.  
-Éponine  
Dear EJ,  
Funnily enough, I did know that. I was there, y'see.  
-Marius  
Dear EJ,  
I like to call it, 'Powa to da MUNCHKINS!' but that idiot Boublil decided to name it 'La Faute a Rousseau' or something...I dunno, isn't it listed on the album?  
-Gavroche

* * *

**Dear Fantine,**

**What do you think of the Jean Valjean/Fantine ship?**

**(submitted by Guest…who Marseillais(me) is going to call Amir just because she likes the name and has decided to give all unspecified Guests random French names, in alphabetical order starting with A)**

* * *

Dear Amir,

Well…actually…I like it. Quite a bit. And Jean does too…

Sincerely,

Fantine

* * *

**Enjolras,**  
**Who would you rather be paired up with?**  
**A) Grantaire**  
**B) Éponine**  
**C) A random fangirl of you...**  
**and Andres Bonifacio is dead... but you're dead also... so I think you'll be able to meet him *cough*MyNameIsLukaIdefinitelythinkIknowyou! *cough***  
**-Celestique**

* * *

Celestique-

NONE OF THEM! HONESTLY, PEOPLE! PATRIA PATRIA PATRIA!

-Enjolras

* * *

Definitely Éponine. They would be so cute! They could have little baby revolutionaries with little red flags!

-Courfeyrac

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**Why are you in love with your father?**  
**I just wanna see bad things happen. Sorry, I'm not sorry.**  
**Curious Nobody**

* * *

Dear Nobody,

*shoots you*

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**

**Please call my sister Peanut Butter Squares as much as you like. Her face was funny. Like, very funny. My crazy friend and I were laughing for half an hour. And that is NOT an exaggeration. Just ask Mina.**

**On second thoughts, don't ask Mina. She doesn't like you.**

**Eppy Liz xx**

* * *

Eppie Liz,

I will not call your sister Peanut Butter Squares if she does not wish it. I know how annoying nicknames can be.

-Enjolras

* * *

**A/N: Aw, now wasn't that so much better than it was before? My OCD can rest easy now. Also, Om! Are you another member of the Society of Rabid Admirers of Underrated Lovers? Vive him! VIVE HIM, I SAY! And, sadly, 'The Marmalade Murders' does not actually exist...'The Crumpet Crime' does, though...**

**I won't keep on telling you every time I publish a new story, but my POTO oneshot needs some love...it's called Haunted...so please go check it out? Please please please please?**

**-Psycho**


	25. Chapter 25

***awkward wave***

**Remember me? **

**I'm back! Yeah, updates to this story are becoming more sporadic...I'M SO SORRY YOU LEAVE ME ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL LETTERS AND I DON'T UPDATE FOR A WEEK**

***goes off and cries in a corner***

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**

**Ginny annoys me anyways. And most of my favorite characters in Harry Potter are dead, so go ahead and kill the dead if it makes you feel better. And Robespierre sentenced thousands of FRENCH PEASANTS to their deaths with NO GOOD REASON. Yeah, the Reign of Terror was bad. I mean, Robespierre started out good but then he wanted to kill everyone with the guillotine and other devices. What's your opinion on the guillotine? What did you think of Marat? **

**Sincerely, **

**Darci **

**P.S. Your red vest is awesome and I'm never going to give it back. Mwahahahahahaha**

* * *

Dear Darci,

_YOU TOOK MY VEST AWAY? DARN YOU! YOU LITTLE LYING DELILAH! IS THIS WHAT YOU EXPECTED TO SEE? CURSE YOU! YOU LITTLE PRYING PANDORA! NOW YOU CANNOT EVER BE FREE_! _DARN YOU! CURSE YOU!_

Um...sorry about that...that wasn't actually me...it was-

_THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! HE'S HERE!_

No, actually, it was you, Psycho.

_Oh...right..._

Uh...bye! *awkward wave*

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Victor Hugo,**  
** Could you explain this paragraph during Waterloo?**  
** Rembrandt is better than Vandermeulen; Vandermeulen, exact at noon, lies at three o' clock. Geometry is deceptive, the hurricane alone is trustworthy. That is what confers on Folard the right to contradict Polybius.**

**(submitted by Om)**

* * *

Dear Om,  
Rembrandt and Vandermeulen were both Dutch artists, but Vandermeulen had a broken clock, so whenever you ask him the time, he says it's noon, so that's the only time he tells the truth. Hurricanes dependably let you out of school early so you don't have to go to geometry class; however, there were far more hurricanes in Folard's time than Polybius', so while Polybius was stuck learning geometry, Folard was watching battles which gave him more right to write about them in immortal works.*  
Duh.  
-Victor

P.S. Derek says he doesn't know what you're talking about. Quote: "Maria who? *nervous giggle* I don't know any Maria...*nervous giggle*...and I'm a very huggy person in general..."

*based on limited amounts of Wikipedia research and large amounts of sugar.

* * *

**Dear Enjolras **

**You are just so not a gentlemen! You just earned a trip to the barn.., no wait you can't feel pain right?**

**(submitted by preciousat)**

* * *

Dear preciousat,

Um...sure. You should probably just, like, send me to bed without dinner or something.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Eponine **

**Come on I love your Corset please can I buy it?**

**(submitted by preciousat)**

* * *

Dear preciousat,

I don't actually wear a corset. My dad has a great book you can use if you want to look like me, though: _How to Starve Your Family and Save Big All at the Same Time!_ by _Some French Guy_.

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Joly and Pyscho **

******Sorry again I'm used to Rated T fics... At least I didn't post anything M.**

******(submitted by preciousat)**

* * *

Dear preciousat,

BAD THINGS WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DID.

-Joly and Psycho

* * *

**Dear Everyone: **

**Ah good luck with your trip..cough..,cough (mynameisluka please make a account so that we can Pm each other how awesome Andreas and Enjy is)**

**(submitted by preciousat)**

* * *

Dear preciousat,

Are we going somewhere? Did Marseillaise post something last chapter that I completely missed?

-Everyone, But Really Just Psycho

* * *

**Dear Valjean,**  
** Do you have *cough, cough* feelings for Javert? ;)**

******(submitted by Anonna Moss)**

* * *

Dear Anonna Moss,

NO.

-Valjean

* * *

**Dear Éponine,**  
** I ship you and Cosette. How do you feel about that (other than relieved/grateful that it's not Enjonine)? Also, can I give you a hug? You seem to need it.**

******(submitted by Anonna Moss)**

* * *

Dear Anonna Moss,

NO.

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
** Do you realize Grantaire is in love with you?**

******(submitted by Anonna Moss)**

* * *

Dear Anonna Moss,

NO.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Gavroche,**  
** You're awesome. :D**

**********(submitted by Anonna Moss)**

* * *

Dear Anonna Moss,

YES.

-Gavroche

* * *

**Dear Felix, **

**Do you realize what a horrible person you are? If you don't love Fantine, that's fine, but you could have AT LEAST left her some money so that she wouldn't have to abandon Cosette, work a minimum-wage job for a womanizing boss, give up her own body just to survive, and eventually die of some disease she caught from living on the streets. **

**... **

**I hate you. So much.**

******(submitted by Kerri)**

* * *

Dear Kerri,

LA LA LA I CAN'T HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAR YOU

-Felix

* * *

**Eponine:**  
** I've got Javert busy listening to Javert's Suicide on his iPod (apparently they have technology in the afterlife)(why does this guy sound suspiciously like me? wait-he commits suicide? But suicide is a sin! WAIT-WHY IS MY NAME IN THE TITLE OF THIS SONG...)(Shut up, Javert)...anyway, what's the most valuable thing you've ever stolen?**

**(submitted by Elodie . Haven)**

* * *

Dear Elodie . Haven,

Psycho's Phantom mask. She spent, like, two hours making it and then I just stole it and she can't find it anymore and she really wants to wear it. TAKE THAT, PSYCHO!

-Éponine

* * *

**Enjolras: **  
** Robespierre is the ANTITHEIS of liberté, égalité, fraternité. by the time he died he was killing more than FIFTY PEOPLE PER DAY. And he pretty much single-handedly convinced France they wanted to be ruled by a monarch (well not single handedly but whatever). Add your hero worship of him to the fact that you seem to think it OK to shoot anyone who annoys you, and i'm very glad your revolution failed.**

**(submitted by Elodie . Haven)**

* * *

Dear Elodie . Haven,

Yeah...I actually like Rousseau way better. That's actually canonic! "Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains." (Yeah. I memorize Rousseau quotes cuz I'm cool like dat.) Under MY Republic, no one would die. Except the king and peoples...

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Fantine, **

**Were you fired by the foreman or another person? And if what would be your reaction if Monsieur Madeleine would have been the one who had solved the fight in the factory and had not fired you?**

**(submitted by FictionLover)**

* * *

Dear FictionLover,

Question numero un: Originally, the LOVELY forewoman at the factory. The musical apparently thought she, like, wasn't good enough and decided that Madeleine's super-moral factory should have a creepy sexual predator as the foreman. I don't know why.

Question numero deux: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU MONSIEUR LA MAIRE HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I WILL BE FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT OH AND PS MY KID WHO I HAD TO LEAVE WITH SOME INNKEEPERS THANKS YOU TOO! IMMA OFF TO GO WORK SUPER-DUPER HARD FOREVER AND EVER!

-Fantine

* * *

**Dear ENJOLRAS**  
** Happy, now Mr. Go Die In A Hole?**  
** Dear Cosette, **

**I dunno why everyone hates you. All you did was fall in love.**

**Dear Everyone, **

**Who wants to be my friend? All my friends are REAL, and tha's a bummer. SO yeah. have beer. And skittles (while I can't drink the beer...)**  
** Hate, Love and Love (respectivley) **

**M****eredith**

* * *

Dear Meredith

Yes. Yes I am.

Mutually,

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Meredith,

IKR? I'm like, a perfect character.

-Cosette

* * *

Dear Meredith,

BEER!

-Grantaire

* * *

Dear Meredith,

SKITTLES!

-Gavroche

**Hiya, Les Amis! **

**Enjolras: You can probably meet Andres in heaven, since both of you are dead. **

**I currently cannot think of anything to say to you. **

**Oh wait. I found one. **

**Hi. **

**-MyNameIsLuka**

* * *

Dear MyNameIsLuka,

Hai!

-Enj

P.S. You're my friend, since I'm pretty sure you've never mentioned Éponine in ANY of your letters. (I think Elodie . Haven might be in that club, too. If any of you people are in the club, lemme know.) So you get to call me Enj! But not ever ever ever Enjy.

* * *

**Dear Gavroche,**  
** may I adopt you? I have lots of cookies, a garden where you can steal apples, cherrys and strawberrys and three kittens you could play with.**  
** Well ... an elephant is still missing, but we could build one, if you want.**  
** Amicalement,**  
** Pityo**

* * *

Dear Pityo,  
I am so there. I may have to get rid of the kittens, though, they ain't good for my image.  
-Gavroche

* * *

**Dear Combeferre,**

** Are medical studies very difficult? Or is ist possible to go successfully trough it, even if I am a little clumsy and forgetful?**

** Yours sincerely,**  
** Pityo**

* * *

Dear Pityo,  
Hm. I'm not sure...I think the system may have changed somewhat in the 180 years since I got my degree...  
-Combeferre

* * *

**Dear Courfeyrac,**

** may I buy your hat? It's such a pretty one!**

** Yours sincerely,**  
** Pityo**

* * *

Dear Pityo,  
Aw, thanks! But I lose my hat enough as it is...  
-Courfeyrac

* * *

**Dear Inspector Javert,**  
** don't you think, that you overreacted a bit by drowning yourself in the Seine, after you realized, that Jean Valjean is able to be a good, honest man?**  
** Oh ... and besides: Now that your dead (and gone). Does "the law" play a role in heaven? And if yes, are you happy with that role? **

** Yours sincerely,**  
** Pityo**

* * *

Dear Pityo,  
Well, I can't change my mind now! I'm in therapy, though...and they DON'T LET ME WORK ANYMORE! WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME?  
-Javerrrrrt

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**

** I would like to ask you a few questions:**  
** 1) IF the revolution would have been successful ... would you have been interested in assuming a political position, such as for example mayor of a town? And if yes, what would be the first thing you would change?**  
** 2) Okay, we all know that your revolution failed (sadly). So I guess you and your friends are now in heaven? First I thought that it must be very boring there because everything ist perfect etc. **  
** But ... there still does exist something like hell. And God does ot only send murderers, rapists to hell but desperate selfmurderers, children which were not baptized ... don't you think that is really unfair and somehow oppressive?**  
** So ... what about confronting God with that fact - and - if he (or she) is not willing to change it to start a new (less violently) revolution?**  
** If the earth should be free, heaven should be it too, don't you think?**

** Yours sincerely,**  
** Pityo**

* * *

Dear Pityo,  
1) After the revolution succeeded, I was planning on making myself president of France...I mean what? *shifty eyes*  
2) Erm...I think you're a bit unclear on the concept of Christianity...you don't need to have been baptized or even have been a super-good person to go to heaven...as long as you believe that Jesus died for your sins, you're pretty much set...  
-Enjolras

* * *

Dear Pityo,

I don't know...I don't know anything...I can't find my absinthe...this is a very unsettling experience...

-Grantaire...am I? Am I really? Who am I on the inside?

* * *

**Dear Je(h)an Prouvaire,**

** at what age did you start to write Poems? Which happening has affected you to write poems?**

** Yours sincerely,**  
** Pityo**

* * *

Dear Pityo,

When I was five I saw a butterfly. I told my Maman what it looked like, and she told me my description was so nice I should write it down. And it turned into my first poem.

-Jehan Prouvaire

* * *

**Dear Enjolras **

**HI! so IK u love Patria and everything (WOW loser Patria is not even a real person) **

**if you met her where would you take her on your first date?**

**(submitted by Her)**

* * *

Dear Her,

I would take her to the ancient battlefield of...what are you sniggering about, Courfeyrac?

-Enjolras

* * *

**ENJOLRAS!**  
** You HYPOCRITE! You said you didn't like nicknames and then you called me Eppie Liz - with an I and and E! How DARE you?**  
** From Eppy Liz :)**

* * *

Dear Eppy Liz,

Sorry, that's just what I call Éponine when I write to her-I mean what? *shifty eyes*

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Jean Prouvaire,**  
** I ship you with EPONINE! **  
** From Eppy Liz :)**

* * *

Dear Eppy Liz,

Awesome!

-Jean Prouvaire

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
** I don't like you.**  
** Not-very-sincerely, Mina**

* * *

Dear Mina,

Well, FINALLY! SOMEBODY!

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
** IT IS NOT MY FAULT MY PARENTS ARE **** AT CHOOSING NAMES!**  
** From Reese. (Who is seriously considering changing her name to Lisa)**

* * *

Dear Reese,

True. After all, I shouldn't judge, my first name is-

Right. Like I was actually going to tell you.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Gavroche,**  
** POWER TO DA MUNCHKINS? Why didn't we think of that? **  
** From EppY Liz and Mina (actually Mina's just gone to change the title of Eppy Liz's English homework to POWER TO D- MINA!**

* * *

Dear Eppy Liz & Mina,

No, POWA, not POWER. Getchyo gangsta on!

-Gavroche

* * *

**PS Mina would like to point out to MyNameIsLuka that she was the first one to do the "MyNameIs" thing. Eppy Liz would like to point out that Mina stole it from a book anywhoo.**

* * *

**Dear Everyone**  
** Who are your favourite people who have played you in the musical?**  
** Sincerely,**  
****** SociallyAwkwardUnicorn**

* * *

Dear SociallyAwkwardUnicorn,

I'm going to be unfair and not answer this one, just because I haven't seen that many different actors for each part. But we all know what the answer for Gavroche would be. :D And if you don't, you haven't been paying attention.

-Psycho

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
** Would you prefer to be shipped with Éponine or Cosette?**  
** SociallyAwkwardUnicorn**  
****** P.S: I have one of your red vests as hostage. If you don't answer, it will come face-to-face with the fire. Have a great day now :)**

* * *

Dear SociallyAwkwardUnicorn,

Darci the Thespian still has my vest. Which means, you do not. So I will not answer. Mwahahaha.

-Enjolras

**Dear Jean Prouvaire,**  
** You and my sister should totally be peanut butter twins. End of. Yah. Innit. Touche. I'mjustgonnastoptalkinnowsobye!**  
****** Eppy Liz xx**

* * *

Dear Eppy Liz,

EHMAGERSH YES!

-Jehan

* * *

**A/N: And that's awllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll l for now.**

**Guess what? Our wonderful government has just passed a law making it illegal for soldiers to share their faith with others in the military. It's "treasonous." And "unconstitutional."**

**...**

**Yeah. **

**Anyone else think that's unfair? **

**VIVE LE JESUS!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Dear Enjolras,**

**When you calm down, we can negotiate a deal for your vest. It's nice though, so I might not want to be separated from it. Would a red jacket make you feel better? And the only time I mentioned Eponine in a letter was when I asked about the drinking contest and right now when I'm reminding you. Can I be in that club? Please? I still won't give you back your vest though. **

**Darci and her new red vest which is awesome**

* * *

Dear Darci,

asdfjkl; I'll only let you in the club if you let me have my vest back. I feel so...empty...

THERE'S A GRIEF THAT CAN'T BE SPOKEN

THERE'S A PAIN GOES ON AND ON

EMPTY TORSOS ON EMPTY BODIES

NOW MY VEST IS KIDNAPPED AND GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Valjean, Éponine, Enjolras, and Gavroche:**  
** Thanks for replying last time! But you were all a little short with me. Clearly, the stress from this revolution business is getting to you. Oh, I know! I'll come by and help! We can build barricades together, and sing songs, and you could teach me how to shoot a gun...it would be like a great big slumber party! :D That should cheer you guys right up.**

**(submitted by Anonna Moss)**

* * *

Dear Anonna Moss,

EHMAGERSH YESSSSSSSS!1! ! 1!

-Valjean, Éponine, Enjolras, and Gavroche

* * *

**Dear Javert:**  
****** If Valjean were dying, and you could save him, would you?**

**(submitted by Anonna Moss)**

* * *

Mademoiselle Moss:

Probably. So he could face his punishment in prison...*covert laughter*

* * *

**Dear Éponine:**  
**If Cosette were dying, and you could save her, would you?**  
**(submitted by Anonna Moss)**

* * *

Dear Anonna,

Ew. No.

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Enjolras:**  
** What would you do if Patria...somehow...cheated on you with Grantaire?**  
******(submitted by Anonna Moss)**

* * *

Dear Anonna,

That would mean he had joined the cause. (I think. It's a somewhat confusing metaphor.) And I would be very happy.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Elephant:**  
** What's it like having Gavroche live in you?**  
**(submitted by Anonna Moss)**

* * *

Dear Anonna,

It's DA BOSS! He's way better than the rats.

-Eva Ella Erin Emily Ethel Elephant

* * *

**Dear Cosette:**  
** In the 2012 movie, a man you barely knew made you run through the streets at night while some guy chased you down yelling numbers. And yet you seemed completely unfazed. Why? Did the Thénardiers get into trouble with the law(r) often and drag you into it so you got used to that kind of thing?**

**(submitted by Anonna Moss)**

* * *

Dear Anonna,

Well...he was so much better than the Thénardiers that I was willing to do anything they said.

-Cosette

* * *

**Dear Enjolras **

**1)So Enjolras is a weird name by the way... **

**2) are you named after someone or are you just original? **

**3) whats your full name?**

**(submitted by Her)**

* * *

Dear...Her,

1):P So is 'Her'.

2) I'm awllll original! Hee hee.

3) Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.*

-Enjolras

* * *

**Couf: thats really mean, you should tell us the story! Shouldent he*looks to the as amis*Enjolras? Please?**

**Everyone: i sent the poems to RWMTFG, i want each of yalls opinions on their poems! it would make me smile**

**Enjolras: am i your friend, i only ship where noone else has to see! Please ? I need a friend :(**

**R: do you like to pull pranks? If so, best prank youve ever pulled and on whom?**

**Jolllly: R, how is he alive? From what ive gathered, he drinks 10 times the ammount of a normal person**

**'Chetta: i like you, from what ive gathered, you are an extremly sweet and amazing person and friend :)**

**And finally...my little Peanut Butter: i want you to write a poem about me and t person of your choosing! Make it interesting please :) **  
** Love and TARDIS to all,**  
** Melody Saxon**

* * *

Dear Melody Saxon,

Fiiiiiiiiiine. Here they are.

Enjolras-Dillamond-He knows there are things wrong in the land! And he wants to fix it! And there is no naïve, green-skinned girl to convince him that some random person has probably already told the Wizard about it, so yaaaaaaaaaay!

Courfeyrac (MEEEEEEE)-Tholly-Cuz I'm like nice!Tholomyés, as Victor said.

Combeferre-Annabeth-Because he's wise, like Athena, who is Annabeth's mother.

Jean Prouvaire-PEANUT BUTTER!-Because he's an author, which makes me think of my personal favorite author, J. M. Barrie, who wrote 'Peter Pan,' like the brand of PEANUT BUTTER!

Feuilly-Warsaw-Capital of Poland!

Grantaire-Taylor Swift-He just hates her music and it really annoys him when I call him that. Heehee.

Bahorel-Dumbledore-Cuz he gets in a lot of fights and probably has his nose broken, like Dumbledore.

Bossuet-Sparky-Because he's blind, like Charlie Brown, who was created by Charles M. Schultz, whose nickname was 'Sparky'.

Marius-Emoticon-Because he's so freaking emo. It's so ANNOYING!

Derek-WillowTree-Because he has so many fans! Or at least he deserves them. And WillowTree makes fans, right?

So there y'are. And, surprisingly, I did not just make those up. That was my legitimate thought process...well, for most of them. Hope it lived up to all your expectations, Mel!

-Courfeyrac

* * *

Dear Melody,

They rock! We kinda want to update tonight, so EVERYONE can't say what they thought, but Jean Prouvaire cried. (The first time I went to type that, I said 'died'. Whoops. *sob*) You should publish them! If you can.

-Everyone

* * *

Dear Melody,

NO.

-Enjolras

* * *

Dear Melody,

Heck yes. It was on Enjolras but he doesn't know I'm the one who did it so I can't tell you. But it was great. :D

-Grantaire

* * *

Dear Melody,

He's a medical miracle! I wish I knew...

-Jolllly

* * *

Dear Melody,

Thanks! Don't let Enjy get you down, I'll be your friend!

-Musichetta

* * *

Dear Melody,

I would LOVE to do that! But I'm a bit confused. You and an LM character? And by 'interesting' do you mean ridiculous or serious? Tell me and I'll do it next time!

-Jean Prouvaire :)

* * *

**Dear Jehan, **

**Sorry, it's been a few chapters, but here I am again! You, dear poet, would be volunteering for special opportunities for gifted children such as yourself. You could also be volunteering for the Volunteer Fire Department, but we at this moment are not sure if that actually exists, or if the sugar bowl can be located. In fact, THAT is what you are volunteering for. Yep. You're going to find the sugar bowl. Good luck!**

******(submitted by Marcelle Dupont)**

* * *

Dear Marcelle,

I believe you just referenced not one, but TWO! of my absolute most favorite book series of all time! So yay you! I'm setting off on my quest! The next few chapters, if you people write me, you'll just get my answering machine. I shall tell you when I get back.

With all due respect,

Jean Prouvaire (or, as I try to get my friends to call me, the Great Jean Weather Machine!)

* * *

Dear Preciousat,

WE TOLD YOU NOT TO FREAKING SWEAR. I mean, we could probably star it out, but that might encourage people to swear in reviews. So your letter will not be printed.

Mwa ha ha ha.

-Psycho and Mars

* * *

**RIGHT! IMMA GONNA FIGURE OUT THESE NICKNAMES COURF!**

** Enjolras-Dillamond-Ermmmm...**

** Courfeyrac (MEEEEEEE)-Tholly-Because according to Victor Hugo, you're like Tholomyés, but nicer.**

** Combeferre-Annabeth- Because he's clever? Like Annabeth?**

** Jean Prouvaire-PEANUT BUTTER!-?**

** Feuilly-Warsaw- CAPITAL (OR CAPITOL FOR YOU AMERICANS) OF POLAND BABY!**

** Grantaire-Taylor Swift- I really think this should be Enjolras. Y'know, her new album, Red, like the blood of angry men.**

** Bossuet-Sparky-ummm, errrr, I LIKE TRAINS!**

** Marius-Emoticon- He has a whole loads of emotions. Like, sad when he doesn't think he's ever gonna meet Cosette again, happy when he meets Cosette again, and surprised when he realises he's seeing Cosette again. Note many Cosette references.**

** Derek-WillowTree-There is probably a perfectly legimate reason for this that is staring me right in the face but... I don't know.**

** SO? HOW DID I DO?**

** Eppy Liz xx**

* * *

Dear Eppy Liz,

You got three! (I'm giving you half credit for Marius and Combeferre) Awesome! You rock!

-Courfeyrac

* * *

**Dear Jean Prouvaire,**

** No. Don't listen to anything my sister says. Like, ever.**

** Reese**

* * *

Hi, this is Jean Prouvaire! I'm not here right now. I'm on a quest to discover the infamous 'Sugar Bowl'. If you need to leave a message, please leave your name and number after the beep! Remember your flower power!

BEEP!

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**

** No, like REALLY don't like you. I think your revolution is the stupidest idea of the 19th Century, and red is an ugly colour. And your description in the brick makes you sound ugly, even if Victor Hugo said you look nice and has a crush on you.**

** Don't deny it Victor Hugo. You said he was good-looking.**

** Mina :-D**

* * *

Dear Mina,

! ! ! ! ! ! !

-Enjolras

* * *

Dear Mina,

I can't answer that; I'm too busy being dead.

-Victor Hugo

* * *

**Dear Enjorlas **

**Is it true you write to Eponine? If so MARRY HER. You crush my dreams! You hear me you dream crusher. Please at least try for me!**  
** Dear Eponine **

**Is it true Enjorlas writes to you? Because I LOVE ENJONINE. I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL ENJONINE GETS MARRIED. HA HA HA HA HA!**  
** LOVE, K**

* * *

Dear K,

We hate you.

-Éponine and Enjolras

* * *

**ENJONINE IS LIKE THE BEST SHIP EVERRRR LIKE SRSLY YOU TWO MUST GET TOGETHER ENJONINE IS JUST ADORABLE!:)! **

**(submitted by OMG ENJONINE)**

* * *

Dear OMG ENJONINE,

Is that you being annoying, Mars? If not, we hate you too.

-Éponine and Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Courfeyrac,**  
** Will you marry me? Please?**

**(submitted by Kat)**

* * *

Dear Kat,

Well, let's get to know each other a bit first! *smiles flirtily** (that's an asterisk outside of the action, if it's unreadable.) Meet me for dinner?

-Courfeyrac

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
** JK! I mean I obviously think you're amazing and your revolution is the best - EPPY LIZ! How many freaking times do I have to tell you to stop writing reviews pretending to be me! Jeez! No Enjolras, I still hate you, but I take back the thing about Victor Hugo having a crush on you. Too many digestive biscuits...**  
** Mina :P**

* * *

Dear Mina,

Thank you. But red is a pretty color. Heehee.

-Enjolras

**Dear Enjolras:**  
** Yes, I most definitely belong in the club of those who do not bug you about Eponine! As much as I may disagree with your political views, I respect your right to determine your own love life or lack thereof.**

**(submitted by Elodie . Haven)**

* * *

Dear Elodie,

Well, THANK you! Welcome to the club!

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Fantine:**  
** Sorry if I'm being intrusive, but I'm kind of curious-at the beginning of this fic you were quite against the whole idea of Fantine/Valjean, but now you seem to kind of like it. May I ask what changed?**

**(submitted by Elodie . Haven)**

* * *

Dear Elodie,

Oh...did I? That just means Psycho was really lazy and forgot what she'd written. But yeah. I like it now.

-Fantine

* * *

**Dear Psycho:**  
** Now it's unconstitutional to discuss religion in the military? What happened to the freedom of speech? TO THE BARRICADES!**

**(submitted by Elodie . Haven)**

* * *

Dear Elodie,

I KNOW! I'M SO MAD! Enjolras is helping me plan the revolution...

-Psycho

* * *

**Enjolras, As much as it pains me to say it (And it's not just to you I have trouble with) I'm sorry. Ou don't have to be my friend, but at least forgive me. I was wrong to assume you and Eponine had romantic ties. Much love, Meredith**

* * *

Dear Meredith,

Awww...thanks!

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Javert, FOLLW DER LAWR**

* * *

Dear Meredith,

You got dat right, sista!

-Javert

* * *

**Dear Gavroche, WAT ABOUT CHOCOLATE?**

* * *

Dear Meredith,

What? What about chocolate?

-Gavroche

* * *

**Dear Cosette, I wouldn't say perfect. But you are definetley a likeable person.**

* * *

Dear Meredith,

Why, thank you.

-Cosette

* * *

**Dear Marius, Is there a greif that can't be spoken?**

* * *

Dear Meredith,

Yes. Yes there is. Apparently it's Enjolras missing his vest.

-Marius

* * *

**Dear Everyone, Do any of you watch and enjoy Doctor Who? (You have cable in heaven!)**

* * *

Dear Meredith,

OHMIGOSH YESSSSSSSSSSS!1!1111111111111

-R

* * *

***NEVER READ MY IMMORTAL. IT WILL DESTROY YOUR BRAIN.**

**And there ya have it. Hope you lot enjoyed, and remember, if you have something to say in an A/N, write it first so you don't completely forget what you were going to say by the time you finish the chapter.**

**-Psycho**


	27. ANOTHER STORY MUST BEGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

**Dear Fanfiction Writers,**

**Goodbye...**

**-Jean Valjean, Javert, Fantine, Marius, Éponine, Cosette, Enjolras, Champmathieu, Les Amis, Derek, Thénardier, Mme. Thénardier, Patron-Minette, the Bishop, and all the rest...**

**Well, all good things must come to an end. I've enjoyed interacting with you, dear readers, but this story has passed on. It is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If it weren't up on this site, it'd be pushing up daisies! Its metabolic processes are history! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible! THIS IS AN EX-STORY!**

***cough* Um.**

**This story is over for three major reasons.**

**a) It is simply unfair to you all that you should have to wait over three weeks for an update for a story that isn't particularly funny and doesn't have particularly long chapters.**

**b) I have started other stories, and have more fermenting in my brain, and want to be able to pursue them as well.**

**c) This story is simply not fun to write anymore. I don't know why, but it has become so, and I, for one, write purely for enjoyment. Therefore, the time has come. **

**It's been lovely...really.**

**-Psycho**

**(I know. I'm crying too. Who knows...maybe I'll revive it in five years.)**


	28. THIS IS NOT THE END! you're welcome -M

Well, Psycho kinda ditched us, non? but she forgot about me! The attrocity! so, Marseillaise shall be the hero. I shall answer y'all's questions through your fave buddies. :) Oh, and one more thing. This will be updated as much as I can, okay? Thanks!

* * *

2:00 AM, circa Marseillaise's computer...

Dear Fanfiction Writers (and Darci the Thespian especially),

I just realised I didn't have something. Give me my vest back and I shall convince the others to continue this.

Enjolras


	29. Chapter 29

Enjy won't be here today. He is doing something with his vest. We don't know what. Really. And don't ask Courfeyrac, he already guessed something…something non K+. Yeah. Maybe I can get Marseillaise to change this to T but I doubt it. Yeah. And Darci, we thank you. He was getting unbearable. VERY unbearable. So yeah. Thanks.

Combeferre

I don't feel like signing in, sooooooo okay.  
*runs around in vest for a while, takes 5 million pictures of the vest*  
I'm done. Goodbye loyal vest. I'll miss you :( Have fun with Enjolras.  
Sincerely, Darci  
P.S. I made the vest bullet-proof :) you're welcome

Darci-

THANK YOU. SO MUCH.

Les Amis de l'Abaisse

* * *

To enjolras,eponine and courfeyrac  
Can you guys just date each other like musichetta and joly and boussett  
If not. Would either courfeyrac or enjolras like to date me and if enjy does date me I have to have his vest

Les mis panda

Dear Panda-

Um, no. Just, no. Enjolras would probably murder me. Yeah.

Courf

Panda-

NO! I DO NOT LIKE ENJOLRAS WHY DO YOU THINK I DO!?

Éponine

* * *

Jehan (Jean) Prouvaire,  
What are you're opinions on Éponine? I totally ship you two, but no one ever seems to agree with me when it comes to the pairing of you two. Éponine's tough, strong exterior contrasts beautifully with your gentle, kind heart. It is the perfect combination, like the dark shadows of purple that compliment the sun like brightness of yellow, even the color wheel agrees with me

White Roses

Dear White Roses,

I like Éponine a lot- I mean, she's my good friend. Um, We get along, but I get along with everybody mostly. Except the National Guard, who no one has written to, haha. I don't _love_ Éponine in that way, but I like her! J

Flowers,

Jean

* * *

Dear freaking everyone:  
Murp.  
I am back.  
And I am prepared to torture.  
Eponine: I triple dog dare you to kiss Enjolras. Like, now. Do it.  
Ain't nobody gonna go back on a triple dog dare.  
So, do it, or die from the power of my trusty Grimmerie. I will hit you over the head. I swear to Oz, I will. Try me.  
I'm in the Emerald City, awaiting my crossover fanfiction.  
-JC, the Wicked Witch of the West

JC-

NO! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH ENJOLRAS! I WILL NOT BEND TO YOUR REQUESTS, FILTHY BOURGEOIS!

Éponine (WHO KNOWS 7 DIFFERENT WAYS OF MURDERING E/É SHIPPERS WITH A FORK)

Dear JC-

I am writing on behalf of Freaking Everyone, and they say that that's great but you tend to make Enjolras get mad. So, uhm, yeah.

Combeferre

* * *

Dear .Crims.3118,

K+K+K+K+K+K+K+K+!

Marseillaise

* * *

Thank you sooo much for continueing ths story!  
Enj: ere, i have a peac offering. *holds out hand-made vest that is red with black lining* take this, but only if we can be friends. Peace, non?  
Courf: OMG they totally lived up to expectations! Thank you so much dearie.  
Everyon: thankyou for all yur support with the poems! Sorry Jehan didnt mean to meke you cry hon  
R: YOU ARE A WHOVIAN! i think you anme just became best friends. Who is your favorite companion, and i want you to pick a who villaian who best represents all of the les amis, including Zelma, Chetta, Ponine, and Gav, Cosette and Marius  
Jolllly: it is a miricle hes still alive. If you ate germs and sickness, what made you decide to go into medical  
'Chetta: thankyou forbeingmyfriend! I really need one :) i want you to describe the les amis, and afore mentioned others using colors (ex enj is red, and then put why)  
Peanut Butter: i would have to say, with the les ami of your choosing, and it has to make sense, it can b serious of comical, just not nonsence.  
Love you all!  
Melody Saxon

You're welcome !

-Marseillaise

Melody-

Enjolras is still hiding in his bedroom with his vest…uhm…I shall give this one to Gavroche because Gav is always stealing Enjolras'. Thanks for trying to make peace though we appreciate it a lot!  
Combeferre

Melody-

R isn't actually a whovian…I think he was drunk…

Combeferre (who has been put on writing duty for those unavailable)

Melody-

Well, I hope to cure Cholera, thus preventing all the germs.

Jolllly

Melody-

You're welcome! I'm glad to be friends with you, too! Hm..Let me see.

Okay, Enjolras is definetly red. Because, the revolution. R is green, that's easy, because he and Enj…olras (he hates nicknames…a lot…) are opposite. Um, Joly would be silver, because it's sterile, and Bossuet would be gold, because he is the Eagle! Jehan would probably be lavender because he is sweet. Feuilly is brown, because he's a worker…no offense intended! But brown isn't as refined. Bahorel…black, because he always fights? I don't know… Courfeyrac, yellow, because he is always bright and cheery. Combeferre, grey, because he is boring. All he does is…STUDY. AND READ. He is boring. Yeah. And he is a terrible cook. He once had to bring food to a meeting, and I was there, and…it didn't work out real well.

Love, Musichetta (thanks for writing to me! J)

Dear Melody-

Okay, I decided to do one about Feuilly, because no one ever writes to him. (forgive me, I am not a poet, and this was done on the spot. –Marseillaise)

Unbroken,

Though the days are long

Dreaming of freedom

And other places

Orphaned, unloved,

Unbroken.

-Jean Prouvaire

* * *

Dear Enjolras,  
Won't you even consider dating Eponine? You two would make a good couple (and not to mention lovely singing revolutionary babies WHOOOOPS).

Dear Eponine, see note to Enjolras.

Love, Katy

Katy-

Can I just say it is a VERY GOOD THING THAT ENJOLRAS DID NOT SEE THIS?!

Combeferre

Katy-

I DON'T LOVE ENJOLRAS! NOT EVEN A LITTLE! REALLY!

Eponine

* * *

dear joly,

*turns head to your face* *sneezes*

oops.

- jess

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GERMS

Joly

That was really rude...

Musichetta

* * *

Yay. Okay umm...  
Dear Enjolras,  
Can we be friends? I never mentioned Éponine in my letter and I believe in your cause. So hi?!  
Dear Eponine,  
Don't worry, I know that you deserve to be with Marius. Your awesome.  
Dear Cosette,  
Did Marius tell you about your father's past? If not,  
then how did you know?  
Sorry for all grammar errors. I'm on mobile...

(submitted by Chanty420)

Chanty-

I'm sure you can be friends. But, that's all. Enjolras isn't interested in love of any kind, apparently. Except for his Patria.

Combeferre

Chanty-

THANK YOU.

Éponine

Chanty-

He told me just before he died.

Cosette

* * *

I have a question for Patria. Do you know that Enjolras feels this way for you? If so how do you feel about it?

And also one for the good Inspector; why did you obsess over Valjean so much? Was there any particular reason he fascinated you so much?

Ariadne

Ariadne-

VIVE LA RÉVOLUTION.

Patria

Ariadne-

Because he didn't follow TEH LAWR.

Inspector Javert, Paris prefecture of police

* * *

Dear Jean Prouvaire,

Ready or not,  
Here I come,  
Where ya at?  
The night is young!  
In the crowd,  
The music's loud,  
But I will fiiiiiind you  
Ready or not,  
Here I come,  
I like your face,  
D'ya like my song?  
Just sing it,  
La la la la la ay  
And I will fiiiind you. :D

I'm sorry. You're my new crush.

Eppy Liz xx

Dear Eppy Liz,

Great poem! But, um, why are you finding me?

Jean

* * *

Dear Everyone-

I am totally and completely obsessed with A Tale Of Two Cities, sooo...I'm making them available too. Because i'm awesome and all that and finished the book for the 7th time yesterday wooooo...so yeah. And that's cool. So yay for Sydney Carton, Charles Evremonde, Lucie Manette, Lucie Manette Jr., Dr. Manette, Mr. Lorry, Defarge, Mme. Defarge, Barsad, Jacques one, two, and three, the Marquis d'Evremonde, the Seamstress, and anyone i have forgotton. Yeah.

Marseillaise


	30. Chapter 30

Here we go. All the other reviews! Sorry about that, folks! And, I shall do all the new ones in a different chappie. Yep. –Marseillaise (l'Hymme Nationale de France!)

* * *

Dear R,  
YOU WATCH DOCTOR WHO?! That's so awesome! Who's your favorite doctor? Companion?  
Darci and her red vest  
Dear Enjolras,  
OH ENJOLRAS, ENJOLRAS  
DON'T ASK ME  
WHAT YOUR SACRIFICE WAS FOR  
EMPTY TORSOS ON EMPTY BODIES  
WHERE ENJOLRAS  
WILL WEAR HIS VEST  
NO MORE  
Darci and her red vest

Like I said last chapter, R is drunk. We don't actually think he watches Doctor Who.

Combeferre

Darci the Torturer-

I GOT IT BACK. HAHAHA.

Enjolras

* * *

Hey guys.  
JC again.  
Just wanted to let you know:  
I AM STARTING A REVOLUTION!  
WE HAVE TO TAKE STANDARDIZED TESTS THIS WEEK IN SCHOOL, AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!  
VIVE LA REVIEW  
VIVE LA SCIENCE  
VIVE LA INTELLECT  
By the way, I'm one of those people who thinks that testing just makes people stupider.  
Just saying.  
-JC, the one who is a revolutionary now

JC-

You do realize that testing and school is bettering the minds of the people, right? And the people all deserve an education, so that they will be smart enough to elect their own leaders and so they can overcome the oppressive government!

Enjolras

* * *

Okay, R, we are now best friends!

Dear Gavroche,  
Everything about chocolate.

Dear Enjolras,  
Friends? (by the way, here's a new vest as a sort of peace offering)

Dear Javert,  
Tru dat, home slice!

Dear Barricade,  
Why has no one written to you? I feel so bad!

Dear Thenadier,  
Dear Everyone,  
RED! THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN!  
BLACK! THE DARK OF AGES PAST!  
RED! A WORLD ABOUT TO DAWN!  
BLACK! THE NIGHT THAT ENDS AT LAST

(submitted by Meredith)

Mer-

YAY! CHOCOLATE!

Gavroche! (And Navet, who wants chocolate too!)

Meredith-

Thank you. Very much. However, I have gotten my vest back, and shall give this one to Gavroche to prevent his stealing mine ever again.

Enjolras

Mademoiselle Meredith-

What on earth? Home slice? True dat?

Inspector Javert, Paris Prefecture of Police

Meredith-

Aw, thanks!

The Barricade

* * *

wat did u girls do wen u got ur periods but u ddnt hav tampons or pads

(submitted by Angee)

Angee-

I don't even want to go there.

Éponine

Angee-

I was very difficult. There were these huge belts, and stuff. No comment.

Fantine

Angee-

WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING THIS QUESTION?!

AZELMA

Angee-

I assume you weren't reffering to us, so we won't answer.

All the nuns

Angee-

Bad things happened.

Cosette

Angee-

….

Mme. Hucheloup

* * *

Dear Enjolras  
What if you and Eponine were the last people on Earth. And the fate of Humanity was in your hands?

Love K

PS  
ENJONINE FOREVER

K-

Well, it isn't. I plan on dying on a freaking barricade long before that has the chance to happen.

Enjolras.

Ps. DEATH TO ENJONINE! I DO NOT LOVE ÉPONINE! WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE GET THAT?

* * *

I'M BAAACK! xDD  
Okay Enjolras,  
Can I also be part of the club? I reread all my letters and I don't think I actually said anything abou ENJONINE to you so... please? *puppy dog eyes* I support your revolution! I even have my own rosette and gun! xD so pwease?  
P.S. I have clarified MyNameIsLuka's identity, she was my friend all along so her parents banned her from using technology because she fangirled way too much on the Les Mis ship I will not dare say. So she can't send you guys letters at the moment  
-Celestique

Celestique-

Of course.

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Amis  
1. besides Enjolras who knows the least about woman  
2. Best amis to have at a party  
3. Cutest girl in Le Mis  
4. Ugliest girl in Le Mis

(submitted by Her)

Her-

1) Umm…Combeferre? I mean, he has dated like, twice. In the WHOLE time. It's weird.

2) Courfeyrac!-Courf ME-R Not R-Everyone else

3) Cosette

4) Mme. Hucheloup

* * *

Dear shhh... Author

Whatever the d-word is not a swear word.. Even maybe Bahorel and R approves.

Dear Eponine  
So who teach you About womanhood? Mother? Marius? Enjolras *wingles eyebrows*? No offense theres no health class in the 19th century.. I love to hear it from you

Dear Enjolras  
Are you a Taylor Swift fan? You look like sisters no offense. But hey Aaron Tveit (the wanna-be-you) sung her song (We are never ever getting back together) which proves his a fan. So are you?

Dear R  
Why hate Taylor Swift? Shes awesome.. Awesomer than your wine or beer

Dear Cosette  
I hate your name it sounded like Corset

Dear Marius  
I heard you've been crowned as King of the idiocy land.. How about it?

Dear Bahorel  
I love your braveness and feisty nature.. Hope you dont get in trouble with the pa-paps

Dear Preciousat-

Yeah, I know. They approve. And I'm thinking about making this story T anyway.

Marseillaise

Preciousat-

Mere did. Duh.

Éponine

Preciousat-

NO.

Enjolras

Preciousat-

Nothing is awesomer than wine or beer! Well…it's complicated…but Taylor Swift is not awesomer than wine or beer!

R

Preciousat-

That's not nice…

Cosette

Preciousat-

I'm king?

Marius

Preciousat-

Why, merci.

Bahorel

* * *

Dear Jehan,

Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
I like your writing,  
Can I write a poem with you?

-CD

Dear CD,

Sure!

Flowers, Jehan

* * *

Dear Enjolras,  
Can we build a barricade? Cause there are certain things I want to rebel against:  
*Enjonine Shippers  
*Maths  
*Older Sisters  
*School Uniform (IT'S NOT FAIR!)  
Anywhoo... yeah. And am I in that club? Don't think I mentioned Éponine...  
Eppy Liz xx

Dear Fantine,  
Like, you don't even find Valjean/Fantine *slightly* creepy? I swear he's like twenty years older than you...  
Eppy Liz xx

Dear Jean Prouvaire,  
When you get back... nice answering machine.  
Reese xx

Eppy Liz-

YES, no, no, no…sure.

Enjolras

Eppy Liz-

Not really, no…Jean's about 45 when I die, and I'm about 35, so, not 20 years.

Fantine

Dear Reese-

Thanks!

Love, Jean (Prouvaire)

* * *

Dear psycho,  
I don't think mars fits the nonitalicized person so her name is now JaquesJoeChesterrLeChatMiloHaterConstipatedLeprech aunSweetNLow.  
Dear enjy,  
I'm in the club too. Hmph.  
Dear Derek cough cough Jose,  
You know exactly who Maria is. And she's single now, btw

Om-

MY NAME IS MARSEILLAISE. AND, DEATH TO MILO THE PLOT RABBIT. AND, ARE YOU OR ARE YOU NOT WEARING A COCKADE TO SCHOOL ON THE LAST DAY? BECAUSE I NEED TO SHOW MY REVOLUTION PRIDE. AND MRS. D- (no not Digne) IS UNLIKELY TO PLAY DYHTPS! LE GASP! YEAH….

Marseillaise

Om-

Um, sure.

Enjolras

Om-

Well it isn't my fault Cheeto killed him!

Derek

* * *

Dear eponine,  
What would you do if you and enjolras were locked in a closet and there was no escape?

Sincerely,  
Bernicia

Bernicia-

Bang on the door until someone let us out. Duh.

Éponine

* * *

Dear Enjolras,  
DO YOU SERIOUSLY SHARE A NAME WITH THE MOST HORRENDOUS, VILLAINOUS, TERRIBLE, INHUMAN, REVOLTING, BLATANT MARY-SUE ON THE PLANET!?  
That is all I have to say to you. I'm just too disappointed by this

(submitted by Mormeril Dark Lady of Insanity)

MDLoI-

What on earth?!

Enjolras

* * *

Part of my review was meant to say:

Dear Monsieur Thenadier,  
you are awful.

Meredith

Meredith-

Why, thank you.

Thénardier

* * *

Dear everyone:  
Yay! Barricade party! *runs off to get sleeping bags, popcorn, and futuristic shield generators* We should watch a movie while we wait for the National Losers to show up. How about Les Misérables? Have you guys seen that one?

Dear Champmatheiu:  
In the 25th anniversary concert (I'm not familiar with any earlier versions so I can't say if it's there or not), Javert says that he's sure you're Valjean because of "the brand upon [your] skin". So tell me: why on earth do you have

"24601" tattooed on your chest?

Dear Valjean:  
In the end...was that bread worth it?

Dear Enjolras:  
OMS ur Enoby!1! liek u r so gottik! we shud ttly meet up and do goffik fingz lik go bak in tim loll mcr rox 666!/

...I'm sorry. I had to. *cowers behind barricade* Don't kill me! I'm one of the few people on earth who don't ship that pairing you hate! Do you really want to risk making us extinct?

(submitted by Anonna Moss)

Yes, we have. Several times. And R wants to say-

HADLEY FRASER

Um. Yeah.

Combeferre (the official speaker for everyone now)

Moss-

What? I have no idea!

Champmatheiu

Moss-

No.

Valjean

Moss-

Really? Just. No.

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Cosette,  
COH-ZETTE, COH-ZETTE!

You're supposed to be an important character, because your mother sell her hair and her teeth for you and Valjean saved Marius for you, but why you don't have solo in the musical? And every time you have a duet with Marius it's always interrupted? (First Éponine, and then your father) why? It makes you seems boring and have dull personality.

Lily (who adore both you and Éponine)

Lily-

Aw, thanks! I don't know, but it's fine, I'm with Marius! I really don't get a ton of love here, so thank you so much! And, just for the record, Éponine and I have made up. SO no more fighting. Except Marius, the poor boy!

Cosette

* * *

Dear Les Amis,  
(It's perfect time to ask you guys, since Enjy and Éponine are not here *whispering*)  
Do you ship Enjolras with Éponine?

-Enjonine Shipper-

* * *

Enjonine Shipper-

Yes.

-Courfeyrac, Bahorel, Feuilly, Joly, Bossuet

No. He can choose whomever he wants, or no one at all.

-Combeferre, Jehan

No. He needs to get over it.

-R

* * *

Dear Feuilly.  
Greetings from Poland, which is independent country again!  
I'm pretty sure that you already know that, because we retrieved our freedom almost 100 years ago. And then the WWII came.. . And Warsaw was destroyed...  
...but we rebuilt it!  
Sadly, our present government is really... foolish. And it's impossible to start a revolution. (not without you and your friends!)  
By the way, there were lots of revolutions in the history of Poland. Most of them failed, but Poles have fought for freedom of their motherland, just like you and rest of Les Amis!  
I can tell you more about our revolutions and about Amazing History Of Awesome Country Called Rzeczpospolita Polska, but I don't want you to get bored (maybe Enjolras would be interested? He likes history, right? Especially history of rebellions) .  
If you want, I can send you pierogi or vodka (for R of course!) or anything else you want from my beautiful country!  
(ﾉヮ)ﾉ*:･ﾟ  
-Jaga

Dear Psycho,  
I know how you feel! Poland is one of most catholic countries in Europe, when everyone left us and wars came, only religion was giving us hope and there was even Polish Pope (we miss him very very much :C), but now, a lot of Poles blame Church, bully Christians and even politicians say that our religion is something worthless or even harmful! I don't mind that they don't believe, but they should respect those who do.  
What's happening to the world? :C Can I join you and Elodie at the barricades?  
-Jaga  
PS. Sorry for my bad English, I'm still learning and I try my best! (:

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG AN ACTUAL POLISH PERSON REVIEWED OH MY GOSH THIS IS AWESOME. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH. Yeah…I'm Polish too (but don't speak the language or live in Poland.) BUT YEAH. AND I HAD TO STUDY IT FOR THIS PROJECT, WHERE WE HAD TO STUDY OUR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN, RIGHT? AND IT WAS AWESOME! But Polish seems like a really hard language. Because of all the weird vowel and consonant sounds. But I suppose English seems that way to Polish people so I'm not one to judge.

Marseillaise (whose favorite foreign countries are, in order, France, Poland, Switzerland, England, Canada)

Jaga-

That's awesome! No, I would love to hear more about it!

Feuilly

Jaga-

Yep. I'm joining as well!

Marseillaise (who is doing this now)

* * *

Dear Gavroche,  
I actually can't decide if elephants or cookies ate better, but I'm my own person and I don't want you to hate me, so I'm gonna go with unicorns.  
VIVE LA UNICORNS!  
Also, tell Azelma that I LOOOOOOOVE HEEEER!

P.s EponineandEnjolrasshouldmakeoutsorrynotsorry

(submitted by Megan)

Megan-

It's vive les licornes, actually.

And Azelma says she LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEES you too…

Gavroche!

PS. Enjolras and Éponine say they want to viciously murder you…uhm…

* * *

Dear Marius,

What was our sacrifice for again? We forgot.

Sincerely,  
Your Friends

(submitted by Guest, who I am going to call Benoit. Pronounce: Ben-wah)

Benoit-

THAT'S NOT FUNNY. WE DIED TO MAKE A BETTER FUTURE FOR FRANCE, AND-

Sorry about that. Enjolras just won't shut up sometimes.

Enjolras and Éponine

* * *

Dear Grantaire,  
Exactly how drunk do you have to be?  
*winks knowingly*

(submitted by SerinaTheGypsyGirl)

STGG-

What d'ya mean?

R

* * *

So, Bahorel, does it frustrate you that few people know you exist?  
Combeferre, do you realize that your name makes some people want to comb your hair?  
Laigle/Bossuet/whatever, does the hair comment offend you?  
Courfeyrac, would you use online dating sites if you could?  
Enjolras, would you read Meetings by Darci the Thespian if it meant she would give you the vest back?  
Joly, do you realize that diseases are caused by microscopic animals that exist on pretty much every surface, not bad alignment with the magnetic poles?  
Jean Prouvaire, do you sympathize with Marius' romantic aspirations?  
Grantaire, what (if anything) would make you become sober?  
Feuilly, do you realize that Poland has been occupied by one country or another for over 70% of its existence?

Keep writing and Vive la France!  
justme

Justme-

YES.

Bahorel

Justme-

…

Combeferre

Justme-

Not really, but it offended Combeferre.

Bossuet

Justme-

No. I have a strict policy about not reading fanfiction. Ever.

Justme-

Joly is hyperventilating and nodding sacredly. Thanks.

Les Amis

Dear Justme,

Sure.

Jean Prouvaire

Justme-

Hmmm…

R

Justme-

Yes.

Feuilly

* * *

OHMYGOSHYESILOVEYOUCOUFTHANKYOUFORRESPONDINGIJUSTL OVEYOU...I mean...sure! Sounds great! How about Cafe Musain?

Kat

Kat-

…..Sorry, I have a policy about not taking demented fangirls on dates. Bad things happened the last time. NOT EXPLAINING.

Courf

* * *

Dear Enjolras-  
Do you ship Javat?  
Do you ship Valjean/Javert?  
Do you ship Grantaire/Enjolras?  
Do you ship Enjonine?

(submitted by FeminerdyPotato)

FP-

Doesn't everyone?

NO

NO!

NO!

Enjolras

* * *

Dear all Les Amis,  
1)Do you ship E/R or E/E *little accent thingy*?  
2)Have you read My Immortal?  
3)Am I allowed to abbreviate your names? Enjy's especially?  
4) Do any of you write fanfiction?  
5)If so, Can I read it?

(submitted by FeminerdyPotato)

…We aren't answering that, Enjolras might see this.

No

NO. NO NO NO. For Enjolras, at least. Grantaire doesn't mind R.

R does, but we're all afraid to read it. Jehan does as well, but nothing that goes against something one of us doesn't like.

Well…if you dare…

Les Amis

* * *

Dear Azelma and Gavroche,  
Yes, 'Zelma, I know I wrote to you.  
1) Do you guys ship Derek/Azelma?  
2) Do you guys like Supernanny?  
3) Do you guys like Derek The Whistle Boy?  
Love,  
FeminerdyPotato

ERMAGERSH AADAGHA ADLFKJALKGJ I GOT WRITTENTOA NNNNNNH-

Thanks for that. Now I have to go do something about her.

Gav.

Derek/Azelma? Hm. I think I know which Ami 'Zelma has a crush on, and it's not Derek.

Supernanny?

Everyone likes Derek.

Gav!

* * *

*The end of chapter whatever chapter this is*

*remember you can write to the ppl in ATOTC!* I shall be updating the next chapter...whenever i get the chance. And i shall be updating Une Histoire de Deux Vivres soon, and Still not Cured...within three days or so? I'm not quite sure. And my plot bunny, Robespierre, is hungry, sooo...review! And one more thing. I kind of want to do story requests so if you have a good one there's that. Yep.

Je te vais mange.

i will eat you. Yeah. frenchie power.

Marseillaise


	31. Chapter 31

Here we go again…

Marseillaise

* * *

Dear Darnay,  
I love ya, hon. *hugs*

(submitted by Psycho, who apparently still likes this although she is no longer doing it)

Psycho-

Sorry, I'm taken.

Darnay

* * *

Dear Feuilly,  
How many times have you been to Poland?  
Darci who doesn't have her vest anymore :(  
Dear Marseillaise,  
I think it will be more entertaining if it was a T, in my opinion.  
Darci  
Lucie Manette,  
If you couldn't marry Darnay, who would you marry?  
Darci who is a huge ATOTC fan!  
Dear Thenardier,  
Did you care when your whole family died besides Azelma?  
Darci

Darci-

Lots! I go every year for Polish independence day, and once Les Amis got me a trip for my birthday a couple years ago (but that never happened again…), and-

Yes, that's great. Enough now.

Feuilly and Combeferre

Darci-

Hm, mayhap.

Marseillaise

Darci-

I honestly don't know. I mean, he's just…Charles! I suppose I would marry some other person, though, if I never met him.

Lucie

Darci-

Eh. Not really.

Thenardier

* * *

This is for 'Parnasse. Do you think you might love Eponine? Or, like her a little? Thanks. -R

R (but not the Grantaire one)-

Eh. Not really.

Montparnasse

* * *

Dear national guard,  
Hi

-Om

Om-

REBELLIOUS TRAITOR TO THE THRONE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! BAD OM FOR SINGING DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING WITH MARSEILLAISE IN CLASS!

-THE NATIONAL GUARD (wow, I had waaaaaaay too much fun with that one…)

* * *

DEAR ERRYBODY AGAIN  
I GOT A NEW PACK OF COKES TODAY  
WOOOOOOO  
SO IM HYPED  
HYPED  
Hyped  
Hyyyyyyped  
Hmm… that's a funny word  
Hyyyyyyyyyyped  
Hyyiuuihjknikped  
Eponine, I can kill you with a spoon. SPOON. Spppppppooooooon. Hehe, spoon.  
So yeah, I like spoons.  
IM STILL THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST  
FEAR MY MAJICK  
MAAAAAJIIIIIIICK  
By the way, Enjonine is amazing and don't even. Okay? You guys are amazing.  
Sorry for making you mad Enjolras. Do you want a Coke?

Never mind, you ain't gettin none of my cokes  
I NEED THE SUGAR  
OFF TO THE VAULT I GO TO GET MORE COKE  
-JC, the one who LOVES COKE

…  
Oh my God. Thank God she's gone. I'm so sorry, guys. Save yourselves.  
Oh, who am I? I'm Ketrick, JC's favorite OC. I'm not in any of her fanfictions, but I'm in her Steampunk book.  
She's crazy. You really, seriously, should run.  
Oh, and I like Enjonine, too. Just saying.  
-Ketrick

JC-

I CAN KILL YOU WITH A TOOTHPICK.

Éponine

JC-

NO. I WANT NO COKE. I WANT YOU TO STAHP DIS RIDICULOUS NOTION!

Enjolras

* * *

Can people write letters to Enjy's vest? I will defy the laws of sanity I guess...  
Enjy's vest, Who took better care of you? Enjolras or Darci?  
Jehan, Eppy Liz was singing a song by Bridgit Mendler "Ready or Not"  
Enjolras, Can be part of your club? I support your cause and have a gun ready and never mentioned Ponine in my letters to you. Except when I ask who you prefer to be with...  
Lastly R, What do think about this nickname for Enjolras? Enjo...

(submitted by Celestique Ships ExE)

Celestique-

*LE IS AWESOME*

-EnjOLRAS' Vest

Celestique-

NO. Your PENNAME. HAS. ONE OF THE UNMENTIONABLE SHIPS.

Enjolras

Celestique-

No, he'll always be Apollo.

-R

* * *

Dear Marseillaise  
The second to the last is not a poem it's a song "Ready or Not" by Bridget Mendler ((The one submitted by Eppy Liz))

Dear Enjolras: and (Eppy Liz)

I'm throwing furniture at the windows  
Locking up the block  
It's like every time the wind blows  
I feel it tearing us apart  
Every time you smile  
You let him in again (I'M POINTING TO YOU JAVERT)  
Everything is fine  
When you're standing in the TOP of the barricade

Here comes the sun, here comes the rain  
Standing in the top of the barricade  
Here comes the sun, here comes the rain  
Standing in the top of the barricade

You picks me up like  
Ya got the way of the barricade  
And I think I'm fine like  
I'm in the top of the barricade (2x)

Reprise Version of "Hurricane" by Bridget Mendler (For Eppy Liz too)

(submitted by preciousat)

Preciousat-

BARRICADE.

Enjolras

* * *

I love this fiction so much, you guys are awesome.  
Ok so two questions;  
First, Gavroche, have you ever met the Artful Dodger from Oliver Twist? If so did you two get along?

Second, Javert, where do you get all the snazzy hats you wear in the musicals and movies?

Thank you!

Celestial Dauphine

Celestial-

YES! AND YES!

Gavroche

Celestial Dauphine-

From the Snazzy Hat Store, of course.

-Inspector Javert, Paris Prefecture of Police

* * *

To eponine  
In answer to your question  
I pretty sure you do cause even I do and have you read the enjonine fanfictions?

To courf  
Don't call me panda or I will hunt you down and does that mean you won't date me? Because I'm completely available

Panda

Panda-

…*toothpicks you to death*

Éponine

Panda….s are awesome! To you-

Um. Well. I don't date fangirls. Not saying why. I had a…bad experience.

Courf

* * *

Dear Lucie (Senior),  
I hate you. I don't know why but I hate you. So much.

Dear Jean Prouvaire,  
You put the iPod on shuffle after numerous amounts of Smarties, and you end up writing whatever lyrics come on. I'm sorry. I'm not finding you. I was just singing. Very very loudly.

Dear National Guard,  
I hate you. A lot.

Dear Montparnasse,  
I think you need a hug. The pressure's getting to you. *hug*

(submitted by TheJondretteGirls (one of them))

TheJondretteGirls-

Why? I never did anything to deserve that, in my opinion!  
Lucie Manette

Eppy Liz-

It's okay…

Flowers, Jean

TheJondretteGirls-

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE REVOLUTIONARY SCUM! AIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE !

-National Guard

TheJondretteGirls-

Um, merci.

Montparnasse

* * *

Cossette,  
How do you feel about a Marius/Eponine fanfic?

(submitted by Scorpia Fire)

Scorpia-

Well, honestly, I don't have a grudge against Éponine, but it is kind of awkward. But I don't read fanfiction, too many of them hate me for some reason.

-Cosette

* * *

¡Español es mejor!  
I want to read R's fanfiction  
Enjolras-don't read any fanfiction, you may be appalled with the OOCness and weirdness. If you would like to read something about Les Miserables, you can read...Les Miserables!  
Everyone in Les Mis-do you feel more related to your book character, play character, or movie character?  
Oh and Jerry Cruncher-STOP GRAVE DIGGING! IT'S WEIRD AND DISRESPECTFUL!  
Les Mis peoples-have you guys read A Tale of Two Cities? If so, what did you think?  
ATOTC peoples-have you guys read Les Miserables? If so, what did you think?

(submitted by Darci the Thespian)

R wants you to read his fanfiction too.

Darci-

I have already read Les Misérables. And I have sworn NEVER to read fanfiction again after mistaking one of R's for my speech notes. Worst day of my LIFE.

Enjolras

Darci-

Book, because it's more detailed.

Everyone!

Darci-

Apollo has read it, and Combeferre. Enjolras says that it portrays the reign of terror all wrong. And Combeferre is always debating some crazy "do the ends justify the means" or whatever. I haven't read it though. But I plan to.

R because I stole this laptop.

Darci-

I have.

Sydney Carton (because he's awesome, that's why)

* * *

Dear courf  
I give you full permission to date me I am not one of those crazy fan girls I just think you are awesome you can call me panda and I agree on everything that you do so can I date you

panda

Enjolras  
If courfeyrac doesn't date me you are stuck with me so I would make sure he does if we're you

lesmispanda you can not call me panda

Panda-

NO.

Courf

* * *

Panda-

No, I am not. I am not "stuck" with anyone. I can date whomever I choose. Or I can have Patria. So there.

Enjolras

* * *

Dear Cosette  
was there anyone before Marius  
because it's kind of hard to believe that you married the first guy that you met

Her

Her-

No, there wasn't. Papa wouldn't let me.

Cosette

* * *

No, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way is the name of the Mary Su from My Immortal, the worst fanfiction ever. Don't read it.

Dear Enjolras,  
I don't like you anymore.  
- Psycho

Dear Marius,  
SQUEE I AM FANGIRLING YOU SO HARD RIGHT NOW I LOVE YOU! (And if you don't put this in the chapter, Mars, Imma go kill you. Kay?  
-Psycho

Dear Mars,  
I'll wear a cockade to school on the last day if you do. Also, JVJ was like 52 in 1823 and Fantine was like 30 or younger. So it was kind of creepy. I still ship it though.  
-Psycho

Dear Jean Valjean,  
Do you like macaroni and cheese? I do.  
-Psycho

Dear Psycho-

That's lovely. I never liked you.

Enjolras

Psycho-

….(IM ONLY PUTTING THIS IN HERE CUZ I DON'T WANT TO DIE)

Marius (AND MARSEILLAISE NOT MARS)

Psycho-

I'm all for it. VIVE LA RÉVOLUTION!

Marseillaise

Psycho-

Um.

JVJ

* * *

Dear Feuilly,  
I saw Les Mis at the theatre and became an obsessive fangirl of yours. Go Poland! *hug*  
Eppy Liz xx

Eppy Liz-

Yay!

Feuilly

* * *

Dear Errybody  
My puppy ships Mariette. He says, "Woof, Mariette." He also says, "Woof, Enjonine."  
And he's cute, so listen to him.  
-JC and Chewie, the ones who are hardcore shippers

Um, I really don't think Éponine or Enjolras should see this…

Marius

* * *

Dear Mars,  
I kind of don't have a cravat *hint hint* I mean uh... Uh... COCKADE! That's the word. Gosh, first I misspell bonjour, and now... Ugh. And duh mrs. D won't play les mis. I mean, we're you seriously surprised by that?  
Dear Combeferre,  
I ship you with Christine Daae. Just so you know.

Om

Om-

DON'T CALL ME MARS. I'll bring you in my spare one tomorrow in school.

Marseillaise (I thought Combeferre was with Meg? Or did we change that?)

Om-

Um, that's…nice…

Combeferre

* * *

Dear Robespierre the plot bunny,  
Please tell Mars to stop trying to kill me. Om agrees.

Milo

Milo-

I'M VACATIONING IN PARIS. Marseillaise says no.

Robespierre the plot bunny

* * *

Dear Amis,  
Who is cooler, Derek or Enjolras?  
Who is cooler, Derek, Enjolras, or Marseillaise?

Dear Courfeyrac,  
What happened last time you dated a demented fangirl? I mean, it must have been pretty awful if you now actually turn dates down.

Keep writing and Vive la France!

Justme

Justme-

Cooler? Derek. Enjolras doesn't really do 'cool'.

Marseillaise! Duh!

Les Amis

Justme-

…bad things happened including but not limited to my first night in the ER because of a lava lamp.

Courfeyrac

* * *

Dear Eponine  
Why won't you give Enjy a chance? Look at that beautiful face with beautiful curly blonde then look at Marius. Who do you choose? I think you should choose the handsome, majestic Enjorlas

Love  
K

K-

Please…I can't take it anymore…JUST KIDDING. NOT HAPPENING.

Éponine

* * *

Dear Les Amis,  
I was banned from technology for 2 months, so this is just a break for me.  
To Patria: Please dump Enjolras. OKAY I ADMIT IT! I ACTUALLY SUPPORT E/É IT'S JUST THAT I KNEW THOSE INVOLVED WITH IT HATE IT SO I NEVER BROUGHT IT UP!  
Please don't hate me Enjolras and Éponine.

Sincerely,  
MyNameIsLuka

MNIL-

Aw, that sucks.

Les Amis

MNIL-

NEVER.

Patria

* * *

(sorry this is all, I shall do the rest later. Bye!)


	32. Chapter 32

Here we go. Yippee! And by the way, Victor Hugo is still in my closet, along with Enjolras, Jean Prouvaire, and Sydney Carton. Not letting them out. HAHA! -Marseillaise

Oh, maybe he was with Meg... But then who was with Christine? We should have written it down.  
Dear Éponine,  
Tomorrow is the anniversary of your death. Ditto to Jean Prouvaire. Sorry bout dat.  
Dear everyone,  
ONE DAY MORE!  
Barricade day pt. 1 is like tomorrow peeps! Squee! Heheh... Tomorrow I shall share the parody that drives mars insane... Sneak peek...  
Do you hear the people sing?  
No you don't cuz they're all dead  
And they're now just tiny voices that are singing in your head..

-Om

Om,

We wrote them down at the barricade party. Combeferre was with Meg. And other odd ships that I now am addicted to. AND THAT PARODY WAS HORRIBLE! LIKE AWFUL! AND IT MADE ME WANT TO THROW SOMETHING! But your Éponine costume was the best. And my red flag that I named Rousseau. And THE BARRICADE! That was awesome! And my almost getting guillotined. Fun times, but on to the rest of you.

Marseillaise *cough* and I have a killer dead person impersonation *cough*

Combeferre- HI CAN WE BE PEN PALS I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE TOO ADORABLE WHEN YOU STAND NEXT TO ENJOLRAS!

R- YOUR CURLS ARE TOO CUTE! I think you're the cutest barricade boy by far!

Marius- I CARE ABOUT YOUR LONELY SOUL!

Bishop of Digne- thank you for letting Valjean go! You are truly an inspiration for me!

Javert- YOU ARE THE AWESOMEST EVER I LOVE YOU!

Jehan- WHY ARE YOU SO ADORABLE?

-Iluvdiesel

Iluvdeisel-

Um, are you okay? I mean I guess we can be pen pals…

Combeferre

Iluvdiesel-

Thanks, I think so too. Except for Apollo.

R

Iluvdiesel-

OMG NO WAY!

Marius

Iluvdiesel-

I am not "awesome". I do my duty as an inspector of the Paris prefecture of police. You need to calm down.

Inspector Javert, Paris Prefecture of Police

Iluvdiesel-

Aw, thanks! But you know that that's also Romantic with a capital R, right? As in, I kick butt.

Jehan

Enjolras,

Haha Enj you let me join in chapter 30 :P

Not Sincerely, Celestique Ships ExE

Celestique-

Hush, child. Before he reads this.

Anon. Student

Dear R,  
Okay, can I please read your fanfiction? Can give me an excerpt? PLEASE! After all, you lied about watching Doctor Who.  
Darci the whovian

Dear Enjolras' red vest,  
You miss me, admit it :)  
Darci the awesome

Dear Sydney Carton  
You're not worthless  
Darci

Dear Marseillaise and Psycho,  
Happy Pre-barricade day! Even though you'll probably post this later! But still!  
Darci

Dear Enjolras,  
I've seen some CRAZY nicknames for you. I think Apollo is the best. I mean, it captures your sunny personality! *sarcasm* And anyways Patria is a symbol, so you can't use 'i'm dating Patria' as an excuse anymore, okay?  
Darc the Torturer! (dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnn)  
That's my evil alter-ego

Darci-

Hm, maybe. It's very amazing. I think I would most likely be found dead, murdered by several people, if it just somehow happened to show up…maybe I can get Derek or someone to put it up at the end. *wink wink*

R

Darci-

Nooooo, of course not….

Enjolras' red vest

Darci-

Yes I am. That's just the way things are, I suppose. But thank you…

Sydney Carton

Darci-

AAAH BITTERSWEET BARRICADE DAY TO YOU TOO! Le sob.

-Marseillaise

Darci-

SUNNY PERSONALITY!?1/!?/1? AND OF COURSE I CAN. BECAUSE I WILL NOT CONFORM TO THE WORTHLESS FANFICTIONS ABOUT MY MAKING OUT WITH ÉPONINE AND R. SO THERE. AND NO. NICKNAMES. EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Enjolras

Dear Enjolras,

Enjonine sucks. Marry me.

-Madame Marie Enj

Madame Enj-

NO. GO AWAY.

Enjolras

Dear Enjolras,

I don't like Enjonine. You don't have chemistry. I don't like Granjolras either. For the love of Patria, are these people on drugs?

Also, I got you Robespierre's jacket...just because. Here you go.

Jehanne Marie Ja

Jehanne-

I believe that they are. Thank you.

Enjolras

Dear Javert,  
SWING YOUR NIGHTSTICK HIGH, JAVVIE  
WIELD IT HIGH AND FAR  
FREELY FLOWS THE BLOOD OF THOSE YOU MOCK THE LAWRRRRRR...  
-Psycho

Dear National Guard,  
YO WHATTUP, HOMIES. Just saying, I totally don't blame you for the Barricade Day incident. It wasn't your fault.  
-Psycho

Psycho-

Excuse me? You live up to your name.

Inspector Javert, Paris Prefecture of Police

Psycho-

Thank you! We were raised that way, and believed that we were actually fighting for our country! Plus, Hadley Fraser (who Marseillaise is happy over)!

The National Guard

Well, this is my first batch of questions, so here goes nothing:

Dear Éponine,  
Do you ever read any of your own fanfics (you know, the good ones, not the creepy ones where they try to hook you up with Enjolras)?

Dear Lucie Manette,  
First of all, I just want to say that you are pretty awesome. Vive La Golden Thread! What do you think your life would have been like if you were never reunited with your father?

Dear Madame Defarge,  
I try my best NOT to hate on literary characters, but I don't always succeed. I do not like you. Seriously, you were going to kill Darnay just for being an Evremonde? What the heck was that about? I cheered Pross on as she shot you. (Or, as you shot herself as you were trying to kill her. That part of the book confused me a bit).

Dear Sydney Carton,  
I think you're awesome too. So, I'm reading this book right now called A Far Better Rest, which is sort of like your history prior to the events in Tale (it's not a fanfic; it's a real book). Have you read it at all, and are any of the events accurate?

Dear Robespierre the plot bunny,  
Do you work with Marseillaise, or Pyscho, or both?

Dear Les Amis,  
The anniversary of the barricade is starting tomorrow. If the revolution had lasted one extra day, what would you have done with it?

Dear Fantine,  
I'm sad that more people don't write to you more often. They should. Why did you not bring Cosette with you to Montreuil, or just stay in Paris, rather then leave her with the Thenardiers?

And that's all I got for. Bye! *waves*.

Sincerely,  
-TheIbis2010

Ibis (can I call you Ibis?)

Just a few, and I honestly kind of like them. But then there's….really odd ones.

Éponine

Ibis-

Thanks! I don't know…I guess that I would be very unhappy, as he would never have had the chance to save Charles, but maybe I wouldn't have met him in the first place…I don't know, I'm just glad I was.

Lucie Manette-Darnay (because this is the twenty first century, and I changed my name to work.)

Ibis-

I hate you too.

Madame Defarge

Ibis-

Thanks! No, I haven't read it. But I will.

Sydney Carton

Ibis

I work for Marseillaise, heh heh.

Robespierre the plot bunny

Ibis

Fought. Fought and hopefully the people would have come.

Les Amis

Ibis-

Because I couldn't afford it, and people would have talked at a single woman with a child. It would have made work hard to get.

Fantine.

Dear All of You,  
Have you watched Les Miserables Bloopers? If you haven't go to YouTube, type Les Mis Bloopers, and if you see a video with a black background and red text, click it. Poor Enjolras broke his voice 4 times.  
Yours in All Boredom,  
MyNameIsLuka  
P.S.- Today's my brother's B-Day (June 5).  
P.P.S.-To Enj: My younger sis, Guess Who, requested you read 25 REASONS WHY YOU, ENJOLRAS, SHOULD GO OUT W/ EPONINE by A Charming Young Girl. Good Luck.

OMG YES HAHAHAHAHAHA IT'S THE BEST!

Everyone

Luka-

NOT READING.

Enjolras

Dear Marius,  
Is it sad that no one cares about your lonely soul?

- ExÉ4evaaaa *judge me but idc e/é is my otp*

ExÉ4evaaaa-

Pretty sad, yeah, but I have Cosette so it's okay.

Marius

Dear everyone,  
Enjonine is the best.  
I love Enjonine.  
The name is like music to my ears. Enjolras/Eponine. Awww, so cute.  
I mean I can imagine you two being wed.  
Like a big white wedding.  
And children.

Dear Enjolras,  
Marry Eponine.

Dear Eponine,  
Marry Enjolras.

From, Mandy.

Mandy-

Well, certain people agree with you, but I am not listing names, for their sakes.

Combeferre

Mandy-

NO.

Enjolras and Éponine

Dear Javert,  
since no one else seems to actually be nice to you lately, I will do something against that. You are a wonderful being and I think it's great that you uphold the law so diligently. Besides, I like your hats. And your voice. Can you teach me something about astronomy, please?  
Yours sincerely, valvert-shipper

Dear…Valvert-shipper,

Thank you for understanding! I really don't have many fans.

Astronomy. Well, since the study of space is one of Marseillaise's many obsessions, sure. And she wants to go on about nebulae. Schabam! This is the non-lecture version because she doesn't want to bore you all.

Nebulae are utterly amazing. They form when stars, having become red giants and eventually imploding (or exploding, depending on which kind of star it is) scatter their hydrogen-rich remains across the universe. These become huge dust clouds that float in space. From these huge dust clouds, the remains of the 'dead' stars group together, and become so dense and full of hydrogen and pure energy that a new star is born. Thus, nebulae also become 'nurseries' for the new stars. Groups of hot, blue stars that have just been born (as in, 1 million years old, practically a baby in star years) will form, and the gravitational pull against one another will shoot them off into space in a star cluster. If enough star clusters are close, their gravity will force them into galaxies. But back to nebulae. When a nebula 'gives birth' to a star or group of stars, the radiation from the process actually eats away at the nebula, causing it to deteriorate. Supermassive stars often cause nebulae, but when they don't they cause black holes. I could go on for pages and pages about black holes but I won't. consider yourselves lucky that I'm not. Nebulae are basically the life cycle of stars, because stars are born from nebulae, and then the nebulae causes more stars to be born, and then this causes the nebulae to be eaten away by radiation! It's cool! And I could go way more in depth…but I won't.

Inspector Javert, Paris Prefecture of Police (and Marseillaise)

Dear Enjolras  
Did you ever want to get a job?  
because I'm pretty sure overthrowing the government doesn't pay much  
just wondering  
-Her

Her-

I studied to become a lawyer.

Enjolras

Okay, here's a thing. About a thing. That Enjolras and Eponine would appreciate. I do not ship you in book verse. It just couldn't ever happen, EVER. It's IMPOSSIBRU. But in musical verse, I could see it. If you can't, well, I guess you're kind of screwed, because everyone else can, including Ketrick, my dog Chewie, and courtneybuscus.  
Sorry about your luck, but if you don't ship ExE, WHO THE HECK DO YOU SHIP?  
MxC is obnoxious, RxEnjolras is onesided, RxEponine is… rather awesome, I must say… but either way, tell me what YOU ship, Enjolras and Eponine. Give me your insight.  
-JC, the one who is trying to logic

JC-

I ship Enjolras/Patria.

Enjolras

JC-

I ship Marius/Éponine…it's kind of depressing…

Éponine

To courf

I am NOT a crazy fan girl I just wanna date you please because I am not that annoying and ill even help you set enjolras and eppy up because ENJONINE for the win. And I will give you a great experience of dating girls  
You can even call me  
Panda

panda

Enjolras  
See note to courfeyrac if I get a no you are sooooooo dating me xx

lesmispanda you can't call me panda

Panda-

Hm. Well, I appreciate the offer, and maybe _one_ date or two, and Enjonine for the win, but I have had a very bad experience with fangirls…PlusimightbedatingAzelmadonttellanyone.

Courf

Panda-

See, I can date whomever I want. Your opinion has no influence. Patria. Not Éponine. Definitely. Really.

Enjolras

Dear Enjolras

Viva la France! Viva the Republic! Viva en Taylor Swift (whatever R)!

We are gonna beat the National Guard's butt forever, ever.., like ever

Watch E/E begin again... :p

I dont know bout ya.. But I'm feeling One of the Amis. Everything will be alright if you kill Javert. Ya don't know bout meh but i bet Aaron will do. Everything will be alright if we party like 1832  
((So obsessed with Taylor))

Dear R  
You should sing the chorus of "Come and get it" by Selena Gomez while offering the Amis a liquor or something that u drink

Dear Eponine  
Would you consider singing "Thinking of you" by Katy Perry because if ur with Monty all u really love is Marius.. Or "So what?" by P!nk to Monty.

Dear Cosette  
When ur a child u should probably sing "Mean" by Taylor Swift to Eponine because you are living the high land girl now.. Anyway I just pretended that I hate you. Not really my avatar proves it.. Oh and sing "A Thousand Years" to Marius since you guys are dead but have an immortal soul

Dear Marius  
Sing "It will Rain" by Bruno Mars to Cosette becau.. Oh wait you can't cry.. Right?

Dear Les Amis and Mars  
Did you watch the Twilight series? If so are you team Edward or Jacob?  
Psst.. Eponine I know ur team Jacob Bcoz he's story is like u. He's rejected but she loves Bella. (I suggested too many songs)

Preciousat-

….No.

Enjolras

(HAHAHAHAHA THIS REVIEW MADE ME LAUGH SOOOO HARD!XD great parodies! –Marseillaise)

Preciousat-

Yeah, I should…

R

Preciousat-

No!

Éponine

Preciousat-

I can totally cry! I cried like five times in the book! It's Enjolras the Unfeeling that you should be talking to about not crying! Although I think he cried when he didn't get his vest back for a while…

Marius

Preciousat-

Team Edward!

-Marius, Combeferre,

Team Jacob!

-Grantaire, Marseillaise, Courfeyrac, and Éponine

Ew, twighlight.

-Bahorel, Feuilly, Joly, Bossuet,

Why do people waste their lives doing such crazy things? I mean, why read books and watch movies about supernatural love triangles when you could be planning a revolution? I know Combeferre reads everything, and Marius…I don't even want to know how or why…Grantaire lost a bet…Courfeyrac? Really? I guess Éponine is entitled to…she's a girl and doesn't have a revolution to plan…Honestly, you people are ridiculous.

Enjolras

*And the promised excerpt from R's fanfiction*

I sat in the Musain, drinking wine, as usual. Apollo was making a speech. He always does that. Like I even listen. His stupid cause was doomed anyway. All it's going to do is get them all killed.

"Grantaire!" I looked up to see him walking over. What? Had I missed something? No. So why would he care?

"What."

He started over. I looked down into my glass, my one certainty. Other than him, that is. "Grantaire," he said again. I looked back up. "Stop drinking."

I snorted. As if. "Why would you care? I'm worthless, you said so yourself, why would you care?"

His face softened and he said, "I don't think you're worthless, R."

*that's the end because it is*

BYE NOW.

-MARSEILLAISE


	33. Chapter 33

Aah! I'm sorry for the terrible wait on this! Sorry! Here's another chapter!

-Marseillaise

* * *

**Enjolras,**  
**I made you cry?! SUCCESS! Yeah, I'm feeling evil. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Do you know that Patria translates to FATHERland? Is there something you want to tell us. **  
**Darc the Torturous**  
**P.S. you're like a French version of Padriac Pearse from the 1916 Irish Rebellion. **

**R,**  
**That was beautiful. And sad. You can do other things than drink and oogle Apollo!**  
**Darc **

**Combeferre,**  
**YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF ME AND THIS WILL MAKE NO SENSE TO BASICALLY EVERYONE BUT I DON'T CARE. And don't tell Enjolras that I put a tracking device on his vest.**  
**Darci**

Darc-

First of all, your name makes no sense. Darci was better. Secondly, those who do not weep do not see. And thirdly, did you also know that Patria (Patrie in French) and France are both _feminine_ words? As in, the particle is 'la' instead of 'le'. Vive LA France. After all, it also translates to MOTHERland as well as Fatherland. It goes either way, but yes, there is something I would like to tell you. You need to get better things to do than write stupid fanfiction. Like find something that needs fixing with your society and FIX IT.

Enjolras

Darc…i-

Um. Thanks.

R

Darci-

STUDY! And if you didn't want Enjolras to know, you shouldn't have told his best friend.

Combeferre

Ps. DARCI I DON'T CARE IF YOU KNOW WHERE I AM I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Enjolras/Grantaire,**  
**How would you feel about being locked in a closet together with romantic candles and a fancy dinner?**

**(Submitted by Courfeyrac)**

I SWEAR I DIDN'T SUBMIT THAT! -THE REAL COURFEYRAC

A closet wouldn't have enough room for a fancy dinner. So I would feel claustrophobic and most likely incredibly annoyed.

-Enjolras

Hmm…

-R

* * *

**Dear Enjy-Poo,**  
**SING, MY ANGEL OF MUSIC**

**-Erik Le Fnttome**

Erik le Fntome-

You obviously don't speak French. And what. The. Heck. I don't sing.

-Enjolras

I think he sings in the shower. I hid a recorder in there when I pretended to pass out and he had to drag me to his house. Ha.

-R

* * *

**You can't date a country.**  
**-JC, the one who simply writes one line to Enjolras.**

JC-

I'm not dating a country. I never said I was dating a country. I don't date at all. I just love Patria.

Enjolras

* * *

**Soooo, Enj and R. I want to phrase this right. GO OUT ALREADY! R DIED FOR YOU! HE LOVES YOU! AND YOU CALL MARIUS STUPID! GRRR THE TENSION BETWEEN YOU TWO! ENJ GET OVER PATRIA! IT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! R, EMBRACE ENJ AND NEVER LET HIM GO! IT'S JUST EOVJFOELSNVIGOWPLAMBT. AND RAMIN AND HADLEY ARE PERFECTT KNJFJKND C AS ENJ AND R AND IM SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW, BUT TRUST ME. V HUGO SHIPS E/R YOU FOOLS! (KIND OF, IT'S LIKE ONE SIDED)**  
**I'm sorry, I had to get that burden lifted.**  
**Sincerely, this is totally not Darci *cough***

**Eponine,**  
**Okay, you know what annoys me? When people change your character. You're awesome and they feel the need to make you into this sniveling whiny pitiful little girl. NO! YOU ARE EPONINE THENARDIER, THE BANE OF THE PATRON-MINETTE! And people should respect your decision in Monsieur Marius. Enjolras is annoying and rude and...yeah...I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS ENJY! Just want you to know that I like your original character, and you shouldn't change personalities just cause. **  
**Not Darci **

**Dear Combeferre,**  
**I'm sorry. You're right.**  
**The Procrastinator**

**Dear MWIPSI,**  
**Hi!**  
**Darckicikciikyikjdiskdjhfhfisowksmfhvi**

**Oh and VIVE E/R!**

I like you.

-R

No. Can you people just accept that I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR GRANTAIRE. Other than feelings of annoyance.

Enjolras

Well THANK YOU!

-Éponine

MY NAME IS NOT MWIPSI

-MARSEILLAISE

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**Hypothetically, if Patria didn't exist, who would you date?**  
**And also, if you had to use one of Javert's awesome hats, which would you pick?**  
**FP**  
**Dear Javert,**  
**LAWWWWWWW. NOT LAWR. LAWWWWWW. LA-WUH. UNDERSTAND?**  
**FP**

FP-

Hypothetically, if Patria didn't exist, then I STILL WOULDN'T DATE.

Enjolras

FP-

LAWR. GET OVER IT.

Javert

* * *

**Madame Defarge- **  
**Can you knit me a hat? Thx.**

**-Om**

Om-

DO YOU SUPPORT THE REVOLUTION?

Mme. Defarge

* * *

**Dear Courf-**  
**Azelma is kinda dating Cheeto. You know, Cheeto. The guy that shot Tony.**  
**Dear Marseille-mayonnaise,**  
**I hate you. Lots.**  
**Sincerely,**  
**Milo the plot rabbit**

Milo-

No, Maria is dating Cheeto. Because they're both psychotic.

-Courf

Milo-

The feeling is mutal, evil plot rabbit. DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Marseillaise

* * *

**Dear Éponine,**

**Tips on le friendzone?**

**Kay xx**

Kay-

Be tough and don't let people get you down. And sing sad songs in the rain.

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Enjy-poo**  
**oh come on calm down you have eternity to have the revolution thingy**  
**Dear Eponine**  
**I knew it! Im a fortune teller leech (as Jacob calls) like Alice Cullen**  
**Dear Bahorel**  
**why ew? Twilight is AWESOME! like Les Mis**  
**Dear Marius**  
**Okay too much information**  
**Dear whoever-said-Team Jacob**  
**too late guys Bella married Edward and Jacob has Renesmee...opps spoiler but Team Edward forever.. TATA for nhaw**

**-Preciousat**

Preciousat-

THE REVOLUTION CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH.

Enjolras

Preciousat-

Um, that's wonderful…

Éponine

Preciousat-

Anything involving sappy romantic vampires is stupid.

Bahorel

* * *

**Dear Courfeyrac,**  
**WHERE ARE THE FLIPPING CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS?!**

**-Mistress 24601**

Mistress 24601-

…What the heck? I never dated or anything with 24601 people. I have twenty-seven. Chill. And I'm not Felix Tholomyès. I'm not evil. If someone had gotten pregnant then I would have HELPED THEM. You're just trying to get money.

-Courf

* * *

**Dear Éponine,**  
**Marry me.**

**-Enjolras**

THIS WASN'T ME.

-Enjolras

I know it wasn't you. And I wouldn't marry you anyway.

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Mars,**  
**I shouldn't have left this fic. I really shouldn't, because I have OCD and WHERE ARE MY LINES AND MY BOLD AND MY PERFECTLY OVERCHECKED SPELLING AND GRAMMAR AND WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH**  
**-Psycho**  
**PS: Fix the summary. Please. It's bothering me.**

**Dear Mme. Defarge,**  
**Oh, yes! A hat, please!**  
**-Psycho**

**Dear AJ,**  
**If you read this, I'm waiting with the guillotine. It's not rabbit-sized anymore either. And heck yeah, I escaped the Hyper Protection Bunker. I had a spare blowtorch. (You have to pay me back for the other one, BTW. Or get Marius to. I imagine he's having fun using it to blow up the barricade.) And my laughter is still insane. And I'm standing outside your window right...now...**  
**-Psycho**  
**(No need to respond to this one, Mars. Just stick it in the letter where she'll hopefully see it.)**

**Dear Eppie-Sue,**  
**I hate you.**  
**-Psycho**

**Dear Cosette,**  
**You shouldn't go to that silly convent. Go to Pigfarts. It's on Mars.**  
**- Psycho**

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**RUMBLEROOOOOOOOOAR!**  
**-Psycho**

**Dear Courfeyrac,**  
**I've been waiting all these years to DANCE again...**  
**-Psycho**

**Dear Combeferre,**  
**Stop LOOKING at me like that!**  
**-Psycho**

**Dear Charlotte Corday,**  
**From what I know about you, you're friggin' awesome. Nice on the whole assassinating Marat thing.**  
**-Psycho**

**Dear Mars,**  
**Are you getting tired of these letters yet?**  
**-Psycho**

**Dear Bella Swan,**  
**Stop answering this letter. YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN THIS FANDOM!**  
**-Psycho**

**Dear Javert,**  
**On a certain website the word 'Javvie' autocorrects to 'Snookums.'**  
**...**  
**I just felt like you should know.**  
**-Psycho**

**Dear Angel Dumott Schunard, or however the frig you spell your name:**  
**I'm pretty sure you're a girl. I mean, I've seen the pictures.**  
**-Psycho**

**Dear Feuilly,**  
**Let them eat cake!**  
**-Marie Antoinette, a recently guillotined plot bunny.**

**Dear Feuilly,**  
**I DIDN'T SAY THAT I NEVER SAID THAT WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I SAY THAT**  
**-Marie Antoinette, a dead Frenchwoman**

**Dear Mars,**  
**I think I shouldn't be writing these letters at one in the morning. What do you think?**  
**-Psycho**

**Dear Roger and Mark,**  
**You guys should pay your friggin' rent. I mean, yeah, life sucks, you all have AIDS, you wanna write a song-I get it. But, I mean, it's kind of the lawrrr.**  
**-Psycho**

Psycho-

Suck it up. You gave up. And don't call me Mars

-Marseillaise

Psycho-

I like your name. But I knit shrouds. Do you support us?

Mme Defarge

Psycho-

Well I hate you, too. With a perfect hatred.

-Eppie-Sue

Psycho-

Um. What?

-Cosette

Psycho-

…

Enjolras

Psycho-

Go dance with Marius, because you like him so much.

Courf

Psycho-

Thank you.

-Charlotte Corday

Psycho-

YES. YES I AM. And don't CALL me MARS.

-MarsEILLAISE

Psycho-

THAT'S EVIL AND DISRESPECTFUL.

-Javert

Marie Antoinette the plot bunny-

Didn't Marseillaise and Psycho guillotine you? Then why are you reviewing ?

-Feuilly

Marie Antoinette-

I never said you said that.

-Feuilly

Psycho-

I don't think you should be, either. And DON'T CALL ME MARS.

-MarsEILLAISE

Psycho-

You should stop trying to get the RENT characters to review on a French Revolution fic.

-Marseillaise Who Is Sighing In Relief That This Review Is Over

* * *

**Dear Azelma,**  
**Do you ever wonder why you were never even mentioned in the play or movie? You werent really a main character, but you did trigger some key events. Does it bother you that other characters did it for you?**  
**Kansas**

**Dear Gavroche,**  
***blushes* Hi. I fing you very amusing and attractive. In a street urchin way. The guy who plays you in the movie, Daniel Huttleston is my age, thirteen. (Yes Rain, yes Darcy, I am thirteen. Move on.) But I just want to say that you ate definitly the bravest person Ive ever met. I am totally the girl version of you, and we would totally be best friends. In fact, we should be best friends. So what im trying to say is that will you be my best friend cuz you arr on awsome badass streeturchin bro.**  
**Kansas**  
**Cossette,**  
**Thanks to Darci The Thespian, I ship you and Fuilley. Also, did you ever have any conversations with 'Ponine when she was youre messanger?**  
**Kansas**

**Courfeyrack, **  
**You are the man bro.**  
**Kansas**

Kansas-

Yeah, that's annyoying.

-Azelma

Kansas-

Um. Thanks.

-Gav

Kansas-

I agree.

-Courf

* * *

**Dear Barricade, **  
**How does it feel being trampled by extremely hot revolutionists?**  
**Jenna**

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**If you do not like Eponine, then who do you ship HER with? M/É?**  
**Jenna**

**Dear Marius,**  
**Nobody likes you. You so dumb.**  
**Jenna**

**Dear Cosette**  
**YOU'RE SUCH A LONELY CHILD HOW PENSIVE HOW SAD YOU SEEM TO ME (see what I did there) Um. Would you choose Marius or your Papa? CHOOSE.**  
**Jenna**

Jenna-

Well it was okay until they started dying on me and I couldn't get rid of their sweaty and stinky and bloody dead bodies.

-The Barricade

Jenna-

I don't "ship".

Enjolras

Jenna-

Cosette AND Éponine like me. And most of Les Amis.

Marius

Jenna-

It depends.

Cosette

* * *

**Dear Jenna,**  
**Jsyk, I'm a Marius fangirl.**  
**Yes. We do exist.**  
**-Mme. Psycho Pontmercy**

Poor Psycho wishes she hadn't abandoned this, haha. -Marseillaise

* * *

**dear monsieur thenardier,**  
**THIS IS NOT ROSALIND! YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS SAM MORRIS, HER FRIEND!**  
**we just got done watching les miserables so i have some questions for you.**  
**1. do you like guinea pigs?**  
**look like rick ashley (aka roll)**  
**3. have you been arrested for child abuse?**  
**4. how do you feel about you accomplice-i mean wife?**  
**5. what happened to you after the wedding?**

Sam Morris-

…To put in pies!

No. I don't hit my children! Why does everyone think I hit my children? IN THE BRICK IT SAID THAT IF ANYONE DID ANY HITTING IT WAS MADAME.

I used to love her but she's annoying and ugly soooo…

I moved to America and became a slave dealer with Azelma. It said so in the Brick.

-Thénardier

* * *

**This is for Les Amis:**

**If they made another Les Miserables movie, who would you want to play yourselves?**

**-Marie Charlotte**

Marie-

Um…well Hadley Fraser as Grantaire, Ramin Karimloo for Enjolras, Alistar for Jehan, Killian Donnely for Combeferre, Hugh Skinner as Joly, George Blagden as Courfeyrac, Gabriel Vick as Feuilly, someone bald for Bossuet, Eddie Redmayne as Marius…pretty much the same as the movie.

-Combeferre (the speaker for all of us)

* * *

**Dear Eponine,**

**I just want you to know that you're my favorite character in Les Mis and Marius should have been yours. Also, I don't ship you with Enjolras. (I just don't see it happening...)**

**-Jeanne**

Jeanne-

Thank you!

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Les Amis,**

**Do you guys have Instagram?**

**Anna xx**

Anna-

Noooo, but Marseillaise does. eponine[underscore underscore]Enjolras

-Marseillaise and Les Amis

* * *

**Dear Marsellaise, **

**I hope you can update soon. The questions here are hilarious and I am excited to see what their replies are**

**-GUEST (whose name is now Benoît)**

Benoît-

YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED. And thank you for using my actual name, not…MARS.

-Marseillaise

* * *

**Ahem! My friend who's name is actually Cosette she is so dang lucky: No. More. PUNCTUATION! Me: *Pokes tongue***  
**Dear Enjolras,**  
**I don't ship Enjonine. It is vile, impossible, disgusting. I believe that the people who support it must be guillotined. *Sees how many people actually ship it* Ooookay, not killed. That'd take a huge chunk out of mankind. But I reeeeeeeeeally hate it. VIVE LA PATRIA! P.S. Don't you think it's a teensy bit unfair that you're such a marble statue to everyone? Who do you think you are, Galatea or something? No disrespect intended. I am an avid revolutionary, thanks.**  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear Marius,**  
**Remember when you remarked that "life without Cosette means nothing at all"? Let us travel back in time... *We see Me from the past throwing popcorn at the TV* Me from the past: DUDE. LIFE WITHOUT COSETTE WAS YOUR WHOLE LIFE UP UNTIL TODAY!**  
**Remember it well.**  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear National Guard,**  
**Die, you large-mustached bucket of pudding. You deserve what Marie Antionette got, you vile pig-head. P.S. Nice mustache. P.P.S. I am a revolutionary. So naturally to me you are scum. :D**  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear Courfeyrac,**  
**Has the name Estelle ever struck your fancy? *Blushes* Just wondering... P.S. It's not my name. I double swear on my copy of the Brick. Seriously.**  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear Eponine,**  
**You are my favourite character. Why would anyone ship Enjonine? Ugh. You deserve Marius. I strive to be like you. Kind of.**  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear Cosette,**  
**I'm so sorry for you. I agree it is unfair that you are so hated. I think you are cool. Cosette my friend: That's not true. She doesn't like you. She demanded I change my name to Eponine. Me: SHUT UP! I mean...uh... BLOOD! *Shows her a bleeding cut* Cosette my friend: *Faints* She's a hemophobe. Fear of blood.**  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear Gavroche,**  
**I love you.**  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear Jolllly,**  
***Hugs you* Oh, wait, sorry, I have pneumonia. **  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear Everyone Except Jolllly,**  
**Quick! Is Joly gone? Yes? Don't read this until you get him out of the room! Now is he gone? Good. I don't have pneumonia. I just wanted to see his reaction. I know, it's kinda mean, but hey, I'll apologize if a CERTAIN BARRICADE BOY *COUGH* JEHAN PROUVAIRE *COUGH* will help me with a poem for English class... wait. You don't have my address. *Sighs* A simple peck on the cheek would suffice.**  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear Thenardier,**  
**Here, have a franc. *Offers* *Takes it back at last minute* GOTCHA! You're really a horrible man. I signed you up for the Get Your Paws Off Those Francs program. _ You're welcome.**  
**Eponine Everdeen**

Éponine E-

Thank you.

-Enjolras

Éponine E-

…..

Marius

Éponine E-

The mustache has a NAME, you know.

-Rudy Manchego the mustache of Hadley Fraser

Éponine E-

Not really…why?

-Courf

Éponine E-

Thank you.

-Éponine T

Éponine E-

Um…what?

-Cosette

Éponine E-

Ew.

-Gav

Éponine E-

THAT WAS CRUEL.

-Jolllly

Éponine E-

Sorry, I'm dating Marseillaise and I live in her closet.

-Jean Prouvaire

Éponine E-

…What the heck?

-Thénardier


	34. Chapter 34

**Da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! More!**

**-Marseillaise**

* * *

***NEW RULE***

**YOU CANNOT REVIEW AS A CHARACTER, ONLY YOURSELF. THANKS.**

* * *

**Dear Thenardiers,**  
**so sorry about the last post. i give u a million billion francs XD! My psychotic summer school buddy, SAM, the nephew of the teacher there is going through a guinea pig obsession. so yeah. don't tell him but i've got the same opinion. anyway, there's this jerk at my teen group. i don't like him, sam doesn't like him, my boyfriend doesn't like him, not even the teachers like him! i want the patron-minette to kick his ass. that's what the money is for. i wanna see montparnasse get him with a knife. he gets 1 mil, but it isn't part of yours cuz i like u guys better.**  
**montparnasse,**  
**i give u 1 mil to kick matt ernst's ass in 2 weeks on a friday plz? (bats eyelashes all pretty) U DO NOT GET MY SERVICES I HAVE A HOT RICH BOYFRIEND WHO I'D DO ANYTHING 4!**  
**azelma,**  
**did life get better 4 u in USA?**  
**4 GODS SAKE DO NOT USE CAPS LOCK**

**(submitted by Iracabeth of Crims.3118**

Iracabeth-

….

Thénardier

Iracabeth-

I'm NOT USING CAPS LOCK IT'S THE SHIFT KEYYYY HAHA AND UM HI NOT REALLY WELL A LITTLE I GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUGAR.

aZELMA

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**¡Viva España! ¡Francia es horrible!**  
**And I have your red vest again. And I'm never giving it back, because you were rude to me. And I'm not going to start a revolution, because it worked so well for you guys, didn't it? And the society is so ruined that it's useless. What about when R asked to be executed with you? Were you still annoyed then? Enjolras es arrogante y no comprende Español. ¿Sí? Also, why am I still writing to you? You're mean. I actually back up the revolution. You cried when you shot that artillery officer, didn't you? Just wanted to remind you. And not all revolutionaries are good. Just meet Madame Defarge.**  
**Darci (there, happy? No other names, no abbreviations, just plain Darci)**

**Dear Combeferre,**  
**I did study. Did you study at the end of the year (1832)? Did the schoolyear end for you when the revolution sprung up, or did you just ignore school since you were plotting a revolution.**  
**Darci**

**Dear Victor Hugo,**  
**Okay, so what do the characters actually look like? Cosette has brown hair with blonde highlights, Enjolras is blonde, and Madame Thenardier is blonde. Can you clarify it with Eponine and Azelma? Because I'm still confused on the whole who has brown/black hair and who has chestnut hair. And is Feuilly a ginger? I feel like he is. I don't know why. **  
**Darci **

**Dear Rudy Manchego the mustache of Hadley Fraser,**  
**You. Are. Awesome.**  
**Darci**

**Dear Patria,**  
**Do you represent all motherlands and fatherlands or just France? Like can a Spanish guy be in love with his Patria, which would be Spain? Or will it be a Spanish form of Patria? Or Poland, Ireland, Britain, American, African, Asian, European, Brazilian? **  
**Darci **  
**P.S. Did you know that in Brazil they don't speak Spanish, they speak Portuguese. **

**Dear Amis,**  
**Are any of you multilingual (other than Marius and Jehan)?**  
**Darci**

**Dear R,**  
**What's your favorite Greek myth about Apollo? I like the one with Apollo and Hycanthius (spelling?). **  
**Darci**

Darci-

INSULTING FRANCE! HOW DARE YOU INSULT FRANCE! GIVE ME BACK MY VEST NOW. I WAS NOT ANNOYED OKAY I WAS A LITTLE IMPRESSED BECAUSE I BELIEVED HIM DOING SUCH A THING IMPOSSIBLE. AND YES, I CRIED. TAKING HUMAN LIFE IS A TERRIBLE THING TO DO, NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

-Enjolras

Darci-

I did study, though it was sometimes hard to fit in.

-Combeferre

Chère Darci-

Oui, Cosette has brown hair. Enjolras is blond, along with Mme. Thénardier. Éponine has brown hair that looks black because of dirt, and Azelma has chestnut hair. Feuilly is a ginger. For sure.

-Victor Hugo

Darci-

Thank you.

-Rudy

Darci-

"Patria", since it is English, is actually England. "Patrie", since it is French, is France. So you are correct.

And yes, I did know that. Or at least Marseillaise did.

-Patrie

Darci-

I (Combeferre) knows English, as does Enjolras. Feuilly tried learning Polish but it was hard.

-Combeferre, the official speaker for Les Amis

Darci-

…I don't know, actually…I like them all.

-R

* * *

**Yvjxfgbjjhbjfefujbffcxxxx YAYYYY YOU UPDATED!**  
**Dear Lucie,**  
**NEVER SAY GOODBYE! *sobsobsob***  
**Dear Courf,**  
**No, Maria's dating Erik. Duh.**  
**Dear Mme Defarge,**  
**Sure, as long as I get the hat.**  
**Ps. I don't see what's so evil about you... **  
**Dear Toby,**  
***hug***  
**Dear Éponine,**  
**Can you tell Sydney Carton (in the musical) to get a life and if he's going to sing on my own just sing it for pity's sake.**  
**Dear Musical Sydney Carton,**  
**Good God, man! Get a grip on yourself!**  
**Dear Hollandaise Marseille,**  
**When did everything become e/r?**

**(submitted by Om)**

* * *

Om-

NEVER LEAVE ME, STAY FOREVER! NEVER SAAAAY GOODBYE!

-Lucie

Om-

Wait, then who is dating Cheeto? But yeah, Maria and Erik it was. Okay.

-Courf

Om-

I'm not evil! I just love the Republic andalsokillingthebourgeoisscum. And here's a hat. A red revolutionary's cap.

-Mme Defarge

Dear Om-

*hug back*

Love Toby

Om-

Already done so. We have a wicked harmony version.

-Éponine

Om-

But…but…LUCIE…

-Musical Sydney Carton

Om-

I'm not making it any ship with Enjolras! He doesn't want any of it! No Enjonine, no E/R!

-…That was a cool name. Hollandaise Marseille. Huh. I LIKE IT. Anyways, from Jacques LeFebvre

* * *

**Dear Jolllly,**  
**OK, OK, I'm sorry, all right? But... I GOT IT ON VIDEO, HAHAHAHAHAHA! YOUR FACE! OK, I'm calm now. Sorry. **  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear Courfeyrac,**  
**It's just, uh...complicated... *Runs away* Cosette my friend: She's writing a fic on how you and... Me: BLOOD! Cosette my friend: *Faints***  
**You saw nothing.**  
**Except you're my favourite Ami.**  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear Azelma,**  
**Hello! By the way, did it you ever realize Eponine was in love? (Haven't read the Brick in a bit) P.S. I think you should have visited Eponine on the barricade. JK.**  
**Eponine Everdeen**

**Dear Thenardier,**  
**Are your relatives rats? Just wondering, no reason... *Cough* YOU'RE SO RODENT-LIKE *Cough***  
**Eponine Everdeen**

Éponine E-

…Excuse me?

-Joly

Éponine E-

…I don't date fangirls. I think I have already made that clear…

-Courf

Éponine E-

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII OMG NOOOOOOOOOOO I WAS LIKE KISSING PARNASSE I THINK OR SOMETHING JK JK JK I WAS….I DON'T REMEMBER…

-aZELMA

Éponine E-

Um, I don't think so.

-Thénardier

* * *

**Well, Mr Enjolras.**  
**Okay.**  
**You just don't date.**  
**Cool. So I guess you can have fun with that.**  
**But tell me this.**  
**If you found the right girl, would you date her, or no? Just wondering.**  
**-JC, the one who has lost the energy to argue with Enjolras**

JC-

Thank you for accepting that.

No. I don't date. No girls or boys or anything. Except France.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Valjean,**  
**So, if you had been Super-Saint Valjean during the Reign of Terror, would you have dressed up and saved aristos from the guillotine? I dearly like to think you would have. Sigh. If only the Bishop's influence had come sooner.**  
**OH MY ROBESPIERRE**  
**OH MY ROBESPIERRE**  
**Dear Charles-Francois Bienvenu Myriel,**  
**During the Reign of Terror, did you dress up and save aristos from the guillotine? Please say you did. Pretty please. Pretty please. With shiny silver on top.**  
**-Marguerite Blakeney**  
**Dear Grantaire-who-is-not-just-a-drunk,**  
**Are the best cakes really to be found at the Ermitage, on the Boulevard du Maine? Are they really? Also, are you happy or sad that the movie destroyed your extreme ugliness with the casting of demigod George Blagden? Which are you best at, fencing, boxing, or dancing? And what exactly IS a spatchcocked chicken?**  
**-Marguerite Blakeney, a member of the Grantaire-is-not-just-a-drunk society.**  
**Dear Mme T,**  
**You're a bloody wonder. Eminently practical and yet appropriate as always. *wink***  
**-Marguerite Blakeney**  
**Dear Javert,**  
**Will you, as Philip Quast, kindly sing 'Falcon in the Dive' for me? Because it kind of fits your character perfectly and I really want it to happen. (Note my NOT calling you Snookums...)**  
**-Marguerite Blakeney**  
**Dear Monty,**  
**Dude, you KNOW why the Lord created men. Keep flouncing your cravat.**  
**-Marguerite Blakeney**

…Marguerite…-

Um, no.

-Valjean & the Bishop

Marguerite-

Yes. Yes they are. No, not unhappy. Fencing. SWORDSSSS. I…don't remember. Was I drunk?

-R

Marguerite-

Um…

-Mme T

Marguerite-

No.

-Javert

Marguerite-

Yep. *wink* My cravat is flouncing away.

-Monty

* * *

**When I heard we could write to people from Tale if Two Cities I had to write to Sydney**  
**So here it is**  
**Sydney, **  
**I just finished tale of two cities five minutes ago literally and your death made me cry and I may or may not have called you darling Sydney a few times(is that ok?). I just wanted to thank you for being such a great person in what you did for them! I kind of love you a lot. Just thought you should know!**

**-Ariadne**

Ariadne-

It's okay, I suppose. Thank you…I appreciate your appreciation.

-Sydney Carton

* * *

**DON'T KILL ME PSYCHO!**  
**...I legitimately checked my window... just in case.**  
***shivers***  
**If you kill me, please have the decency to do it with witnesses on Le Cafe Mu(in)sain. I understand your guillotine and Georges are popular entertainment there. And also, Prouvaire and Combeferre are even now. :)**

**AJ**

AJ-

PROUVAIRE! PROUVAIRE! PROUVAIRE!

-Marseillaise

* * *

**AZELMA YOU FORGOT CAPS LOCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!**

**Mina. **  
**Who is disappointed.**

Mina-

WHAT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING LAST CHAPTER?!

aZELMA

Mina-

I took the liberty of answering for her so that no one would be offended by her hyperness.

-Éponine

* * *

**I FORGOT DESE ONES!**

**Dear Grantaire,**

**You are the definition of the lowest form of wit.**

**Mina xx**

**Dear Marseillaise,**

**BARRICADE.**

**Mina xx**

**Dear Les Amis,**

**Aaw, that sucks. I could tag you in all my photos. Oh well. I shall find Mars instead.**

**Mina x**

**Dear Enjolras,**

**ARE YOU ALIVE, YOU ALIVE, ARE YOU SO ALIVE? AND DO YOU FEED ON THE FEAR THAT'S BEHIND OUR EYES? **

**Well? DO YA?**

**Mina x**

**Dear Anybody Who Reads This,**

**I AM NOT THAT LADY FROM DRACULA! I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE THE SAME NAME AS HER, AND THAT SUCKS, BUT I ONLY FINISHED READING DRACULA THE OTHERDAY, AND EVERYTHING SUCKED. **

**Also, CHRISTINE AND RAOUL ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHERRRRR! WHO SHIPS IT?! And, another thing, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU POPULAR, BUT NOT QUITE AS POPULAR AS ME AND WHEN I GROW UP I WILL BE TALL ENOUGH TO REACH THE BRANCHES OF THE TREES YOU GET TO CLIMB WHEN YOU'RE GROWN UP! GREASE IS THE WORD PEEPS COZ I'M HOPELESSLY DEVOTED TO YOOOOOOOOU!**

**Mina**

Mina-

Why thank you.

-R

Mina-

BARRICADE. Who are you on IG?

-Marseillaise xx

Mina-

What? No. Tell Gabriel to leave this fandom. He is the personification of a mental illness, and I don't like him. At all.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Azelma,**  
**Tell me about yourself.**  
**-abbygoogle42**  
**Grantaire,**  
**Why have you never come up with a plan to get Enjolras drunk? I mean, duh.**  
**-abbygoogle42**  
**Navet,**  
**Hi!**  
**-abbygoogle42**  
**Gavroche,**  
**Hi!**  
**-abbygoogle42**  
**Eponine and Enjolras,**  
**I fully support the protest to make Enjonine stop. Come on, guys. Its getting irritating.**  
**-abbygoogle**  
**Courfeyrack,**  
**You are still the man.**  
**-abbygoogle42**  
**Cosette and Eponine,**  
**So a lot of people ship Esette. Thought?**  
**-abbygoogle42**  
**Natonal Gaurd,**  
**Kill yourselves. :)**  
**-abbygoogle42**

Abby-

WELL I LIKE COFFEE. AND ALSO NUTELLA AND MY LAPTOP AND I HAVE CHESTNUT HAIR AND BROWN EYES AND I LIKE FENCING AND R FENCES WITH ME BUT HE'S BETTER. AND SOMETIMES R LETS ME DRINK HIS VODKA WHICH IS GOOD. AND YEAH. R IS THE BEST OF THE AMIS. LIKE YES. AND ALSO SYDNEY BUT I THINK HE LOVESEPONINFHGSDGHA;ODS';LKF;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;

NOTHING. Sorry, I had to steal the laptop so nothing was revealed...

-Éponine AND AZELMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA1!

Abby-

Um, _I have._ Several times. It never works…

-R

Abby-

'Ello!

-Navet & Gavroche

Abby-

Thank you!

-Éponine and Enjolras

Abby-

Thanks! And there's no k on the end of my name. It's Courfeyrac. Or Courf.

-Courf

Abby-

Éponine is… unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe…

-Cosette

Blonde.

-Éponine

(sorry, I couldn't resist! –Marseillaise)

* * *

**Dear Fantine:**

**First: I honestly think people should write to you more, there were a lot of questions unanswered about you!**  
**Second: Just out of plain curiosity, do you think Marius is good enough for Cosette?**

**And, Dear Eponine:**

**Me again! So, I was wondering, which one of Les Amis do you get along the best with (Besides Marius of course :) –Jeanne**

Dear Jeanne-

Well, if they both love each other unconditionally, then Marius' social standing doesn't matter at all, does it? But I do approve of the boy.

-Fantine

Jeanne-

R…he is great to Azelma and relatable and a good drinking buddy...

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Enjolras**  
**Dont want to persuade Amis to travel to 21st Century and start a revolution of some kind? Believe me, there are still loads of ujust and stupid people in the world.**  
**Your Alopex**

**And Comberferre, **  
**please, tell me which one is your favourite philosopher?**  
**Your Alopex**

Alopex-

We can't time travel. Technically, we all just live inside Marseillaise's house…

-Enjolras

Alopex-

I like Rousseau for his views on the revolution, and his eloquence.

-Combeferre

* * *

**Dear Marius,**  
**Do you love Eponine? Even a little? As a friend?**  
**Love, Nana**

**Dear Eponine,**  
**Do you love any other Amis besides Marius? Like Enjolras? Hmmm?**  
**Love, Nana**

Nana-

Not really. She gets annoying. Like, really annoying.

-Marius

YOU…FINE. I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE, EITHER. SO _THERE._

-Éponine

Nana-

I don't like Marius anymore. And I might have a crush. It isn't Enjolras…

-Éponine

* * *

**MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

**A cookie for the person who guesses Éponine's crush. -Marseillaise**

**And remember, please don't review as a fictional character. It prevents OOC-ness. Thanks!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Hey guys! A cookie to Psycho and Darci. And HAPPY BASTILLE DAY EVE!**

**-Marseillaise**

**Azelma, **  
**You and I would be BFF's. you seem very hyper. **  
**-Abby**  
**Little Boys Who Are Gavroche, Eponine, and Azelmas Brothers,**  
**Tell me about yourselves.**  
**-Abby**  
**Javert,**  
**Do you have a secerate crush on ValJean? Cuz, I dont ship that. At. All.**  
**-Abby**  
**Mme. T,**  
**Why are you so awful. How do you live with yourself. Despicable.**  
**-Abby**

Abby-

WHY THANK YOU I AGREE.

-aZELMA

Abby-

Well we're called whatever we want! And we rock this thang. We do cool stuff. Like prank wars. THEY'RE AMAZING PRANK WARS LIKE SERIOUSLY. COURF HAS THE BIGGEST COLLECTION OF SQUIRT GUNS ON THE PLANET.

-the Momes

Abby-

Ew, no. I just want to find him and bring him to justice!

-Inspector Javert, Paris Prefecture of Police

Abby-

*troll face*

-Mme T

* * *

**Dear Marseillaise,**  
**Éponines crush is SYDNEY CARTON. And i got that reference with Cosette and eponine and their answers! Also, can we write to POTO characters? **  
**Darci**

**Dear Combeferre,**  
**Wasn't Rousseau a 'lovely lady' if you know what I mean? Because in my textbook it said that he was 'the paid lover of an older woman'**  
**Darci**

**Dear Azelma,**  
**How was America? Did you witness the American Civil War? You would have been like 40. **  
**Darci**

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**Gabriel kind of freaked me out when I found out that he was...you know...**  
**I DON'T BELIEVE IN SPOILERS**  
**And you killed la cabeuc guy, I'm not that great at spelling.**  
**What about dorky mike? Or FIYERO! FIYERO reminds me of Raoul...no idea why. Maybe it was the green suit? Raoul wears. Jacket like that suit which is like your red vest at the masquerade. I mean Raoul at the masquerade, not you.**  
**Darci**

**Dear Rudy,**  
**Are you real? Like did the Hadley actually grow you? Or are you as fake as Enjy's hair? Cause Aaron T wore a wig.**  
**Darci**

Darci-

Heh. And yay! I thought I was being soooo clever. And sure, why not? They're French, right? (except Christine, who is, in fact, Swedish)

-Marseillaise

Darci-

….Rousseau was a brilliant, if not perfect, man.

-Combeferre

Darci-

YAH THER WAS THIS WAR AND PAPA STOLE THINGS FROM DEAD PEOPLE AND EWWW AND STUFF YEAH.

-aZELMA

Darci-

Exactly. Gabriel…Just because he's played by Aaron Tveit doesn't mean I have to like him. And yes, I did. Because he had shot an innocent woman. And…I'm confused…

-Enjolras

Darci-

I'm fake. But I'm still awesome.

-Rudy Manchego

Enjolfrance-  
So… You date France? Okay…  
What did you think about France helping the USA in the American Revolution?  
-JC, the one who loves France as well, but just as a friend

JC-

I thought it was brilliant. The French needed to see their allies win. It gave them hope, and they realized that it was humanly possible.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Courf, **  
**He's dating AZELMA. Duh. I think you're dating Meg, but don't worry because I believe that Love Never Dies should not be allowed to exist. **  
**Dear Psycho,**  
**MAILBOX.**  
**Dear Enjolras,**  
**His Royal Highness Prince Alan of Haylemm wants to say don't even THINK about starting a revolution.**  
**Dear Fantine,**  
**Lady Selia says hi.**  
**Dear Valjean,**  
**Leif says I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.**  
**Dear Everyone,**  
**Leif also says GET A LIFE and GO DIE IN A HOLE.**  
**Please excuse him.**

**-Om**

Om-

No! I'm dating the seamstress from ATOTC, remember? Marguerite!

-Courf

And I ditched Cheeto for 'Parnasse, because he's more macho.

-Azelma (Edidted into non- caps-lock by Combeferre)

Om-

Tell Alan that revolutions are the braises in progress, and are not caused by mere human want, but by the needs of a nation. And tell him that Marseillaise hates him.

-Enjolras

Om-

Um, great. Hi, Lady Selia.

-Fantine

Om-

It sucks being stuck in prison for a small thing…

-Valjean

Om-

But Leif is the only awesome character aside from Pierre! (who you may or may not remember) And Selia, aka Jacques, and Jaques street, and Barricade Lane!

-Marseillaise

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts**  
**There they are standing in a row**  
**Big ones**  
**Small ones**  
**Some as big as your head**  
**Give'em a twist**  
**A flick of the wrist**  
**cause that's what the showman said**

**-RandomPerson**

RandomPerson-

Coconuts? English sparrows or African sparrows?

-Courfeyrac (sshhhh I hacked…if you got that tell me because that is wonderful…)

* * *

**Eponine's crush... is... um... Courfeyrac? I don't know, thought I'd try for the cookie, anyways.**

**Dear Les Amis(besides Enjolras),**  
**Who do you ship yourselves with? In other words, who do you fancy in a romantic fashion?**

**Dear Fantine,**  
**I had seven teeth pulled recently. It probably wasn't as bad for me, because here in the 21st century, we have tools that aid in the suppression of suffering in surgical operations(aka anaesthesia), but I feel like I understand your suffering at that point better after that experience. And knowing that you went through a similar predicament yourself helped me get through mine. So thank you for that.**

**AJ**

AJ-

Nope! Not Courfeyrac, sorry!

AJ-

Musichetta, of course.

-Joly and Bossuet

Marguerite!

-Courfeyrac

I…love everybody…marseillaise

-Jehan

Meg…

-Combeferre

Cosette…

-Marius and Derek

Enjolras…

-R

Ain't nobody got time fo dat! But her name's Genevieve.

-Bahorel

Éponine

-Feuilly

Ouch! I'm glad I could help you!

-Fantine

* * *

**And Eponine has a crush on Derek, because I ship Derponine. Although it's probably R. And Sydney Carton is not a barricade boy!**

**-Om**

No! We shipped Cosette with Derek, remember? Because she's perfect!

-Marseillaises

* * *

**Dear Sydney,**  
**Where did you learn to talk like you do in the book? It's really eloquent and I really want to talk like that! Did you learn at law school or something? What does one learn at law school in the eighteen hundreds law school? One more: what do you like to drink, just curious.**  
**Thank you,**

**The Dauphine**

Dauphine-

Thank you. Yes, I suppose I learned at law school, though I never really took it seriously. I learned lots of things, to be sure, but I didn't use them. And I like to drink most alcoholic things.

-Sydney Carton

* * *

**Dear Everybody**  
**The revoluton has already been, hasnt it? What I mean nis that all of you, expect Marius and Cosette and Thenardier couple are actually dead. I really dont want to be rude, but frankly, WHAT IS THE PLACE YOU WRITE FROM?**

**Dear Enjolras**  
**Acording to this fact, do you realize that your lovely France has practically killed you? Only mantis female do that to their male and I dont think you have mantises in your family tree. **

**Dear Victor Hugo**  
**I just realized that you left ALL YOUR GOOD CHARACTERS TO DIE! That really is not nice of you! You are almost like that autors from the age between two world wars, the loved to kill everybody because they were depressed. Were you depressed? What do you think about it guys?**

**PS: Ejolras, dont worry I dont want to put you together with Eponine or somebody...just maybe to edit your value pyramid.**

**Your loving Alopex (who really didnt want to offend anybody)**

Alopex-

Marseillaise's room.

-Combeferre

Alopex-

Black widows also do that. And no, I died for France. Just as Éponine died for Marius, I died for what I love.

-Enjolras.

I DO NOT LOVE MARIUS!

-Éponine

Alopex-

I did.

-Victor Hugo

Alopex-

Thank you.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Marius, Cosette, sorry!**  
**According to my last post it seems I think you are not good characters. Thats not true. However as I think about it, maybe people are not interested in you so much, because you HAD the happy ending. You two are ideal. People tend to like problematic or tragic people more. **  
**For ex. they like Enjolras more than Combeferre despite the fact he is stubborn and even potentionally dangerous (when it comes to politics), and Combeferre is calm, bookish and kind. Or they like Eponine more than you, Cosette, while she is dirty, undereducated and rude. But she didnt get enough love, what makes us feel sorry for her and think out new stories...**

**Alopex**

Alopex-

I agree. Just because we got to live, albeit traumatically and depressingly, with all our friends dead, they all hate us.

-Marius and Cosette

* * *

**Dear Eponine,**  
**Do you have any idea WHY people ship you with Enjolras? It's weird. Also, you and Marius would be perfect together. Just putting that out there. Several questions:**  
**1. Which do you prefer, frosting or icing?**  
**2. Favorite book?**  
**3. What are your feelings about duct tape?**  
**4. What were you do if you were Queen of the World for a day?**  
**5. Ever seen any Monty Python skits? If so, which one was your favorite?**  
**6. What would happen if a question mark and an exclamation point fused into one punctuation mark?**  
**7. Puppies.**  
**8. Thoughts on people relating you to the forever alone meme?**  
**you good at ice skating?**  
**10. Do you play any sports?**  
**11. Favorite comic book hero?**  
**Sorry, I only meant to have one or two, relevant questions, but it escalated really quickly and my train of thought derailed. Still, I expect an answer!**  
**-Awesomeness**

Awesomeness-

I honestly have no idea…And no. Marius and I would not be perfect. I DON'T LOVE MARIUS ANYMORE!

…Frosting!

A Tale of Two Cities.

I love duct tape! Like, I love it! Sometimes I tie people up in it!

I would make the world the way it ought to be. And I would squish my parents. And then I would do lots of fun things.

An exclaquestion mark, duh.

Kittens!

I'm not forever alone! Just…always on my own….

No. I suck at ice skating.

I fence with R sometimes.

The Flash.

-Éponine

* * *

**Dear Courfeyrac,**  
**...I'm not asking to date you. Of course you've made it clear that you don't date fangirls... *Sob* So never mind. **  
**Eponine Everdeen/Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Jolllly,**  
**It's a thing called a camera that I pointed at you and took a picture of your face when I told you I had pneumonia so i can cherish it for eternity and show all my friends. AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Azelma,**  
**I really like your name. Seriously. My kids are going to be named Azelma and Jacob. MWAHAHAHA IN YOUR FACE COSETTE MY FRIEND! YOU SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE! BUT IT WILL BE! IN ABOUT TWENTY OR THIRTY YEARS! P.S. You kissed 'Parnasse?! OMG YOU ARE THE LUCKIEST KID EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR...**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Everyone,**  
**My annoying sister Sara forced me to share my account, so now Eponine Everdeen is Eponine-NellieL. I'm so sorry. Take it up with Sara. **  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Eponine,**  
**I'm confused. must someone be an alto or a mezzo-soprano to get your part in the musical? It's my ideal part, but people say the required voice is a mezzo-soprano and I'm an alto, plus you said alto is the voice type. So help? (I really need this part. Like, seriously. It's MAH DREEEEEEAAAM)**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Combeferre,**  
**Dost thee enjoy the works of William Shakespeare?**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Marseillaise,**  
**Seriously, I'm not reviewing as a fictional character. Eponine Everdeen42 WAS my pen name, but Sara made me change it, we spent hours thinking of a pen name we both thought worked, and in the end this came up. **  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Rudy Manchego, the Mustache of Hadley Fraser,**  
**Have you ever been tempted to transfer to another owner? Because Hadley Fraser ordered his mindless moron men to kill all those awesome barricade boys? Hm?**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Montparnasse,**  
**Have you ever kissed Azelma at all? (Just clarifying a certain reply to a letter I sent)**  
**Eponine-NelllieL**

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**Your soul needs a hug. *Hugs* OMIGOD I HUGGED ENJOLRAS OMIGOD I'M SOOOO TELLING MY FRIENDS! I HUGGED ENJOLRAS!**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

Éponine N-

I'm dating Marguerite, sorry.

-Courf

Éponine N-

That was cruel.

-Joly. Only my _friends_ can call me Jolllly.

Éponine N-

AWESOME I ALWAYS WANTED PEOPLE NAMED AFTER ME! AND YEAH I KISSED PARNASSE…SORRY, CHEETO…BUT I THINK I LIKE HIM BETTER. HE'S KILLED LIKE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE AND YOU ONLY KILLED ONE. SO HE'S MORE MACHO.

-aZELMA

Éponine N-

That's okay…

-Combeferre

Éponine N-

You need to be a mezzo-soprano (Marseillaise does a little happy dance because she's a mezzo and can do all of Éponine's notes). I think you can almost do it in an alto, though. I mean, I bet you could! You could also transpose everything half an octave lower.

-Éponine T

Éponine N-

-That's fine! I get it. I just meant the reviews that say like "Marry me. –Enjolras" for example.

-Marseillaise

Éponine N-

NO WAY! I'M LOYAL TO HADLEY!

-Rudy Manchego

Éponine N-

Yes. Many times.

-Montparnasse

Éponine N-

…I think I was just physically assaulted.

-Enjolras

* * *

**And yeah, Éponine x Sydney Carton's a thing. Because this is me, and my fic, and I couldn't resist.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Firstly- oh my barricade. I am SO sorry for kind of abandoning this! Please forgive me!**

**-Marseillaise**

**Secondly- there is no secondly, I just like that it's a word. fourthly is also a word. and ninthly.**

* * *

**Well, we also shipped... The ship which must not be named...**  
**Dear Mars,**  
**Leif says thanks, Selia says she's flattered, and Corrina says AND IM NOT AWESOME? I ONLY DRESSED UP AS A BOY AND JOINED THE ARMY! Pierre is too drunk to answer. ( and for everyone for whom this makes no sense, I'm sorry. I write, like Psycho and Mars, but not fanfiction. These are the fabulous figments of my imagination.)**  
**Dear Enjolras,**  
**Revolutions are all fine and dandy when you're not the CROWN PRINCE! And Mars... You won't be laughing when TEAM SONDHEIM KICKS YOUR BUTT!**  
**Sincerely, Prince Alan**  
**Dear Victor Vinge, **  
**You. Are. Awesome. (Yeah, whatevs, but he's FRENCH.)**  
**Dear Phantom,**  
**RAAAAMIIIN!**  
**Dear Raoul,**  
**HAAAAADLEEEY!**  
**Dear everyone,**  
**TEAM SONDHEIM OR TEAM FRANCE?**

**-Om**

Om-

Meh. Tell Corrina she is not awesome, she is beyond awesome. But…but…Pierre! And the ship which must not be named…I don't ship it anymore because I ship Enjolras with NOBODY and Éponine with Sydney Carton :)

-Marseillaise

Om-

…Revolutions are only good when necessary. I do not advocate bloodshed.

-Enjolras

Om-

Yes, yes I am. En garde!

-Victor Vinge

Om-

…what?

-Erik

Om-

…excuse me? That's not my name.

-Raoul

Om-

TEAM FRANCE!  
-Everyone.

(ha)

Enjolras-

* * *

**Oh my goodness, that is exactly how I feel. Finally, someone to have a good, educated conversation with.**  
**-JC, the one who is edumacated**

JC-

*nods*

-Enjolras

* * *

**Enjolras,**  
**YOU ARE ENJOLRAS! And i was noting the similarities between you, Raoul, and Fiyero. JACKET-WISE. well, vest-wise for you. And yeah, it would be weird for Grantaire to like the Army Officer just because both of them are played by Hadley Fraser. Characters are different than actors. Actors are different than characters.**  
**Darci**

**Dear Javert,**  
**Are you a Dr. Horrible or a Captain Hammer? Who do you relate most to?**  
**Darci**  
**P.S. it's from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog**

**Dear Fantine,**  
**Do you mother Eponine and Gavroche in heaven?**  
**Darci**

**Dear Raoul,**  
**Don't worry, I think you should be with Christine and that you aren't awful.**  
**Darci**

**Dear Marius,**  
**I like Napoleon too! Let's be friends!**  
**Darci**

Darci-

Indeed.

-Enjolras

Darci-

…what?

-Inspector Javert, Paris Prefecture of Police

Darci-

Thank you!

-Raoul

Darci-

Okay!

-Marius

* * *

**Eponine,**  
**Yes, yes you do deserve a happy ending. **

**Cosette,**  
**I'm sorry so many people feel that way...most - like me - are just jealous their own favorite characters didn't get a happy ending. Still, I wish you well.**

**The Bishop, the Nuns, and All the Soldiers at Waterloo,**  
**Oh, don't cry, it's not you're fault you're overlooked-the story is still about you - you just...well...you're not Jean Valjean. Sorry. **

**You're obedient servant,**  
**Lady Spindle. **  
**PS This made me smile. :)**

Lady Spindle-

Thank you!

-Éponine

Lady Spindle-

…okay.

-Cosette

Lady Spindle-

*frowny face*

-The Bishop, the Nuns, and All the Soldiers at Waterloo

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**Do you enjoy the works of Aeschylus?**

**-RandomPerson**

RP-

Somwhat, yes. Do you?

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Enjolras**  
**Are you always so polite?**  
**Dear Combeferre**  
**You never get REALLY angry, do ya?**  
**Alopex**

Alopex-

Yes.

-Enjolras

Alopex-

Not really, no. It isn't in my nature.

-Combeferre

* * *

**Dear Joly,**  
**I'm not your friend? *Sniffle* FINE THEN! I'M JUST GONNA DROWN MY SORROWS IN THE CLIQUE NOVELS AND YOU'LL BE SORRY!**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Rudy Manchego,**  
**But seriously. He killed, like, so many hot guys. **  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Eponine,**  
**THANK YOU FOR CLARIFYING! This part is my absoloute dream (I DREAMED A DREAM IN TIME GONE BY!) and I reaaally hate the feeling of confuzzledness. (You're my double favourite character now.) :D**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**By the way, our little lives DO count at all. Because I'm gonna be an author and a GREAT ECCENTRIC COLLEGE PROFESSOR SO I CAN EDUCATE THE WORLD! AND I WILL BE FAMOUS! AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM HUGGING YOU!**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Cosette,**  
**So I'm guessing you inherited your hair colour from Tholomyes, correct? **  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Fantine,**  
**I think you are sooooo cool. Like, awesome cool. Because you *Cough* Destroyed your life for your child who for all you know could have been dead fifteen years ago *Cough***  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Montparnasse,**  
**Your soul needs a hug too. *Hugs* OMIGOD HEY ENJY AND COSETTE MY FRIEND GUESS WHAT I HUGGED 'PARNASSE AND I DIDN'T GET SAVAGELY MURDERED! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**  
**Eponine-NelllieL**

**Dear Courfeyrac,**  
**That's cool. I'm fine. *Bursts into tears* No, no I'm fine, seriously. I'm happy for you. *Runs away* SARA! I NEED THAT DROWNING YOUR SORROWS APP ON YOUR PHONE AGAIN!**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Thenardier,**  
**The guy on Today Show called you a "corrupt innkeeper who would do anything for a quick buck." His words, not mine. ARE YOU SUPPORTIVE OF THAT DESCRIPTION?**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Everyone (Sorry Combeferre),**  
**Each time I review, I will say if I am Eponine everdeen or Sara (NellieL). So if Sara finds this fic... not my fault, okay?**  
**Eponine-NellieL**

**Dear Jehan Prouvaire,**  
**Tips on Secret Admirer Poetry? There's this one guy (Like, my third crush) and he's sooo awesome, except I barely know him, and I kinda want to leave him bits of poetry, gradually get to know him better, and then sign one poetry paper with my name. Too cliche? 'Cuz, you know, I'm a romance freak. :)**

ENL-

…I'm sorry?

-Joly

ENL-

Meh. He is awesome.

-Rudy Manchego

ENL-

Awh, thanks! You'll be brilliant, I'm sure.

-Éponine

ENL-

Actually, I've had quite the experience running from girls determined to hug…or kiss…or publicly rape me. So I can, in fact, run quite fast.

-Enjolras

People tried to rape Enjy? *laugh*

-R

ENL-

*savagely murders you*

-'Parnasse

ENL-

Sorry. It just ends too badly.

-Courfeyrac

ENL-

Very supportive. He didn't even mention my major crimes!

-Thénardier

ENL-

That's fine.

-Combeferre (I don't really mind answering :) )

ENL-

Not too cliché. Leave short notes first, that aren't completely sappy. Bonne chance! And there's nothing wrong with being a romance freak.

-Jehan

* * *

**Yo Jehan. Yo Jehan. Can you judge this thingy I made?**

**Enjonine Anthem**

**Hail to Red, hail to Black!**  
**We ship Enjonine, that's a fact!**  
**The gamine and the god, Apollo and Daphne,**  
**Orpheus and Eurydice, they're sweeter than candy!**

**Enjolras and Éponine, France's Greatest Couple!**  
**Others may hate it, but they're just so adorable!**  
**Even if they haven't even seen each other,**  
**We believe they're perfect together!**

**The FanFics they have will make you smile,**  
**The feels they give will make it worthwhile.**  
**Hail to Enjolras and Éponine!**  
**They make one great ship: ENJONINE!**

**Please deem it worthy.**

**-MyNameIsLuka**

MNIL-

Um…I don't think Enjolras or Éponine would be happy about that at all…

-Prouvaire

* * *

**Victor Hugo**  
**You didn't give me a proper andswer. Having a depression again?**  
**Alopex**

Alopex-

Mmm.

-M. Hugo

* * *

**Dear Javert,**  
**Do you like pizza?**  
**- Anon.**

Anon-

…No.

-Inspector Javert, Paris Prefecture of Police

* * *

**Dear Everybody**  
**By the way, I admire Marseillaise that she survives it, with all of you together in one room :D **

**after all, I admire YOU too, that you survive it with each other.**

**Enolras, how do your idillic ideas come to terms with Javerts ?**  
**or National Guards?**  
**Alopex**

Alopex-

It is…difficult sometimes, but she only keeps a few of us around full time- Enjolras, me (Combeferre), Jehan, Sydney Carton, and Cosette. The others are too annoying sometimes. Especially R.

-Combeferre

Alopex-

It's...complicated. We don't talk much. or at all.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Joly,**  
**Do you consider WebMD a reliable source of information on illnesses?**  
**-MEEP**

MEEP-

It depends. Sometimes, but you should definitely go to a doctor as well, and get a prescription, and as quick as possible too, and probably not eat or drink anything with someone else and keep all your possessions to yourself and make sure to go to sleep pointed north and drink plenty of water anddlkgdhbsfxj vk,n

Yes, Joly that's good. Now you're going to frighten MEEP.

-Joly and Bossuet

* * *

**Marseillaise,**  
**Please, please, PLEASE don't make this story rated T. I'm not allowed to read anything above K. Bleh. **  
**-MEEP**

**Enjolras,**  
**May I join the Revolution? I will provide ammo.**  
**-MEEP**

**Combeferre,**  
**Do you sleep with a pink teddy bear called Snuffly?**  
**-MEEP**

**Les Amis,**  
**Has Enjolras ever gotten drunk, and if so, what did he do?**  
**-MEEP**

**Cossette,**  
**I don't understand why people hate you so much. I mean, you seem a little boring, but that's because in the book you were pretty much an instrument to move the plot along and there wasn't a lot of character development, so really it's Victor Hugo's fault. You seem OK to me.**  
**-MEEP**

**Azelma,**  
**Why would anyone ever let you have sugar or caffeine? That's like a one-way trip to crazy land.**  
**-MEEP**

MEEP-

Euh…I can't decide, so it's staying K+ for now.

-Marseillaise

MEEP-

Of course. As long as you truly believe in the cause, and are not just here because you know Courfeyrac or someone.

-Enjolras

MEEP-

…No.

-Combeferre

MEEP-

Um, yes, he has and no, we aren't saying.

-Combeferre (the speaker)

MEEP-

Thank you. I don't understand it either.

-Cosette

MEEP-

NO REALLY SUGAR GAWKAWP;SJ LIKE REALLY CAFFEINE I DISCOVERED IT ITS COURFEYRACS FAULTA O;HG'

-aZELMA

* * *

**Dear Eponine,**

**Of course you deserve a happy ending! In this book you die for Maruis. Maruis does NOT deserve you. I suggest that when ever you see Maruis you should either kick his butt, embarrass him in public, or annoy him to death**  
**Sincerely,**  
**E. Luci**

**Dear Cosette,**

**You had a happy ending. LOOK AT EPONINE! She is waring dirty rags for clothes! She loved Maruis so much that she died for him. SHE deserves a happy ending,not a tragic , ALL the revolutionaries deserve all happy ending.**  
**Sincerely,**  
**E. Luci**

E. Luci-

Thank you.

-Éponine

E. Luci-

Yes, she did…but that doesn't mean I don't…

-Cosette

* * *

**My dearest Amis!**

**Its me again, Im quite active today, huh...**  
**Well I have two question for all of you. **  
**Firstly, are the names you go by in the book your names or family names? I have been thinking about it recently.**

**The second one will make one person angry...**  
**Honestly people, tell me, what would Enjolras make angrier? If I told him France is horrible country, if I claimed he and Eponine are the nicest couple in the 19th Century, or If I said he is cute?**  
**Just thinking if something can hurt his marble soul...**

**Alopex**

Alopex-

Our family names. We didn't get first names, except Jehan.

-Combeferre

Alopex-

…Not answering that.

-Combeferre

* * *

**Dear Les Amis,**

**I feel the need to rant. Here, listen:**

**OK, SO I GAVE MY WELSH FRIEND KAY THE PASSWORD TO MY INSTAGRAM, SO IT WOULD NOT BE FORGETTEN AND THEN I PROMPTLY FORGOT THE PASSWORD SO I TEXTED KAY ASKING HER WHAT IT WAS AND THEN SHE DIDN'T REPLY WHICH IS JUST MEAN AND SHE'S NOT PICKING UP HER PHONE WHICH IS RUDE. SO YEAH. IT'S NOT FAIR.**

**It wasn't actually that long a rant. Oh well.**

**Mina x**

**Dear Meg Giry,**

**Would you ever consider going out with Erik?**

**Mina x**

**Dear Erik,**

**Would you ever consider going out with Meg?**

**Mina x**

**Dear Les Amis, Éponine, Cosette, Marius and Marseillaise,**

**WE NEED A BARRICADE SLEEPOVER SO BAD. LOOK. I NEED SOMEONE TO WATCH GREASE WITH. AND LES MIZ. I haven't watched either of them in like two days. And I have popcorn and doughnuts, and I also have this cheese that is really nice. We can also go iceskating. Because dat would be AWESOME.**

**Mina x**

**Dear Enjolras,**

**I unprepared the sections at Notre Dame. Soz.**

**Mina x**

**Dear Feuilly,**

**If Éponine rejects you, my friend Kay is available, OK?**

**Mina x**

**Dear Joly, **

**If Musichetta ever dumps you, I am so around.**

**Mina x**

**Dear Everyone,**

**Do you like Percy Jackson? If so, do you ship Percy with Rachel or Annabeth? And if you ship Percy with Annabeth, do you ship Rachel with Leo? Coz it should be a thing guys.**

**Mina x**

Mina-

Awh, dangit. That's why you left I suppose. Make another account? I'm still team_france.

-Marseillaise

Mina-

Hum…maybe, if he was nice.

-Meg

Mina-

CHRISTINE SHE IS NOT CHRISTINE

-O. G.

Mina-

YES. YES THAT MUST HAPPEN.

-Marseillaise plus all of the Les Mis characters

Mina-

…WTAH? Why?

-Enjolras

Mina-

Okay. Hi, Kay. :)

-Feuilly

Mina-

I doubt she would, but okay.

-Joly

Mina-

Yesh. And Percabeth is wonderful. …Lechel? Or Reo? I agree. Should be a thing.

-Combeferre

* * *

**Everyone,**  
**Can any of you dance?**  
**Abby**

**Azelma**  
**Do you like rap music? Also, we should go skydiving together.**  
**Abby**

**Gavroche**  
**Where did you get your pistol?**  
**Abby**

**Navet**  
**Are you seceratly a pirate?**  
**Abby**

Abby-

Enjolras can…and Courfeyrac is really good. Grantaire _thinks_ he can. And Cosette can.

-Combeferre

Abby-

YES YES THAT IS AWESOME YES

-aZELMA

Abby-

It's Javert's :P

-Gav

Abby-

Yeah! Me an' Jack Sparrow an' R.

-Navet

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**Is it true you have a thing for Grantaire? ;)**  
**Adrianna**

**Dear Lucie**  
**WHY CANT YOU LOVE SYDNEY CARTON?! ASLDFAHS;IGHA;FA;LDFJA;SLDFJA;LSDFJA;OWIR**  
**Adrianna**

**Dear Marseillaise and Psycho,**  
**Great story! You guys are AWESOME! And I ship Lucie/Sydney! I'm BFFs with Darci :)**  
**Adrianna**

**Dear Sydney,**  
**You should have been with Lucie. I ship it. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DIED! As I ship it, it shall be done.**  
**Adrianna**

Adrianna-

No, it is not true.

-Enjolras

Why isn't it true. Can it be true?

-R

Adrianna-

Because I love Charles…I love Sydney too, but just as a friend.

-Lucie

Adrianna-

Thankya! Coolio, I ship Sydney/Éponine n stuff.

-Marseillaise (Psycho quit)

Adrianna-

Thank you.

-Sydney Carton

* * *

**Dear Everyone,**  
**Do you get to watch Les Miserables with Marseillaise or does she make you stay in her room?**

**Dear Jean Valjean,**  
**Why didn't you steal cheese or meat instead? They're more filling and you were going to eat it right away anyway.**

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**If Lamarque hadn't died, when would the revolutionaries have rebelled?**

**Dear Javert,**  
**The lawr has been mocked. By the Texas government, who mocked their own lawrs.**

**AJ**

AJ (sawry we haven't been on abaisse :( )

Of course she lets us.

-Combeferre

AJ-

Because…the bakery smelled good?

-Jean Valjean

AJ-

…At some point. Perhaps the anniversary of the Bastille storming.

-Enjolras

AJ-

nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-Javert

* * *

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**I love you and it's my goal in life to irritate you. Mainly cause you're cute when you're mad. And I have to ask, is your hair magic?**  
**Virtual hugs and kisses,**  
**Iceflower**  
**Dear Éponine,**  
**You are my favorite besides Enjolras. And I have one question for you. WHY YOU NO LOVE ENJOLRAS? You'd be BEAUTIFUL together. 3**  
**Iceflower**  
**Dear R,**  
**Wanna start an Enjolras fan club?**  
**Dear Couf,**  
**If I remember correctly that's from Monty Python and the Holy grail. If so I LOVE YOU. (Almost as much as Enjy.) **  
**Saying NEE!**  
**Iceflower**  
**Dear Amis,**  
**Who wants to join the Derrick awareness club?**  
**Iceflower**

Iceflower-

I hate you and would you please go away. Thank you.

-Enjolras

(awh, enjy, that was harshhhh…

-courf)

Iceflower-

…Because I just don't! I think I love Sydney, and that's all.

-Éponine

Iceflower-

Sure!

-R

Iceflower-

MONTY PYTHON IS CORRECT!

-Courfeyrac, saying EKIS EKIS EKIS

Iceflower-

Um, we're already in it. He's like, our friend.

-Combeferre

* * *

**Dear Charles Darnay,**

**Marseillaise said that I could have you as my muse, because she told me that she had Sydney but I wanted Sydney but I couldn't have Sydney because she had Sydney, so he said I could have you. So yay. Except I haven't actually read the book I've just seen the musical so I don't know you that well. Oh well. :D**

**Anna xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**Dear Raoul,**

**Did you know there are people who ship you with Erik? Are you mentally scarred by this revelation?**

**Anna xoxoxoxoxoxo**

**Dear Éponine,**

**Well. I was watching Carrie Hope Fletcher who plays you on the West End. Yeah, well I was watching her YouTube videos and apparently she wants to be a Disney Princess. Do you want to be a Disney Princess?**

**Anna xoxoxoxoxo**

**Dear Everyone,**

**Which Disney Princess do you think Éponine would be?**

**Anna xoxoxoxoxo**

**Dear Marseillaise,**

**THE HEAVENS SEEM AN INCH AWAY AND NOT UNFRIENDLY AFTER ALL!**

**Anna xoxoxoxoxox**

Anna-

:) you should read the book, I'm awesome.

-Charles Darnay

Anna-

YES THAT IS DISGUSTING EW NO I HATE HIM NO NO NO

-Raoul

Anna-

Oh my gosh I was drunk and Courfeyrac- no. Just no.

-Éponine

I REMEMBER THAT OMG THAT WAS HILARIOUS YOU STOOD ON THE TABLE AND PRETENDED TO BE A MERMAID AND A TALKING CRAB BAHAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS EP!

-Courf

Anna-

The Little Mermaid…it was Courfeyrac's idea and she was drunk and Courfeyrac somehow got her to sing "under the sea" while in a fish tail…

-Combeferre

Anna-

I remember you from IG!

IF LIFE WAS EVER QUITE THIS SWEET… I CAN'T REEECAAALL! (metallic guillotine crash SOB)

-Marseillaise

* * *

**I forgot about these questions a while back.**

**Dear Eponine,**  
**I heard (well, read) about what happened in Chapter 34. I'm so sorry about the whole Marius thing. Would you like a hug?**

**Dear Les Amis,**  
**How does it feel knowing that you guys have fangirls?**

**-Jeanne**

Jeanne-

Yeah…thanks. *hug back*

-Éponine

Jeanne-

Well…actually it's really creepy…Courfeyrac thinks it's funny but even he won't date one.

-Combeferre

* * *

**BWAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH I'M IN NEW YORK CITY BWAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE EPIC! Cosette My Friend: Go home, Eponine E. You're drunk on iced tea. Me: YOU JUST WANT MY ICED TEA! I HUGGED PARNASSE AND ENJY! Ahem. I am NOT drunk on iced tea. I am happy that Sara quit FanFiction.**

**Dear Enjolras,**  
**SUMMER HEAT, BOY AND GIRL MEET, BUT OH, OH THE SUMMER NIGHTS! WOAH WHOA WOAH!**  
**Eponine E, who is NOT drunk on iced tea.**

**Dear Montparnasse,**  
**I am in NYC! SO YOU CANNOT KILL ME EVEN IF YOU WANTED TO!**  
**Eponine E, who is rejoicing at this thought.**

**Dear Eponine,**  
**MARIUS IS MIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!**  
**Eponine E, who is being forced to do exercises with her mom.**

**Dear Marius,**  
**YOU ARE MIIIIIIINE!**  
**Eponine E, who is very persistent in these kinds of things.**

**Dear Thenardier,**  
**IT IS COSETTE, NOT COLETTE! BLUUUURRRRRGGGGG!**  
**Eponine E, who thinks you are okay.**

**Dear Marsellaise,**  
**Are you irritated yet? Do wish I would stop? WELL I WON'T! BWAHAHAHAHA!**  
**Eponine E, who admits she is drunk on iced tea.**

**Dear Grand R,**  
**Now I know how it feels to be druuuuuuunk! Woooooooohooooooooooooo! ICED TEA IS SOOOOOO DELICIOUSSSSSSSSS! CAN YOU FEEEEEEL THE LOOOOOOVE TONIGHT?!**  
**Eponine E, who is feeling the love tonight.**

**Dear Jehan Prouvaire,**  
**I just saw THE LION KING ON BROADWAY TONIGHT! IT WAS BEEEEAUUUTIFULLLL! **  
**Eponine E, who can't wait to be queen**

**Dear Everyone...AGAIN, I'M GONNA BE A MIGHTY QUEEN, SO ENEMIES BEWARE! NO ONE SAY 'DO THIS'! NO ONE SAY 'BE THERE'! NO ONE SAY 'STOP THAT'! NO ONE SAY 'SEE HERE'! Cosette My Friend: *Sighs* I think it's time that you and I had a heart-to-heart. Me: QUEENS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM MY FRIEND COSETTE FOR A START! OH I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE QUEEEEEEEN!**  
**Eponine E, who will let nothing stand in her way.**

Éponine E-

Excuse me?

-Enjolras

Éponine E-

…And are you implying I do not have contacts in the New York City street gangs?

-Montparnasse who can in fact kill you

Éponine E-

That's fine. I'm fed up with him anyway.

-Éponine

Éponine E-

Whatever. I don't care. At All.

-Thénardier

Éponine E-

Um…well…I'm trying to get this typed before my internet shuts off so…

-Marseillaise

Éponine E-

Dude. You're hyper.

-R

Éponine E-

That's great! I really like that one :)

-Jehan

Éponine E-

Are you sure you're okay…?

-Combeferre

* * *

**Dear Mr. Lorry, Bossuet, Joly, Charles Darnay, and Javert,**  
**You guys are the BEST! We should all be BFFs 4ever and wear matching Javert uniforms! (Sorry, I just really love Javert's AWESOME hat! Can I have it? Can I have Gymont too?! Pretty please! I think the LAWR is awesome!) **

**Dear Gavroche and Navet,**  
**I think you guys are awesome! Here are some cookies for being awesome! (: :) (: :) **

**Dear Marius,**  
**I don't hate you! You can have a cookie too! (: :)! :D! **  
**Most Sincerely,**

**Oliver**

Oliver-

No. Javert doesn't get along with us. At all. Especially Darnay.

-Mr. Lorry, Bossuet, Joly, and Charles Darnay

NO.

-Javert

Oliver-

Sweet!

-Gav and Navet

Oliver-

Yay!

-Marius

* * *

**Dear Enjy,**  
**You know what I ship majorly? Besides Enjonine of course. Enjolvest! You and you're vest! Yep! Insane, but true.**  
**Love,**  
**Iceflower**

Icey-

Well? Can I call you that? Because you seem to think it's okay to call me Enjy, which it is not. And no. I do not have a romantic affiliation with any inanimate object.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Dear Eponine and Enjolras,**  
**I do not understand why people put some much pressure on the two of you to be romantically involved. You are your own people, and since you can like or stand each other's presence, it is nobody's business who you decide to romance. **  
**-Erin**

Erin-

You are amazing and we agree with you completely. Enjolras wanted to give you a speech but…no one would appreciate that. So you may have a cookie. (::)

-Enjolras and Éponine

* * *

**Just a preface to make this go smoothly read separately:**

**Valjean,**  
**I heard that Javert loves you to the point of weeping but would rather die than show his affection. How will you respond to this?**

**Javert,**  
**I hear that Valjean loves you so deeply he near falls to his knees for you in secret. What will you do about this?**

**-The Prince**

Prince-

That's nice. Tell him I'm a) dating Fantine because we're basically the same age by now and b) not at all interested in policemen who hunted me for years.

-Valjean

Prince-

…Throw him in jail, of course. He's a criminal.

-Javert

* * *

Dear Enjolras,

I get that you don't wanna be shipped with Éponine or Grantaire.

So now, ship you with Napoleon. Or maybe the king Louis-Philippe or whatever he's called.

- marmalaaaade.

Marmalaaaade-

NO. I would rather be with Grantaire or Éponine than the pear king or the emperor. NO.

-Enjolras

* * *

**Well! That was four (!) pages of reviews! Hopefully I can update sooner. Gee whiz!**

**-Marseillaise**


End file.
